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Monthly Archives: August 2011

Mindfulness and Creativity: The Wow of Wonder

Posted by admin on 08/24/2011 None comments

You are so creative.

Don’t deny it. Whether or not you consider yourself a creative type, the truth is that you are constantly creating ideas.

Mindfulness invites you to be aware of this constantly flowing river, and offers an opportunity to choose to sit beside it instead of swimming in it. By watching the ideas from that calm riverbank, you can more clearly see the ones that float to the top and sparkle in the sun.

But mindfulness is more than just mind watching mind. When we are engaged in the process of creating–whether that’s words, numbers, music, art, or movement–without getting swept up in the concept of where it might be leading, that is a very pure form of mindfulness.

If creating is mindfulness in action, the little push that gets things moving is the thrill of discovery. As humans, we are fascinated by novelty, and we are pulled by our joy of seeing something in a new light.

Mindfulness allows us to approach the world with childlike wonder, to play with new concepts, and to see things from a shifted perspective. You can’t always engage in new activities, but through mindfulness, you can look at the same-old same-old with fresh eyes.

The Wow of Wonder is what stimulates us to be creative. Without it, we are likely to come down with our culture’s most prevalent malady–mindlessness. Mindlessness causes us to move through life without really connecting to any of it. It’s living on auto-pilot. It’s living without wonder–or fun.

Here’s a helpful reminder: fun is good. We don’t have to make mindfulness HARD. There is nothing hard about it. We were incredibly mindful and creative as children, and guess what? We had a lot more fun then, too!

The things that captivated you as a child were objects and

ideas that triggered your sense of wonder. You noticed something new, and jumped right into the Wow of Wonder. And there were plenty of things that elicited that response every single day.

A bug you’d never seen. A card trick. Something under a microscope. A new musical instrument. A dance move. A song. An animal. A poem. A historical fact. A new flavor of candy.

Mindfulness is a catalyst for wonder. You notice something. An idea is sparked. A distinction is made. A perspective shifts. There is a fullness in that moment, ripe with possibilities but unburdened by expectations.

The Wow of Wonder is what allows us to transcend what we “know” and float in that river of ideas without sinking under the weight of evaluation. In our most mindful moments, it is wonder that saves us from overthinking and keeps things light.

There’s no need to work at making mindfulness a part of your life. It’s already there, and you can glimpse it in all of your favorite memories. Being right there in the moment, full of wonder, and playing with discovery–this is you being a creative person!

Pay attention to your moments of fun, and you’ll see that there’s a hefty dose of mindfulness in there. You are smiling. You are fully present. You are creating ideas and responses. You feel alive.

Becoming mindful is simply getting reconnected to wonder about the world and your place in it. Look for the Wow of Wonder, and you’ll find yourself immersed in mindfulness.

Isn’t it wonder-ful?

Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches fun and effective eyes-wide-open alternatives to meditation. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, please visit http://www.MassageYourMind.com

Mind – Emotion Commotion

Posted by admin on 08/23/2011 None comments

What is stress?

Stress is what you feel when you react to pressure from others or from yourself. Pressure can come from anywhere, including school, work, activities, friends, and family members. You can also feel stress from the pressure of wanting to get good grades or wanting to feel like you belong. Stress comes in many forms and everyone feels stress.

How does my body handle stress?

Your body has a built-in response to handle stress. When something stressful happens, you may experience sweaty palms, dry mouth, or knots in your stomach. This is totally normal and means that your body is working exactly as it should. Other signs of stress include emotional signs such as feeling sad or worried, behavioral (your actions) signs such as not feeling up to doing things, and mental (your mind) signs such as not being able to concentrate or focus.

What causes stress?

Just being a teen can be stressful – there is so much going on and so many changes that are happening all at once!

Some things that might cause stress

school work

not feeling good about yourself

changes in your body or weight

body shape or size

problems with friends, boyfriends, or other kids at school living in a dangerous neighborhood

peer pressure from friends to dress or act a certain way, or smoke, drink, or use drugs

not fitting in or being part of a group

moving or friends moving away

separation or divorce of parents

a family member who is ill

death of a loved one

changing schools

taking on too many activities at once

not getting along with your parents or having problems at home feeling lonely

There may be other things that cause stress for you that are not on this list. Also, it can be very tough when more than one stressful event happens at the same time or stress is ongoing.

Is stress always a bad thing?

No! A little bit of stress can work in a positive way. For instance, during a sports competition, stress might push you to perform better. Also, without the stress of deadlines, you might not be able to finish schoolwork or get to where you need to be on time.

What are signs that you have too much stress or are stressed out?

Signs that you are stressed out:

* feeling down, edgy, guilty or tired

* having headaches or stomachaches

* having trouble sleeping

* laughing or crying for no reason

* blaming others for bad things that happen to you

* wanting to be alone all the time (withdrawal)

* Not being able to see the positive side of a situation

* not enjoying activities that you used to enjoy

* feeling resentful of people or things you have to do

* feeling like you have too many things you have to do.

Some of these signs can also be signs of a more serious condition called depression. To find out if you might be dealing with depression and to learn how to get help, click here.

To find out how much you are stressed out, try the Stress-O-Meter quiz.

Are you stressed about your body?

During adolescence, your body is going through many changes that are happening at a fast pace.

These changes might make you feel unsure of yourself at times, or stressed. They might make you worry about your size and wanting to fit in with the rest of the crowd.

Click below to see if you have some of the same worries other girls have about their bodies:

During puberty, not only will you get taller, you will also see other changes in your body such as wider hips, bottoms, and thighs.

Because your body is starting to produce new hormones (like estrogen), your weight may change and your body, which has both muscle and fat, will also start to have more fat compared to muscle than it did before. Changes in estrogen levels can also cause mood swings – especially around your period.

Try not to worry! Each woman changes at her own pace and all of these new changes are normal. While you are experiencing these changes keep your self- confidence up by taking good care of yourself, eating healthy foods and getting regular exercise. Remember…you are unique and beautiful…just as you are.

For more information see Changes in Your Body.

What are ways you can handle stress?

Different people are stressed by different

things. For example: You might get upset or stressed when you don’t make good grades but your friend might not.

You might be able to handle doing homework and being involved in after-school activities but your sister or friend might feel they can’t do both.

Your friend might see moving to a new house as a stress but you might view it as an adventure.

There are no right or wrong things to stress over – there are just differences in what we consider to be stressful. No matter what stresses you out, there are many things you can try to help you deal.

How can you deal with the stress of a disaster, or a violent or tragic event?

Sometimes we are part of or have lived through a very stressful event such as a hurricane, a serious car accident, or an assault, like date rape. These kind of scary events can cause a very strong stress reaction in the victims but the reactions may be different for each person.

Some become cranky or depressed; others can’t sleep or have nightmares, some may keep reliving the experience, some might experience nervousness and their hearts might race, and some people put the event out of their minds. Feelings that lead to this type of stress include fear, a sense that your life is in danger, helplessness or horror.

You don’t have to be hurt to experience this type of stress, You can simply be a witness to the event or be threatened with physical harm to have this type of stressful reaction.

Whether or not you were directly affected by a traumatic event, it is normal to feel nervous about your own safety and wonder how you would react in an emergency. Here are some things you can do to handle this special kind of stress:

You may think it feels better to pretend the event did not happen, but it is best to be honest about how you are feeling. Ignoring or hiding your feelings can be worse for your health in the long run. It is okay to feel scared and uncertain.

Try to remember that, while you might feel like a changed person and everything seems off balance right now, your life will calm down and you will find a new normal groove.

Talk to a teacher, your parents, or a counselor about your sadness, anger, and other emotions. It can be tough to get started, but it is important to confide in someone you trust with your thoughts and feelings.

It is common to want to strike back at people who have caused you or those you love great pain. This feeling is normal, but it is important to understand that it is useless to respond with more violence. Nothing good can come from using hateful words or actions.

While you will always remember and feel changed by the event, the feelings will become less painful over time. In learning to cope with tragedy, you will become stronger and better at handling stressful situations. You may also find yourself appreciating life and the people you love even more.

Can stress lead to more serious problems?

Yes! Struggling with major stress and low self-esteem issues can contribute to more serious problems such as eating disorders, hurting yourself, depression, alcohol and drug abuse, and even suicide. Continued depression and thoughts about hurting or killing yourself are signs that it is time to seek help. Talk to an adult you trust right away!

To get help, call the National Youth Crisis Hotline at (800) 448-4663.

With Much Love,

Arthur Buchanan

President/CEO

Out of Darkness & Into the Light

43 Oakwood Ave. Suite 1012

Huron Ohio, 44839

567-219-0994 (cell)

http://www.out-of-darkness.com

They are calling Arthur Buchanan’s methods of recovering from mental illness REVOLUTIONARY! (MEDICAL COLLEGE OF MICHIGAN) ‘Arthur Buchanan has given us a revolutionary blue print for recovery in these uncertain times, when Mental Illness at a all time high in the United States of America, yet if you follow this young mans methods, we assure you of positive results and I QUOTE ‘If these methods are followed precisely, their is no way you can’t see positive results with whatever illness you have’ -Dr. Herbert Palos Detroit, Michigan

Listen to Arthur Buchanan on the Mike Litman Show!

http://www.freesuccessaudios.com/Artlive.mp3

LISTEN TODAY!

Alcohol Abuse information, tips, recovery and treatment.

The HALTS Approach to Stress Management

Posted by admin on 08/22/2011 None comments

One of the best professional experiences I have ever had was working for an adolescent drug treatment center for a good part of the eighties. I certainly didn’t make much money there, but what I learned during those six plus years was priceless.

HALTS is an acronym commonly used in substance abuse treatment that can be very usefully applied to stress management. A HALTS approach to managing our stress recommends that we avoid getting too Hungry Angry Lonely Tired Scared.

Let’s take a look at each of these five stressors and how to avoid them.

Hungry – Although food comes immediately to mind (when doesn’t it?), there are many other things for which we can “hunger.” We all need a sense of worth, connection to others and to something bigger than ourselves, appreciation, and many others. Miss out on some of these basic emotional needs for very long and we can end up stressed out, sad or depressed.

Tip: Stay connected to people and situations that help you meet these needs in a healthy way. Avoid those who don’t as much as possible.

Angry – Anger is a huge source of stress. I get angry, you get angry, all God’s children get angry. No problem there. The problem comes when anger is our most common emotion and our first response to most situations. Recent research has demonstrated that constant anger is not only not good for you, it can kill you.

Tip: Pay attention to and deal with the emotions that anger typically grows out of: fear, frustration, hurt.

Lonely – In spite of all the modern ways we have to communicate with each other, we still live in a culture where it is incredibly easy to become isolated. Most people don’t know the names of their neighbors on either side or across the street. I know of people who are “just too busy” to spend the time to connect with other people. These folks are way too busy for their own good.

Tip: Take the time to connect and stay connected to others. Walk next door and introduce yourself. Call an old friend you have not spoken with in a while. Stay connected. Connection and

community relieve stress.

Tired – Vince Lombardi said “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.” It’s not that most people don’t have the time to rest, it’s that most people have actually forgotten how. When it comes to the ultimate form of rest, sleeping, when was the last time you got the recommended 8 – 10 hours? You can stop laughing now. We can push ourselves just so far before the body takes over and forces us to rest. I’ve worked with clients that have told me that it’s actually a badge of honor among their colleagues to have been hospitalized for exhaustion. Go figure.

Tip: In addition to getting enough sleep, schedule time to rest. Put it in your appointment book, and protect it and keep it like you would any other important appointment.

Scared – In the Tarzan movies I watched as a kid, there were these natives with blowguns who would shoot darts coated with poison that would render a person temporarily paralyzed. Fear can do the same thing – paralyze us into inaction. Fear of failure, of rejection, of success, of the future, you name it, we get too scared and we freeze up.

Tip: Facing your fears and taking action is spite of them can reduce or eliminate your fears. Remember that fear stands for forget everything and run and false evidence appearing real. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is being afraid of something and doing it anyway.

For better or worse, we may have too much of one of these on any given day. Consistently having two or more can indicate a situation in need of change. Practice these tips to successfully manage your stress or you might want to get with someone who can coach you on making your stress work for you.

Visit http://www.TheArticleGuy.com for more leading edge tips and tools for writing articles that bring you prospects, publicity and profits. You can also subscribe to our monthly Article Writing & Marketing Tips Newsletter. You are also invited to visit my Express-Start Article Writing Program for more information on the next article writing tele-seminar.

Don’t Let Chronic Bad Breath Ruin Your Life

Posted by admin on 08/22/2011 None comments

There’s nothing worse than having a close conversation with someone and suddenly becoming aware of a horrible smell. You look for the cause and then realize the person you’re talking to has awful smelly breath.

You take a quick step back because the grisly odor makes you feel nauseous and uncomfortable at the same time. You forget about the conversation, date, meeting or last kiss and try to get away as quickly as possible. But was it them or you?

Unfortunate putrid smelling breath brings out a very natural and uncontrollable response: get away FAST! This is a very sticky situation to deal with and often awkward for both parties. Bad breath is nasty but whether bad breath is stalking you, a family member, a friend, relative or coworker it needs to be dealt with and it’s not that hard.

Trying to ignore it doesn’t help anyone. It only prolongs the problem and the situation, making everyone feel more and more uncomfortable.

Your Personal Responsibility

So what can you do about bad breath? Really, if it’s not your bad breath why should you interfere at all? No good upsetting everyone, Right? Wrong!

First of all, each and every one of us has a responsibility to take good care of our teeth by using good oral hygiene. And it’s not only about preventing bad breath.

Sometimes bad breath is a sign of something more sinister. Bad breath causes could even include; digestive problems, infected sinuses, ulcers, a rotten tooth or even candida. Something that could spread, something more serious.

If the person isn’t aware they have chronic bad breath or halitosis they won’t investigate it and ignore the other more severe health issues they might have. Now how do you feel?

Secondly, if bad breath is just a case of laziness then no-one around them should be made to put up with it. Afterall, it’s just common sense and common courtesy that others don’t suffer because of another’s lack of hygiene because they can’t be bothered to make an effort.

People who know that

they have a problem with foul breath should recognize it and do their best to fix the problem immediatley and to the best of their ability. If handling the problem on their own doesn’t get rid of their bad breath then it’s time for professional help starting with their dentist and doctor.

How to Break the News to Others

If you’re ever faced with talking to or dealing with a person who has bad breath it’s important to address the situation rather than ignore it.

Particularly if you see them often. It’s easy to turn a blind eye but they deserve to know that their chronic bad breath is obvious to everyone and that they need to get a bad breath spray, remedy or treatment quickly.

You’d want to know, wouldn’t you?

It could be a medical problem that they’re completely unaware of and the smelly odor from their mouth is just a symptom of something more serious. You could can save someone’s life. Even though this is a difficult conversation to have it’s important. Not only for the other person’s health but for their self esteem. When people are constantly trying to get away from you it effects your relationships with others and the way you feel about yourself.

A small step to telling someone that they have bad breath is to offer them a piece of gum or a mint and gently tell them that they may need to see a physician to discover what their problem is. This should help most people understand they have a problem.

Still, some people need something more direct, telling them they have bad breath and need to do something about it. All though this is a hard thing to do it is something that needs to be done particularly if it is a person you like, value or want in your life.

Now if you have bad breath, then stay tuned because we will be covering bad breath remedies, cures, treatments and products.

Sweeten Up Your Life

Posted by admin on 08/21/2011 None comments

Sometimes life experiences can be like a lemon-flavored Tootsie Roll Pop. Hard and sour on the outside. Soft and sweet on the inside. Take getting dumped in a relationship for instance. Facing life alone can be tough for many people. Yet, there are behind-the-scenes benefits to every predicament! There’s even a sweet treat hidden within the experience of losing a lover.

You can find the “pop”—the sweetness—inside your tart tootsie roll by looking behind the surface appearance of your situation. Ask yourself some probing questions: “What’s been the beneficial effect of my predicament?” “What did I learn that helped me become a better person?” and “What good eventually came out of the situation?”

By focusing on how the experience served you, you can discover how the loss of a relationship can restore your trust in life. Or how losing your job or health can propel you closer to your dreams!

Let’s check out some real-life lemons. Here are some examples of the unseen rewards of losing your relationship, job and health. And how the sour aftertaste can become sweet!

Benefits of Being Dumped

I was secure in my second marriage. Then, after 15 years, my husband suddenly abandoned me to marry an older woman. You heard right—an older woman! Go figure!

For years following the divorce, my feelings of hurt and anger were compounded by a sense of failure and humiliation. A decade later, I still feel the sting of betrayal. But now I’m armed with the outlook that every experience serves me. “So,” I ponder, “what could possibly be the hidden value of getting dumped?”

While searching for the benefits, I unearth my involvement in the betrayal. The more honest I am, the more I uncover the truth: I’m the cause of my husband leaving me!

I Knew at the Altar!

I realize now that the betrayal began at the church altar. As my fiancée slipped the ring on my finger, I knew that we weren’t meant to be married to each other. I betrayed my own intuition by agreeing to be his wife. The undeniable fact is that I’m the one who abandoned me, not my spouse.

Why didn’t I listen to my inner knowing? I realize now that I was afraid to be alone. To avoid loneliness, I jumped into matrimony.

These startling realizations release emotions that have haunted me for years. As more liberating insights pour in, the sour feelings begin to lift. I actually start to appreciate my ex-husband! He had the courage to tell himself and me the straight dope—that our relationship was dead.

Long-term Rewards

Having these fresh insights gives me renewed strength and curiosity to keep asking questions. What could possibly be the long-term benefits of being forced to live on my own? How has it served me to have to take care of myself? What good has come from this experience?

Slowly I begin to spot my good fortune of being left in the lurch:

  • I’ve learned to trust my intuition—and life itself—again

  • I’ve faced my fear of being alone and find that I enjoy being with myself

  • I’ve learned how to make my own way in the world

  • My focus has shifted from material to spiritual pursuits

When you live alone, you stop being controlled by another person’s actions and reclaim the freedom to pursue your personal passions. You create a more personally meaningful lifestyle. And being alone, you’re much more available to people

and activities that support you in creating your unique dreams.

Benefits of Losing Your Job

“We won’t be needing your services any longer.” When I heard these words come out of my employer’s mouth, I was floored. But I shouldn’t have been.

Out of desperation, I’d taken employment to pay my bills. Then every day for months, I silently complained to myself about the work I was doing. I constantly struggled to make myself fit into an occupation that didn’t suit me.

The value of losing the job was actually very obvious.

  • I get out of work that zaps my energy and health

  • I discover that I can create a better position

  • I move on to a livelihood that has more passion for me

When you look under the surface appearance of being let go, you may find, in actuality, that you gave yourself “the boot.” On a deeper level of awareness, you wanted out of the job. With the aid of hindsight, you see that you unconsciously managed to get yourself fired because it was time for you to move on to the next stage of your self-expression.

Benefits of Losing Your Health

The excruciating sciatica pain running through my leg and back was forcing me to lie motionless in bed for days. Suspecting that being laid up is serving me in some way, I look for the value in being sick. I discover that the affliction is a “wake up!” call. The pain is alerting me to the fact that I’m not supporting and nurturing myself by the way I’m living my life.

I realize that:

  • I’ve avoided developing my talent as a writer

  • I’d actually be happier if I spent more time perfecting my craft and getting my articles out into the world

  • I’m now strong enough to face my fear of having my articles criticized or rejected

  • I know how to write intriguing articles that editors will publish

The value of the sciatica was that it gave me the opportunity to check in with my spirit to see where I was off track in my life. When I got my life back on course, I re-established my health and vitality.

Losing your health forces you to take a long, deep look at your life. Being ill immobilizes you to some degree, which gives you time to review the people and activities you’re involved with. The message of sickness is almost always that you’re engaged with people and activities that aren’t intuitively right for you. Life pursuits that are out of harmony with your true interests and values pull your body out of balance. Eventually, the imbalance makes you ill. You’ll find that when you take action to bring yourself back into alignment with your spirit, your health improves.

Where’s Your “Pop”?

Wouldn’t you like to transform hurt into gain? You can! A sweet core lies under the surface appearance of any sour experience. By realizing the benefits of any situation, you can find the “pop” inside your lemon tootsie roll.

About The Author

As a personal life coach and vision quest guide, Sulana Stone assists people to discover and express their life purpose through private sessions and workshops. Find out how to get more love in life, a more fulfilling job, or find a purpose beyond the mundane with a FREE Prosperity Ezine and FREE Empowerment Tape at www.SedonaVisionQuest.com. Contact her at sulanastone@yahoo.com or 602.861.2631 for free coaching.

Trust Yourself, Not the Experts

Posted by admin on 08/21/2011 None comments

Time and time again, I’ve seen people rely on expert advice and find the advice doesn’t work for them. Then they beat themselves up that they must be incompetent because “it should work.” Almost every week now, I receive at least one email telling me such a story, often ending with a line like, “Am I just too stupid / broken / antisocial / undisciplined / weak?”

Don’t do this to yourself. Often advice doesn’t work because it’s bad advice. Of the hundreds of personal development books I’ve read, I’d say most of them contained bad advice, meaning that the ideas and suggestions simply did not work for me. They produced zero results or even negative results. But this doesn’t mean the author was lying. In most cases I could see a reason why the advice might have worked well for the author but wouldn’t work for me. We’re all different. What works for one person or even a group of people doesn’t always translate well to every individual.

As an example I’ve read many books that recommend daily affirmations. Maybe those do work for some people, but I’ve found that for me they’re an utter waste of time. Even when I believed they’d work, the results were lousy. What works better for me isn’t to recite my goals out loud but to shut up and get busy taking action on them.

Often when I mention an idea in this blog, for some people it will work great, but for others it will go nowhere. If something that works for certain people doesn’t work for you, don’t assume you’re broken. Assume that from your perspective, it’s just lousy advice.

It doesn’t matter how well-credentialed an expert is or what studies they have to back up their claims. Unless they’ve studied you personally, be suspicious of any advice that comes from “general findings.” If possible find out if it works through direct experience, but if it doesn’t work, simply say, “Next!”

How well do

studies on “average” people apply to someone who isn’t average? Are you average? I’m certainly not. How many studies done on the general population would apply equally to a vegan, colorblind, left-handed, blue-eyed, ENTJ, college-educated, Vegas-residing father of two? For example, only about 1 in 500 Americans are vegan, so how could I trust any health study where my subdivision is lumped in with the other 99.8% who eat extremely differently than I do every single day? I’ve got to be initially skeptical that anything that applies to the 99.8% would still be true of the 0.2%.

Aren’t you unique as well? Do you completely fit the average mold in terms of your genetics, diet, upbringing, education, finances, family situation, residence, hobbies, etc? Or can you identify some manner in which you may be different than 99.9% of the population to such a degree that what applies to 999 random people will probably not apply to you?

Don’t worry so much about what the so-called experts say. Decades from now their advice will probably be proven wrong anyway. Study yourself as an individual, and use expert advice only as a general guide for new experiments of your own. Notice what works for you and what doesn’t. Trust your senses. If the experts say one thing, but your personal experience suggests the opposite, put more faith in your own experience. That will take you much farther down the road of personal development… certainly a lot farther than beating yourself up.

Copyright © Steve Pavlina

Steve Pavlina

Personal Development for Smart People

http://www.stevepavlina.com

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog (blog)

http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles (articles)

Steve is intensely growth-oriented. He trained in martial arts, ran the L.A. Marathon, and graduated from college in three semesters with two degrees. He can juggle, count cards at blackjack, and make damn good guacamole. Steve is also a polyphasic sleeper, sleeping just 2-3 hours per day and only 20 minutes at a time. So chances are good that he’s awake right now.

7 Ways to use Yoga Instruction in Our Everyday Lives

Posted by admin on 08/19/2011 None comments

I was happily listening to my yoga teacher’s calm voice today as she gently instructed and led us through our class, and I had an insight. I could use her directions to live my life in a much calmer way! I started listening more closely as I moved through my asanas, which felt so good after not having done yoga in a few months. These were wonderful directions to help live in a stress-free way. I would like to share my thoughts and give you ideas how you can live your life in a “yoga” way!

1. Breathe. My instructor asked us to focus on our breathing. How often have I suggested to my clients and friends to stop and take a breath to relieve stress? Stop and make sure you breathe deeply into your lungs. Fill your lungs with the much-needed oxygen and fill your body with this life giving force.

2. Don’t hunch up your shoulders. The way my teacher put it today, was “don’t wear your shoulders as earrings.” How often have we tensed and stayed tensed until our neck, back and shoulders ache?

3. Listen to your body. In yoga, your body will tell you if it can hold a pose and whether you can challenge it at that time. My instructor tells us to rest in child’s pose if we need to. Throughout our own days, we need to listen to our own bodies. If you are tired, you need to hear your body tell you to rest. You need to learn to listen to hear whether you are truly hungry or thirsty. Your body will tell you what it needs.

4. Don’t judge yourself by the other people in the class. Challenge yourself to live the best life

you can, for you. Yoga is not a competition. Life doesn’t need to be competitive. There is plenty for all of us and we all need to move and do things in our own way-a way that brings us fulfillment and happiness.

5. Each pose has a counter pose. When you work your body with backbends, you balance this out with a foreword bend. Here it is-the harmony we want in our lives. The balance between work and play, rest and activity, studying and experiencing.

6. Stretch. Feel your body extend itself. Do stretches throughout the day to loosen your muscles and keep your body flexible. Let’s also stretch the mind toward learning and new ideas.

7. Try to do the balance poses, but realize that on some days we will not be as balanced as on other days. Sometimes, we can balance on one side better than on the other side. What if you cut yourself some slack on the days you didn’t feel “balanced” and realize that you may have to take it slower or easier?

Let’s use these ideas in our daily life and see if we can be a little calmer, a little gentler, and a little less stressed at the end of our “yoga day.”

Diana Fletcher©2009

Certified Life Coach, author, and speaker Diana Fletcher is The Stress Reducing Expert. She is a master at helping her clients and students reduce their stress and live healthier, more balanced lives. 

For fun and easy ideas of how to improve your health and lower your stress level immediately, visit www.DianaFletcher.com and receive “25 Simple Tips to Reducing Stress,” or register for one of Diana’s free monthly teleseminars today.  For regular tips and information, read Diana’s blog at http://dianafletcher.wordpress.com.

Staying Now Is Miraculous

Posted by admin on 08/19/2011 None comments

When you are smack dab in the middle of a problem, there doesn’t seem to be any way out. You feel overcome with tension, anxiety and worry. The speeding non-stop thoughts racing through your head feel sickening. Never relinquishing control for an instant, that insidious mind ferociously threatens any chance of sanity you long for. Its crushing mental blows are disheartening, making you feel isolated and alone. Nothing but fear courses through your veins as you frantically seek freedom the chaos.

Stop a minute before you accept total defeat and ask yourself this question. Have you ever noticed that every time this happens you never pause long enough to realize that your mind is any place but NOW, in the present moment? Like a horse at the starting gate, you quickly bolt to the “what if” department firmly convinced you can predict the future. There’s a lot of disjointed, useless worrying going on instead of being current with the instant. Isn’t there? Rather than taking a second to calm down when you feel thrown, you immediately seek relief by lamenting over past predicaments or jumping ahead to ferret out what’s might happen. Your vivid imagination is quickly used as a crutch to avoid staying right now.

Uncomfortably hectic feelings of the unknown make it unbearable for you to want to stay focused on NOW (where unlimited options occur if you let them). You’d much rather feed the need to figure things out. You project unlimited scenarios then live in mortal fear of your own creations. Totally unaware and oblivious to the fact that it’s the emotion surrounding what’s happening showing for you to look at. You’re being challenged to move away from what you know from past patterning. Challenged to move out of the habitual and into the spontaneous.

The whole process of change feels horrible because it’s automatic to flip to what you’re used to. You’ve been taught that this little scheming mind provides healthy, methodical plans designed to protect you from repeated mistakes. “Learn from experience,” you’re told. “Plan ahead.” “Don’t leave the future to chance.” None of which support real happiness. All of which are in direct opposition to living in the NOW. NOW means NOW. It’s the smartest move you can make if you want truly want the most helpful action.

The mind is not your friend. It’s composed of intellect, which is not necessarily intelligence. That’s the problem. An analytical, emotion-filled referral service which you call a mind (based solely on past/future calculations), guarantees you’ll never have any peace. Made up of ignorance piled on top of ignorance, it tricks you into believing it’s knowledgeable. Playing this game is delightful to it. The more it has you going, the more fearful you become. Like a tennis ball in a heated match it perpetually whips you back and forth, keeping the focus far away from the here and NOW.

There’s no doubt a mind is good for remembering where you live, getting to the grocery store, tasks to be performed at work, names and places. Other than that it’s nothing but a twenty-four hour irritation that never shuts up. Next time you contemplate trusting that mind take this saying into consideration first, “The human mind has an infinite capacity to conceive on a finite basis.” That’s why you keep getting into trouble when you attempt to think your way through things. It’s a dead-end street. A crowded head leaves no room for answers.

In retrospect, don’t all really helpful solutions come out of nowhere? No matter what the size, aren’t real answers spontaneous, profound and unexpected? You followed your gut or were led to take action for one reason or another. Mentally reliving your past and then projecting your known fears into the future leaves absolutely no space for a fresh, unscarred, unblemished present does it? You must let go of your death grip on the known. It’s miraculous when you do. The definition of a miracle is a change of mind.

Staying right now, clinging to the absolute moment is true protection. It’s where all miracles come from. It’s your only protection. There is no past or future, i.e. no thinking in NOW. There is no fear either. You can’t project when you stay NOW. Therefore, problems evaporate. It appears to melt down that which isn’t. Like darkness when light comes in a room, it disappears.

Why? You’re not one second into the future or one second into the past. Prior conditioning isn’t tagging along to interfere with potentiality. Thinking and NOW cannot coexist, therefore, there is never a crisis in NOW. If your past and your future are wiped out, what is there to be afraid of?

Whether you realize it or not, NOW is indestructible and invisible. That’s why it’s a safe place to rest. It’s vastness is infinite, unlimited. When trouble and whatnot flits across your horizon, do you immediately go to NOW and stay there? Or, do you start with all of your troubles and keep running them

through your head over and over again?

Do you think to ask yourself if NOW is troubled, or in trouble? If NOW is annoyed? Then continue on by asking yourself if there is more than the one alone, more than this NOW moment? When you start with NOW and stay there, your little bitty tape-playing mind won’t find a listener. It won’t find a place to penetrate and infiltrate. Don’t think it’s silly because it isn’t. The practice of being NOW is the most effective action you can take.

Thinking creates problems. It’s the only hell there is. You take delivery of the goods. You buy the farm and then desperately try to dig your way out of it. You do it to yourself. You’re screaming bloody murder when all along it’s you against yourself. What other mind is doing it to you? Thus the saying, “When you are happy you aren’t thinking and when you are thinking you aren’t happy… so don’t think!”

There’s no doubt that problems seem to be real and overpowering when you’re down in there with them. That’s why you have to get some distance and refrain from any judgment for a while. Worry pushes away answers. You must raise yourself higher than the level of the problem to solve it and that is exactly what staying NOW does. While it doesn’t make rational sense, when you let go and rest in NOW what needs to be done will be done. The trick is remembering to do it.

It may be hard to believe, but everything actually works much better when you stop all your anxious thinking. Try it. The world worked just fine before you came along and it will continue to do so after you leave. Desires, expectations and needs tend to trip you up because they become more important than living life itself. Instead of being nice additions, these external things become demands for happiness.

A quote from the book Visthistha’s Yoga says, “The very best intelligent means by which the mind can be subdued is complete freedom from desire, hope or expectation, in regard to all objects at all times.” Which means lighten your burden through non-attachment. Let go and live. Live from NOW to NOW, not knowing what’s next. It’s very easy and very difficult at the same time. Yet, anyone who is truly earnest in his/her effort will achieve this.

Aren’t you always surprised if you don’t expect anything? You are happier too. “My burden is light,” comes from the Gospel According to Thomas. When you don’t have hope, desire or expectation can you possibly feel weighted down? Your mind ends up leading you instead of you leading it, like a dog walking its master rather than the other way around. You start fidgeting and projecting, and then your mind just goes nuts. You worry yourself to death, needlessly and miss the beauty of NOW. You’re too busy analyzing everything to death because you want to be right. You miss every thing that’s precious and valuable.

When was the last time you actually appreciated the blueness of the sky, the colors of a rainbow or the gentleness of a butterfly? How long has it been since you really looked at the trees, noticed the beauty of colorful flowers or smelled freshly cut grass? You can’t grab NOW. By the time you try to grab this NOW, there is another NOW. Certainly, you can enjoy the fragrance of each special moment by being a present part of its splendor.

Don’t be like Mrs. Lott (from the Bible) who turned to look back and became a pillar of salt. Looking back into the past is deadness. Looking forward into the future is lifeless. If you want peace, drop thinking and hand over your mind to NOW. Just put one foot in front of the other and stay absolutely, positively right NOW. NOW and God are synonymous terms. How risky could it be? It may seem impractical, but nothing could be further from the truth.

Armed with only her heart and an idea Pat Zerman founded the Atlanta Center for Attitudinal Awareness. The Center has been providing dynamic personal and spiritual growth opportunities for 15 years. Pat counsels, conducts classes and publishes a monthly newsletter. She has produced audio and videotapes and made guest appearances on TV and radio shows. Her dedication, caring and years of exprience continue to positively change lives for those who participate in her classes or read her book, Twelve Guaranteed Ways to Stay Miserable (Or Change).

She received her Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology as well as availing herself of countless books written in the self-help field and a board spectrum of spirutual-based books. Her own difficult life expriences of having an alcoholic mother, the murder of her sister and her stepbrother’s death from AIDS pushed her to dive deeply into these writings.

Clients learn to risk loving and respecting themselves by taking action. People get honest about the feelings that run them and are able to work through and dump emotional baggage.

Alcohol Abuse information, tips, recovery and treatment.

14 Relationship Principles to Live A Successful Relationship

Posted by admin on 08/18/2011 None comments

Each relationship combines two individual stories to coauthor a new relationship story. The implicit contracts authored by each party in a relationship become unspoken assumptions that can facilitate or derail the relationship.

A crucial part of communication in a relationship is to make explicit the hidden assumptions and implicit expectations. To see the point of view of the other and to communicate that understanding, each must respect the other’s point of view. Understanding and respect are not synonymous with agreement.

The ultimate freedom is not to rely on someone else’s response to determine how you feel about yourself.

Ineffectiveness of communication, simply feeling that what you said was not heard or registered by the other, may result in irritation or anger. So often the content of the discussion is focused on with greater intensity, rather than the process initiating the derailment of feeling ineffective in not being heard.

14 Relationship Principles

1. Each person has a point of view. Communication is the establishment of a common ground to understand different points of view to create a mutual, collaborative agreement or plan.

2. Developing empathy with another is predicated on doing it with yourself first. Empathy is a way of listening to yourself as well as to another person with resonance of an entire experience of feeling, thinking, perceiving, and behaving.

3. Rapport is from the French word rapporter which means to be in touch or contact with a person, including yourself.

4. With emotionally charged subjects, reflect back to someone what you hear them saying before saying what you will say. This reflection assures the other’s sense of effectiveness in knowing that you register what was said, and better positions him or her to hear your point of view.

5. What someone believes is more important than what they know.

6. Requiring that others respond to you in a particular way renders inauthentic the person and their response.

7. We are always communicating; there are many languages, and some even use words. “Do not the most moving movements of our lives find us all without words?” (Marcel Marceau)

8. What you don’t do is as important as what you do.

9. Strike while the iron is cold. Known when to be reflective and invoke principles. When a child is drowning is no time to teach rules of swimming.

10. There are few true emergencies in life. “I’d like to think about that and get back to you” is a response.

11. Everyone fails empathically with another at times. Most important in a relationship is how the empathic ruptures are learned from to then come together with greater understanding. At times the most important thing may not be what you have done, but what you do after what you have done.

12. To forgive someone

is to free yourself.

13. You cannot change yourself by first trying to change someone else. To have someone live an unexpressed part of yourself can be both unsatisfying and addictive.

14. The only person you can change is you. Attempting to change someone else’s mode of processing or personality style won’t work, and will create derailments. Quicken software will not change to WordPerfect.

Relationship Principles Applied to Marriage

1. Marriage is the most difficult and complex contract someone can enter into that they will ever know. Communication is vital as an ongoing effort. Remember to reflect back what you hear the other saying first, in order to maintain effectiveness in communication.

2. Discuss how to facilitate meeting needs, as well as needs of love and connection in the relationship.

3. Be present to yourself and to your partner.

4. Limit spending the currencies of worry, regret, remorse and suffering.

5. Distinguish self issues from relationship issues and commit to work on both.

6. Collaborate on how to maintain romance, sensual pleasure and the “in love” feeling; when these experiences evolve over time, it does not have to mean a diminution of love, romance or excitement.

7. Recognize gender-specific and unique individual characteristics. For example, creating pleasure for a woman may include the romantic experience of candles, music, and a special dinner. The same pleasure for a man may include a certain dress, lingerie, and a graphic sexual encounter.

RELATIONSHIP EXERCISE

These reflections are designed to clarify and facilitate the developing a more satisfying relationship.

1. How did we do in our last conversation? How do I feel about that?

2. What patterns in our relationship and conversations do I want to expand? To change? To not create? 3. How do I feel around him/her?

4. Am I being all of myself in the relationship?

5. What judgements do I make of myself around this person? What judgments do I make of him/her?

6. What judgments or criticism do I assume and expect?

7. What do we each want from the other?

8. What do we each need from the other?

9. Am I relying on this person to provide some need or want that I could provide for myself?

10. How could I better support my partner?

11. What could I communicate to him/her know more about what I want and need?

12. What do we do for fun? How can we expand what we do for fun while taking into account our individual interests and definition of fun?

David Krueger, M.D. is an Executive Strategist/ Professional Coach who mentors executives, entrepreneurs, and authors. http://www.executivestrategist.biz execstrategist@aol.comHe is author of 11 books on success, money, work, and self-development. This article is excerpted from Dr. Krueger’s 12th book, soon to be published, LIVE A NEW LIFE STORY: The Essentials of Change, Reinvention, and Personal Success.

Shoes – Part II

Posted by admin on 08/18/2011 None comments

I have another shoe story I’d like to share with you. I found this “bargain” just the other day. The highest quality brand of comfortable shoes that I ever wear at an amazing price. The style and the color were just what I was looking for.

At first when I found them on the shelf I thought there must be some mistake on the price. I put them on (only one because the other had a security tag on it that wouldn’t allow my foot to go in) and took it for a quick spin up and down the aisle. They seemed to be okay and I was in a state of bargain-glee.

I felt rather smug, like I got away “with one”, as I headed to the checkout. With great anticipation I put them on the very next day and headed off to my world of work…I felt like a blessed man.

About two hours into my day, I began to notice something: My feet were sore. I also looked at my shoes more closely and noticed a couple imperfections.

By the end of the day I was questioning my “bargain” (and feeling quite humbled instead of smug). It was at that point that I had an enlightened moment: I had fallen prey to the infamous bargain-impulse purchase. I had not been thorough in my research, and instead, I made a decision based on emotional impulse.

As I have since reviewed this incident (and the shoes are feeling better now that they have broken-in some, but the imperfections are still there), I have been reminded of the following life-lessons:

  1. If you settle for less, you always get less – My emotional “great bargain so go for it” state

    did not allow me to thoroughly investigate my purchase. I simply did not have enough data and experience with these shoes to make a good decision.

  2. If the shoe (sorta) fits, you still don’t have to wear it (or buy it) – Fulfilling and healthy choices are based on my values, needs and boundaries. When I instead act on emotional impulse, I may in fact be out of alignment with what is really important in my life.

  3. The foundation is the most important part of my every situation – I just happened to be sitting next a chiropractic physician at a meeting yesterday morning and we got talking about shoes. He reminded me that our whole body rests on our feet, and if something is not right at the feet, the whole body can be thrown off. And so it is with life: My personal foundation needs to be of the highest quality so that my life will operate efficiently, effectively and abundantly.

So I learned some great lessons via my (not) shoe bargain…I was reminded not to settle; to be clear about what I really want; and to take care of and cherish the most important aspects of my life… I hope you also had an enlightened moment or two as you read this.

Ken Donaldson has been based in Tampa Bay offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His REALationship Coaching programs empower people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships by building a powerful relationship with themselves first. Visit his website at http://www.REALationshipCoach.com for more information and sign-up his free e-program Illuminations and Sparks of Brilliance. Ken is also the author of the upcoming book Marry YourSelf First!