Monthly Archives: October 2011

Biggest Time Management Mistake

Posted by admin on 10/31/2011 None comments

The biggest time management mistake you can ever make isforgetting your closest partner in life. The one who stayswith you all the way from cradle to grave. Theone who drives you through your daily and nightly routines,who runs all your habits. You want it or not, this partnerof yours is the real manager of most of your time. His nameis Your Subconscious Mind.

You and Your Subconscious Mind make one tightly bound teamin everything you do. Whatever big or small project youundertake, you two depend critically on each other. Andunless you both work in the same direction, your team hardlymakes any big progress.

But how do you align those directions? Like in any team,communication is the key. You need to communicate to YourSubconscious Mind the specific target you want to hit and inwhat time frame. Of course, you can take the lead and setthe direction to go. Yet, you still need to convince YourSubconscious Mind to follow you in that direction and hityour target.

The challenge is that Your Subconscious Mind has a stubbornand inert personality. If you just tell him what to do, hedoes not listen you well. He already has strong opinionsabout what you should be doing instead. After all, he is theone who holds all your beliefs that you absorbed throughoutyour life up to now. And he has a comprehensive toolbox ofroutines and automatic reactions to get you through yourday.

But don’t give up on this challenge. If you manage toconvince Your Subconscious Mind to drive you in thedirection you want to go, he has the power to make youunstoppable! The power that can keep you on course throughthe storms of every day distractions and interruptions.

But how? How do you convince Your Subconscious Mind to helpyou? You need to learn how to communicate in the way heaccepts and understands. That special way of communicationwith Your Subconscious Mind is what goal setting techniquesand skills are really all about.

While there are finer points that you can pick up in booksor

on my site, here is the core essence of goal settingtechniques as a way of communicating with Your SubconsciousMind.

The most critical element of goal setting is WRITING yourgoals. For a number of reasons, this writing process isabsolutely necessary for Your Subconscious Mind to take themseriously. Writing is the basis of the communication.Anything less than a clearly written goal will be discardedas unimportant noise.

Note that the goal writing process is a two waycommunication. When you write your goal, if YourSubconscious Mind does not accept that goal as reasonable,he will try block your hand until you actually writesomething more realistic.

The second critical element is about the way you formulatethe goal when you write it. You want to get your pointacross to Your Subconscious Mind most directly andeffectively, in the language he understands best. That’s whyyou need to follow certain rules of goal writing.

In particular, formulate your goal in present tense, as acomplete sentence that starts with “I”. Make the goal asmeasurable and specific as you can. Correct and rewrite ituntil it is crystal clear.

Set a specific time frame. Set it by finishing your sentence with a deadline that you honestly think you can meet.

Keep those notes in a safe place and come back to themoften to review and correct your written goals. Keep thinking about them throughout your day.

Finally, take a few minutes right now and actually writedown three to five of your most desirable goals. Reconnect to that important partner of yours and start communicating. Right now, and from now on.

Sergey Dudiy, Ph.D., is a time management writer and web entrepreneur, founder of Time-Management-Guide.com, the definitive guide topersonal time management and goal setting.

He also publishes freeTime Management Fortress newsletter, dedicated tobuilding a stronger foundation for your success skills.Subscribe today and get a free copy of his report Getting Unstuck When You Have Too Many Things to Do or Under Pressure.

If you reprint this article, your notification athttp://www.time-management-guide.com/contact.htmlwould be appreciated, though not required.

If You Want Others to Like You, Like Yourself First!

Posted by admin on 10/31/2011 None comments

Many of us mistakenly believe that it’s wrong or conceited, to think we have any good qualities. We may spend a lot of time berating ourselves for our negative qualities, thinking that self criticism is the key to improving our performance. However, a constant focus on our supposed shortcomings can hinder our efforts to make friends with other people.

How can we have the confidence to make new friends if we think we don’t have much to offer? How can we believe that others could like us if we believe our inner being is flawed? Or if we think we are too boring to interest anyone else?

We may wonder what anyone else would see in us if we don’t see any good in ourselves. In order for others to be attracted to us, they must be able to easily see our best qualities. If we focus on our good qualities we will have much more confidence that we have something of value to offer in a relationship.

If you wish to be socially successful, it’s important to accept the fact that not everybody is going to like you under all circumstances. Not everyone is going to like the package you come in, especially on first meeting you. Every person has a unique patterns of likes and dislikes which were formed long before they met you. Don’t think you have to condemn yourself as a failure if it seems that someone else doesn’t like you.

If someone seems to dislike you, the reason for that dislike might have little or nothing to do with you. The person who doesn’t like you might be fearful, or shallow, or busy or shy. Perhaps you and that person are simply a mismatch for each other at this particular time.

Don’t take yourself out of the game by deciding that your flaws are bigger than your assets. In fact, some of the very qualities you consider to be flaws may be irresistible to someone else. For all the factors that might cause one person to reject you, there are at least as many factors that will work in your favor with someone else.

You might be thirty pounds over your ideal weight, but you may have a wonderful laugh and a huge zest for life. There are many people to whom your extra pounds will literally be invisible. You may drive a shabby car, but you might be a great dancer and a loyal friend. There are people out there looking for loyalty, or fun, or sweetness, or wit, and the package it comes in is not important.

If you are worried that you are not beautiful enough to attract friends, keep in mind that not everyone

is looking for physical beauty in their friends.

You can decide to feel inferior because you don’t have much money and you don’t drive a nice car. You can believe that this is the reason that you don’t have many friends in your life. On the other hand, if you are very wealthy you may be suspicious that everyone is after your money and that nobody really likes you as a person.

The point is, you can fixate on just about anything and believe it’s the reason you do not have friends and cannot make any.

Here is an easy way to remind yourself of what your good qualities are: write down a list of your good qualities and review it often. Don’t just think in your mind about what your good qualities might be, actually make the effort to write the list. The act of writing helps to reinforce the strength of the ideas in your mind. Don’t be embarrassed to give yourself credit for your good points. If you don’t have any idea what your good points might be, you might want to ask some of the people you know.

When you compile your list of good qualities, be as generous in your praise as your best friend in the whole wide world would be! If you don’t have any best friends yet, imagine in your mind a wise and loving friend who knows you truly and appreciates you. What would that person say are your good points?

Here are some ideas that might be applicable to you. Feel free to adjust this list for yourself and add to it.

My good qualities are:

· I’m kind

· I never gossip

· I go out of my way to help others

· I’m good with numbers

· I have a calm disposition

· I know a lot about sports

You can keep your list with you and read it over every day. Add to it whenever you think of new good qualities you discover in yourself. Be alert for compliments that other people give you. The positive qualities that others see in you can go on your list as well.

When you are out there meeting people, frequently remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities you have. It’s only a matter of time before you meet other people who will appreciate them too!

Learn to relax. Instead of berating yourself for some perceived shortcoming, concentrate on the good qualities you have to offer. Realize that there is an audience for your particular combination of gifts, and go looking for those people who will appreciate them.

This article is an excerpt from the new downloadable book by Royane Real titled “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends” available at http://www.royanereal.com

Happy Talk and 3 Simple Secrets to Happiness

Posted by admin on 10/30/2011 None comments

What is the one thing you want more than anything else for the people you love the most? If you had a magic wand what would you grant your family and friends? What is it that everyone wants?

To be happy!

How can you make other people happy until you are happy? How can you be happy?

Lester Levenson, creator of The Sedona Method, discovered the key to happiness. He searched for 47 years and nearly died in the process but he did find it. Do you want to know what it is?

Lester had a breakthrough after much soul searching and found out how to be happy only after reviewing his entire life. He spotted a common pattern, one that was present in every happy moment.

Whenever he was feeling love towards another person he felt happy. And whenever he felt any other feeling he was not happy.

Test this principle for yourself. Think of a time when you were blissfully happy. Did you feel loving at that time? This works for me every time. Is this easy or what? Simply amazing!

If this sounds too simple to work I know that you have not tested it for yourself. Turning on a light bulb is easy too only because someone else figured it out!

Now it is time for Happy Talk or how to talk in a way that makes your family and friends happy…

1. Be Happy Yourself

Spend twenty minutes asking yourself:

  • who do I love most in my life?

  • what do I love most about myself?

  • what things do I love most

    in my life?

After doing this exercise you will feel much happier. And you will have done it without having to spend any money on expensive clothes, cars or holidays!

2. Spread the happiness

Now that you feel happy you will radiate this to whoever you spend time with. Happiness is infectious. Just be yourself and top up the happiness by quietly asking yourself the above three questions when you are in company.

3. Show your friends and family how to be happy

Depending on how well you know your friends you may want to approach this step in one of two ways.

If you want to play it safe ask your friend to talk about times when she was happy. Let her talk and just listen as she relives those wonderful times from the past.

Share your own favorite moments too. Enjoy yourself!

If the people you are with are more open to the ideas we are discussing here take them through the steps I covered above in section one. Ask them these questions:

  • who do you love most in my life?

  • what do you love most about myself?

  • what things do you love most in my life?

The Dalai Lama teaches that the purpose of life is to be happy. Go on and live a life of purpose with your family and friends!

About The Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

Fear, Instinct, and Intuition

Posted by admin on 10/29/2011 None comments

Fear transferred through ancestral knowledge forms the basis of instinct. Predatory animals for instance are imprinted upon the collective memory as creatures to fear; we instinctually know to avoid these creatures without ever having been harmed by one. Fear in its purest form is developed through experience. We learn quickly to fear that which is perceived, whether real or imagined, as a threat to our existence. The fight or flight response is an instinctual survival mechanism.

Intuition is an automatic function of perception. Intuition is the instantaneous and holistic perception of the environment. The five senses collect information, the mechanism of intuition filters all information gathered and zeros in on subtle cues provided by physical awareness. The process of intuitive thinking takes place beyond the scope of the conscious or sub-conscious. Intuitive filtering occurs in the ancestral brain, the primordial mind.

Without the primordial mind filtering subtle cues from extraneous perception mankind would not have lasted long among the wild beasts. Indeed intuition is directly connected to our survival as a species. Prior to the complex mental development necessary for language, the communication of danger signals would have been performed in large part with hand gestures and short, load verbal exchanges.

The primordial mind relied completely on intuition. Existence at the earliest stages of our development would have consisted of states of alert rest or periods of flight from danger. Intuition would account for all environmental perception. There would have been no objective or subjective analysis of sensory perceptions as exists today. To stop and analyze perceptions would have invited certain death.

Perception consisted of “danger – run” or “no danger – continue life”. These two basic states of perception form the base of all intuitive thought processes.

Instincts are a product of both experience and intuition. Whereas intuition is a continual process of environmental information filtering, instincts are the resulting beliefs created by the data processed by intuitive functions. We instinctually know from experience, for instance, to seek shelter during harsh weather. Experience has taught us basic methods or instincts of survival. Intuition on the other hand may offer information beyond the core instinctual responses. We may be guided to the closest shelter or choose one form of shelter over the other based on knowledge offered by the intuitive senses, for example.

Sensations of fear, instinct and intuition blend to create what is widely known as intuitive knowledge or psychic ability. These three sensations, while related, contribute separately to the whole of psychic or intuitive perception. And while separate, they share a common ancestry; one of a primordial mind existing in state of constant connectedness and reaction to the environment.

About the Author:

Author, Syndicated Columnist and Thought Energy Consultant Jeffry R. Palmer Ph.D. is the author of “The 7 Day Psychic Development Course”. An exciting, fun and highly effective method of increasing intuitive and psychic abilities.

“The 7 Day Psychic Development Course”http://the-psychic-detective.com/Seven-Day-Psychic-Development-Course.htm

Mr. Palmer’s articles and columns have been featured in several popular international magazines. A lifelong interest in spirituality, metaphysical, paranormal and esoteric studies has culminated in a series of new e-books by the author available now at:

http://the-psychic-detective.com

Getting More Clients: Release the Struggle and Start Attracting

Posted by admin on 10/28/2011 None comments

Having been a business coach for more that 10 years, I often hear my clients say things like, “Why does this have to be a Struggle?” or “I’m feeling desperate, I need more clients.”

They try the right marketing approaches, they manage their time and it looks like they are doing everything they can. However most business owners are missing the key ingredient: The LawOf Attraction.

In this article, Part I, I will give an overview of the Law of Attraction and how it can make all the difference in your success or failure. In future articles, I’ll go into more detail on each step.

The Five Steps of the Law of Attraction:

Be aware of what you don’t want. Believe it or not, it is essential that we all know what we don’t want. Why? Because it helps us identify what we do want. What don’t you want in your life? Make a list and write it down.

Be aware of what you do want. So after making your list of don’t wants, go back to each item. Write next to it a list of you do want. It’s helpful to take one page and divide it into 2 columns, the left column is “Don’t wants” and the right column is “Do wants” After you have your “Do Wants”, just scratch out your “Don’t wants”. That’s right, just scratchthem out. If you really want to get rid of them, burn them,both in your mind and literally.

So what do you want in your life and/or your business? If you’re like most of my clients you list of ” Do Wants”, reads something like this: I want an abundance of clients, I want a full bank account , I

want a 6 figure income”, and so on. Please be detailed in your list of your “Do Wants”.


• Clear your beliefs. What does that mean? It simply means to do a little soul searching and find the self-limiting beliefs that get in the way of your success. Here are beliefs I often hear:

• “I don’t have what it takes”

• “I’m not smart enough”

• “I’m afraid of failing”

• “I can’t find any joy in my work”

• “If I succeed, I’ll have to give up my family life”

What are your Self-Limiting Beliefs?


Here’s the crucial thing to know, even if you are doing all the right marketing strategies, you would sabotage your success as long as these beliefs are hidden away in your consciousness or unconsciousness. What are your self-limiting beliefs? Write them down.

Feel what it feels like to have your ideal professional life. Simply put, when you “act as if”, you send an energy out to the universe that magnetizes the results to you that you want. I will elabortate in detail on future articles.

The last step is the most understood. It’s called “Allow”.

In other words, allow your desires to come to you.What does allow mean? It means to suspend doubt and assume that what you want is on the way.

This is only the overview of the steps. I hope I have whetted your appetite to know more. Practiced correctly, the Law of Attraction is your best Ally on your path to success.

By Maya Bailey, Ph.D

For more information on building your business and creating success in an easier way, visit my website: http://www.90daystomoreclients.com Please click on the first button for a Free Audio Mentoring Session, “Seven strategies to more clients in 90 days.”

Hows YOUR Productivity?

Posted by admin on 10/28/2011 None comments

Microsoft wanted to know how individuals around the world were faring with their productivity. Microsoft seems the logical group to be asking this question since productivity generally follows technology. So from September, 2004 through January, 2005 they ran a survey called the ‘Personal Productivity Challenge’ or PPC.

The response was phenomenal. 38,000 people in over 200 countries rated their individual productivity by responding to 18 statements about work-related practices. Here are some of the results:

- Of the people who work an average of 45 hours a week, they consider 17 of those hours to be unproductive.

- The average number of emails received daily: 49.

- Workers spend 5.6 hours per week in meetings. 69% feel the meetings aren’t productive.

- Most common productivity pitfalls: ineffective meetings (46%), lack of team communication (36%) and procrastination (37%).

Dr. Larry Baker of Atlanta developed the survey and his statement is right on the mark. “In my three decades of studying what makes workers productive, I’ve found that most crucial skills are the ability to efficiently communicate across all kinds of boundaries, share important documents and manage the increasing volumes of information.”

Now remember that 95% of information is still found on paper.

Searching for information still comes down to the productivity level of the

individual and his/her:

1) Skills: Have they assessed their level of need?

2) Training: “42% of executives worldwide feel improving workers skills and knowledge increases productivity.” (Watson Wyatt)

3) Application: Do they receive support and feedback on their progress?

4) Tools: Using them instead of relying on them: There is no magic bullet.

5) Managing outcomes: Which tends to manage everything else.

If you want to increase productivity in your organization, start at the individual level NOW because when it comes to productivity, procrastination is not your friend.

(c) Cynthia Kyriazis

Cynthia Kyriazis is a Professional Organizer, trainer, consultant, speaker, coach and author with over 20 years management experience in multi-unit corporations. She is President of Organize it, Inc., an organizational consulting firm serving Fortune 500 clients since 1995. Cynthia has worked with over 150 companies and hundreds of professionals to help improve performance in the areas of time, information, space and electronic file management.

Cynthia has appeared in the Philadelphia Inquirer, Kansas City Star and the Legal Intelligencer. She currently serves as Secretary on the Board of Directors for the National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO), member of the National Speakers Association (NSA), member of International Society for Performance Improvement – Kansas City chapter (ISPI-KC) and consultant to the American Coaching Association.

Are You Ready?

Posted by admin on 10/28/2011 None comments

To make any real and lasting improvement in your life, you have to be ready for it. Meaning, you are ready to take on challenges, make mental shifts, make a solid commitment to yourself and take action. Now, ask yourself, am I ready? Because without the above mentioned essential elements you may not experience all the joy, fulfillment and happiness that improving your life has to offer. To see if you are ready, answer Yes/No to the following questions:

1. I feel “Now” is the right time for me to see improvement in my life.

2. I am fully able, willing and ready to learn and grow, and do the work it takes to make the changes that I want to see.

3. I am willing to see and tell the truth.

4. I am willing to raise my personal standards, and to set and achieve much bigger goals.

5. I realize I am responsible for my own future.

If you have answered mostly ‘Yes’ to the above, then we believe that you are ready to start improving your life. The next step for you would be to identify what improvement you want to make first. What is the first thing you want to change for the better? For example,

• Balance

• Relationships

• Money

• Career

• Energy

• Time… or what else?

If, on the other hand, you don’t feel ready, that’s okay. There are times in life that we don’t feel ready. But, if you really want to make improvements, then think about what needs to happen in order for you to be ready. All you need to do is take one step at a time.

Take Action!

Whether you are ready or

not, the key to improving your life is to take action. Every action you take will be rewarded with important information about what works for you. If you don’t take action then you will never learn anything new. Even if your action doesn’t work, at least you will have learned that it doesn’t, but you won’t know until you try. Now you can take your newly found wisdom and use it to move forward.

Watch Out!

Don’t get caught up with just talking about what you want to do or what you want to improve. Often we never get to ‘DO’ anything about our situations because we spend our time complaining about it with friends instead of creating a good action plan and carrying it out. Remember, just talking about it will not get you anywhere. True life improvement lies in taking action.

Next Step…?

So how can you take effective action? The secret is in how you set your goals. See my article on effective goal setting also in the archives.

Alexandra Watson has helped countless women create happy and fulfilling lives through her happiness system. She has developed a fool-proof, easy-to-follow seven step system to happiness that any woman can use and see results fast. John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus calls Alexandra’s book The Happiness System for Women ‘a vibrant and exciting journey to the centre of your soul’. Alexandra has featured internationally on TV, radio and in many publications. She can be contacted by email on: HappinessAuthor@aol.com or visit her website at http://www.AlexandraWatson.com

Do You Have The Time?

Posted by admin on 10/27/2011 None comments

Show me, O Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. Psalms 39:4.

The amount of time we have on this planet is brief. The longest life is but a short drama. Man appears on the stage of life, acts out a few scenes, takes his final bow, and is seen no more. All we have is that short interval between birth and death.

Each day of our life should, therefore, be an important and meaningful period of worthwhile life activities. We do not have the time for pettiness and trivialities or a lot of foolishness because in the midst of our wasting time in trivia, Mother Nature goes on about her business. Our clay houses fall to pieces, but the sun goes right on shining. A man’s body disintegrates, but the moon continues to glow, the birds keep on singing, God’s universe keeps on moving, and Father Time keeps on ticking. As we go about fussing and fighting, sneaking and hiding, slipping and sliding, lying and cheating, the sand of death’s hourglass continues descending and the distance to the grave continues to shorten.

Time is not concerned with how you utilize it. It does not care whether you use it wisely or squander it ignorantly. It will just continue on about its business. Our lives are contingent on the will of a wise and holy God. As Governor of the universe, He decides the condition and tenure of our lives. God gives us all the time we need

to accomplish our mission and when our time is up, it is up. A second longer is unnecessary.

God wants us to appreciate the blessings of living and yet to always be cognizant of the realities of dying. The important thing is not longevity, but the content of your life. What are you doing with your time? Your life is too priceless and too fleeting to spend recklessly. Think about it.

MY DAY HAS PAST

My day has past,

It would not last.

But why did it go?

Destiny deemed it so.

I pleaded with my day,

But it refused to stay.

I thought I controlled time,

Soon learned it wasn’t mine.

How quickly my day went;

How unwisely was it spent.

Cannot get my day back,

It left no traceable track.

My day has past,

It went too fast.

So much I did not do,

Because I chose not to.

I could have set a goal,

Fought valiantly and bold

To accomplish some good thing

Before the dawn of spring.

Instead, I sat downcast

And let my day go past.

It gave me time aplenty,

But I did as has so many.

My day I so abused

By letting it pass unused.

Desire cannot bring it back,

Regrets cannot change the fact.

Opportunities no longer exist.

Chance, a faded mist.

Tears overflowing at last,

Because my day has past.

Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. http://www.clergyservices4u.org She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: A Grief Healing Workbook, will be available soon.

Law of Attraction has Me in a Spin-Feel So Fine

Posted by admin on 10/25/2011 None comments

Talking about feeling good is well and good when you’re feeling good. But how can you feel good when you feel bad? It’s a little bit like that couple who, as they were filing their divorce papers, were reminded of the vows they made on their wedding day promising to love each other in good times and bad. The answer always is, ‘But I didn’t know the bad times were going to be so bad!’

Preaching the feel good lesson to the person who is knee-deep in problems, is going to evince only one response. Change my situation and I’ll feel as happy as you want me to feel. But so long as my life is full of problems how can I feel anything but lousy.

Well, here’s the deal, according to Lynn Grabhorn. To start feeling better find out exactly why you’re feeling bad. What makes your heart pump with anxiety, keeps you awake at night, gives you that feeling of doom as you sit at your office desk going through the routine of your daily work.

It might be that your problems are the usual ones – not enough money to pay the bills, credit card debt getting out of hand, car falling to pieces and you can’t afford to get a new one. As many problems as you have, try to isolate the one that really has you hopping. The one that you can’t shake off. The one that never leaves your consciousness.

Having chosen the most pressing problem of the moment, you must now decide not to think about it.

Easier said than done you’ll say, and keep right on thinking about it, because the reason you can’t stop thinking about it is that it is your biggest problem.

To change

your focus you need to ease yourself into not thinking about it. Keep on reassuring yourself that you don’t have to do anything about it. You don’t have to solve it. What you do need to do is to make yourself feel better. And you’ll start feeling better when you cease thinking about your problem.

In order to shake your mind loose, find a substitute good feeling for the bad feeling that you’re currently having. If the one thing that your mind won’t let go off is the mortgage payments you can’t make, having identified this, substitute a feel good thought which in this case could be how easily you’re making the payment, and how good that makes you feel.

Try to stay in that good feeling for as long as you can, but for at least sixteen seconds at a time. It’s more than likely that you will be constantly interrupted by gloom and doom. Don’t panic. Ask yourself what’s causing you this discomfort and then substitute a warm feeling of everything is fine. Don’t just think ‘I’m making the mortgage payments easily,’ but rather allow yourself to feel the pleasure of being in that situation of making your payments.

According to Lynn Grabhorn, our feelings have created what we currently have, and our situation will change with the change in our feelings.

As everyone will tell you, it’s impossible to find the right solution while your mind is exploding with anxiety. Once you allow yourself to feel good, inspired solution, as opposed to one generated by fear, will come to your rescue.

If anyone out there has information about the life and times of Lynn Grabhorn, please share it with Vlady by visiting her at her website http://www.vlady-celebrant.com.

Stress Management: 7 Universal Laws for Managing Change

Posted by admin on 10/25/2011 None comments

1. The Law of Stagnation

This is also known as first order change. First order change is a type of change where there really is no change.

How’s that again? Pretty foggy, huh?

Allow me to clear it up for you. Authors Waltzlawick, Weakland and Fisch, in their book “Change: Principles of Problem Formation and Problem Resolution” explain it this way:

“…A person having a nightmare can do many things in their dream – run, hide, fight, scream, jump off a cliff, etc. – but no change from any one of these behaviors to another would ever terminate the nightmare.”

In other words, you can have lots of action and moving around, without any real change taking place.

A good example from the relationship world is the belief that ending one relationship for another will change everything and make you happy. Not necessarily. Remember these profound words of wisdom, “Wherever you go, you take yourself with you.”

2. The Law of Transformation

This is also known as second order change. Again, according to the authors,

“The one way out of a dream involves a change from dreaming to waking. Waking, obviously, is no longer a part of the dream, but a change to a different state altogether.”

In other words, transformation, or put more simply, real change, involves movement from one state to another.

3. The Law of The Clutch

This is also known as the law of conscious attention. Several years ago, the clutch went out on my two year old car. I asked the mechanic why this would happen so soon and he asked me a few questions about how I drive. It turns out I was a champion clutch rider. If it was possible for me to have the clutch in, it was in.

What’s the point? Well, I

found myself having to pay conscious attention to something I had been doing, kind of unconsciously, for years – driving.

There are times in our life where we have to pay conscious and careful attention to what we are doing and thinking in order to get the changes we want.

4. The Law of Others

Whenever you set out to change someone else, you are doomed to frustration and failure. The only person we can change is ourselves, and that’s difficult enough sometimes.

5. The Law of Wet Diapers

The only person who always likes change is a wet baby. Sometimes change can be the last thing we want. At the same time, change is an inevitable part of our lives.

6. The Law of Waves

Like change, there are three ways to handle a wave: you can let it knock you down, you can survive it, or you can ride it and thrive. Only the wisest and most creative of people do the latter.

7. The Law of Kaleidoscopes

Remember the kaleidoscopes we played with as kids? You would look through the hole in the tube, turn the end of the tube and watch the colors change. Many times there would be a series of small shifts followed by a big shift in the picture.

That’s often how we change as well. We make a series of small shifts leading to big changes.

So if you find yourself frustrated by only being able to make small changes, remember, big changes can be just one more small shift away.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.