When you’re in love your eyes and your face light up. And so do four tiny portions of your brain. “Falling in love” is a brain condition!

Neurobiologists Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki of University College in London used fMRI brain scans to peer into the brains of college students in the throes of that crazed, “can’t-think-of-anything-else” stage of early romantic love.

When the subjects were shown photographs of their sweethearts, the fMRI images showed that four parts of their brains “lit up.”

The researchers compared the MRI images to brain scans taken from people in different emotional states, including sexual arousal, feelings of happiness and cocaine-induced euphoria. But the pattern for romantic love was unique.

Interestingly, looking at a picture of their loved one also reduced activity in three portions of the brain active when one is upset or depressed.

** Is Love Addictive?

When you fall in love your skin flushes, you breathe heavy, and your palms tend to sweat.

Why? Because your brain is experiencing a biochemical rush of dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine – all close chemical cousins to amphetamines.

But it’s easy to build up a tolerance to these stimulating biochemicals.

Then, as with any other tolerance, it takes more of the substance to get that special feeling of infatuation.

Some neuroscientists theorize that folks who jump from one new relationship to another are biochemically “hooked” on the intoxication of falling in love.

But interestingly, in the case of enduring romance, the presence of one’s partner stimulates the production of endorphins. Endorphins are the “feel good” biochemicals that also generate “runner’s high.” They are also natural pain-killers.

** The Biology of “Romance”

Recent research suggests that romantic attraction is actually a primitive, biologically-based drive just like hunger or thirst.

The biology of romance helps account for why we might travel cross-country for a single kiss, and plunge into hopeless despair if our beloved turns from us. It’s the drive for romance that enables us to focus on one particular person, although we often can’t explain why.

“What we’re seeing here is the biological drive to choose a mate … to focus on one person to the exclusion of all others,” claims Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University.

Research has proven that romantic attraction activates portions of the brain with high concentrations of receptors for dopamine, Fisher explains. And dopamine is the brain’s “chemical messenger” connected to states of euphoria, craving and

addiction.

Other scientific studies have linked high levels of dopamine (and a related agent — norepinephrine) to heightened attention and short-term memory, hyperactivity, sleeplessness and goal-oriented behavior.

Sound like love?

When they first fall in love, Fisher explains, couples often show the signs of surging dopamine: Increased energy, less need for sleep or food, and highly focused attention.

** The Psychology of Love

Poets and song writers have long claimed that the power of the biochemical state we call “romantic love” is enough to blind one’s judgment. And we all know how new lovers tend to idealize their partner — magnifying their virtues, and explaining away their flaws.

But although “love may be blind,” take hope!

Pamela Regan, a Cal State LA researcher, believes such “idealization” may be crucial to building a long-term relationship. “If you don’t sweep away the person’s flaws to some extent, you’re just as likely to end a relationship,” she claims.

“This at least gives you a chance,” Regan feels. “If you think of romantic attraction as a kind of drug that alters how you think, then in this case it’s allowing you to take some risks you wouldn’t otherwise take.”

Not a bad thing!

But if passionate romance is like a drug, as the MRI images suggest, then it’s bound to lose its kick. But perhaps viewing romance as a biologically based, drug-like state can at least provide some balm for a broken heart.

** Healthy Romanticizing

In a 1996 experiment, psychologists at the State University of New York at Buffalo followed a group of 121 dating couples. Every few months the couples answered questionnaires to determine how much they idealized their partner, and how well their relationship was doing.

The researchers discovered that the couples who idealized each other the most were closest one year later.

© 2004 All Rights Reserved

The author, Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler, is a doctor of psychology, pioneer brain/mind researcher, and former advisor to the Pentagon, a Presidential Commission, and numerous top executives and executive teams. The author of several books and hundreds of articles, she is also the co-founder of quantum-self.com, and the Creative Director of the Self Discovery Community. She can be reached at: drjill@quantum-self.com

Come visit the exciting Self Discovery Community. Discover the most interesting, unusual, stimulating and creative methods of self discovery on the web today! Free sizzling weekly ezine, and the web’s first Brain Gym ezone. http://www.quantum-self.com

Tiny Love Toys

Cartier Love Ring

Of all the people who know me, no one would say I am afflicted with worryitis. They may say other things about me, which may or may not be true, but that’s another story.

If you ask me, and nobody has, worry is just a waste of time that could be used more profitably. Every hour of worry takes away from an hour of happiness. There is absolutely no “rhyme or reason” to spend one moment worrying.

Actually, there is a little “rhyme,” (it sounds more like rap than anything else), but I assure you there is absolutely no reason for it.

A friend has a cute motto he likes to call to mind; “Why worry when you can pray,” which makes perfectly good sense. If we would spend time we would use to worry and pray, we would discover little to unduly concern us.

Very little in life causes me to agonize or be anxious. I have better use of my time than wasting it in such a useless employment carrying no benefits or retirement.

This has not always been the case with me. Once, and not too long ago, I worried about everything. You name it, and I’ve worried about. My worry list was longer than the list of promises of a politician running for re-election.

Then I worried about missing something I should be worrying about, which was my Waterloo, and you know what happens when you miss the loo.

This is not to say I don’t have a worry in the world. There is the war in Iraq; the economy; and trying to remember what my wife asked me to bring home from the store tonight. If I’m not careful, I could easily slip back into those gala days filled with worry.

That was then, this is now. A few years back someone introduced me to a marvelous strategy dealing with worry. Since then, my worrying time has been cut to a bare minimum. Because I’m the kind of person I am, I want to pass this scheme along to my friends: both of you.

I call the plan, “The Wednesday Worry Club.” I simply referred to it as the WWC.

Very simply, anything that comes my way in the category of worrying, is jotted down on a 3×5 card, which is then placed in a special box called, “The Wednesday Worry Club Box.” The item on the card is forgotten as I drop it into the box. Every Wednesday I open up the box and go through the cards.

The cards are color-coded for convenience. Red cards are for serious items; green cards are for financial worries; blue cards are for items not needing immediate attention; and yellow cards are for issues with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage (the bulk of cards in the box are yellow — but you didn’t hear it from me).

The effect

is simplifying my life and freeing up significant time previously occupied with worrying. I cannot tell you how this has enriched my life and I am anxious for you to experience the benefits of the WWC.

On Wednesday afternoon when I open the box, the cards fall into three categories.

One: Issues that are too late to do anything about. This is my favorite category. The theory being if you postpone anything long enough it will be too late to do anything about it. Many of the red cards fall into this area.

The interesting thing is, when the item is first put on the red card and placed in the box it seems to be extremely urgent, as though something needed to be done right away. However, placing it in the box and forgetting about it until Wednesday takes away the thorn of urgency.

Two: Issues that are no longer urgent, important, or needing any attention at all. This, too, is a favorite category. Too often a certain person in our house, (I’ll mention no names), insists that a thing needs immediate attention. However, some things postponed long enough take care of themselves.

Most issues, if left alone, will work themselves out without any outside help. And I consider myself outside help. The further outside, the more comfortable I feel.

Three: The final category, issues that can be postponed until next week. Many of these are green cards. As I go through the cards, regardless of their color, I try to postpone as many as I can.

There is a finesse in this aspect of the WWC. It takes a long time to develop expertise in the area of postponement.

The key to all of this, of course, is to carry about on your person at all times enough colored cards. It is a sad day when I run out of cards, usually the yellow cards.

Then a thought emerged in the back recesses of my mind. How many trees have been used to produce all these 3×5 cards I’ve been using. Immediately, I brought out a fresh red card and made a notation. I cannot wait until Wednesday to find out how this works out.

Of course, there is a better way than the WWC. David, that marvelous Shepherd Psalmist of the Lord wrote, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV.)

Instead of committing my anxious thoughts to cards, I could “Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.” (Psalms 37:5 KJV).

Recently, the WWC has given way to the WNPM (Wednesday Night Prayer Meeting).

Rev. James L. Snyder is an award winning author and popular columnist living in Ocala, FL with his wife Martha.

http://www.jamessnyderministries.comhttp://www.godspenman.com

I am often asked how I can live the way I do. Who pays me to be a real-life Merlin? It’s not as if you can open the paper and read a want Ad for such a position. I live an enchanted life because I created it that way. Using the principles taught to me by the fey and my own stubborn refusal do anything else. You can too…

“Enchantment doesn’t exist in wands and candles, it lives in your heart. Open your heart to the universe and magick will follow you wherever you go.”

So without further delay here’s how you can put a little enchantment into your day.

1. Give a surprise gift to someone you don’t know

Go on, be the source of abundance to someone completely and totally unrelated to you. Why unrelated? Because then you truly won’t expect anything in return and will give freely. It needn’t be expensive, a magazine, second hand book, an unopened can of beans will do. Wrap it in nice paper, put a bow on it and leave it in a public place for someone, anyone to collect. Walk away with a smile on your face all day.

2. Tell someone who’s imposing on you to sort it out for themselves

I love this one! This is a magnificent gift to yourself that truly keeps on giving. Your self-confidence and self-trust skyrockets, the other person gets the opportunity to be more resourceful and you’ve freed up at least a couple of minutes to spend however you wish. It’s not hard just say “I have other priorities right now. I’m sorry but I can’t help you with that.”

3. Tell God/Goddess/Guardian Angel/Guide off

Had a bad day? Then why not have an almighty rant about it and be done with it. Get an egg timer and give yourself exactly 2 minutes to just rant on about how upset you are about it. I always find a “Dear God, I’m p*****d” letter to be of extremely good value. But hey you can write to anyone you like. When you’re done delete that computer file, cut up the paper with a pair of scissors or otherwise destroy it and get on with being happy again.

4. Outsource your worrying

Worrying is time consuming, drains your energy and pulls you down. So why do it? Worrying about things doesn’t solve them it just makes you upset. The fey want you to know that they have a Magickal Worrying & Worse For Wear Department waiting, ready and able to take on your worries for you. They’ll personally collect them from you, take them to a quiet place and put their own little heads to worrying about and solving your problems. You can get on with enjoying your day.

5. Keep a pocketful of happiness

Keep a pocket book of things that make you smile. They could be pictures of things you like, jokes, letters from someone special or even just nice things you write to yourself. It doesn’t matter it is as long it makes you smile. Carry this item with you everywhere you go and whenever you feel out of sorts get out your pocketful of happiness and top up again.

6. Remember the gate

All things come to us when we truly desire them. But when they don’t come according to our schedule we tend to get upset and imagine they are not coming at all. The only true determinant of timing is how soon you can become aligned with what you are intending to create.

When the

gate to what you want appears closed you just have to wait…because it always opens.

7. Escape the crazy maze, one inch at a time

On average we spend around 80% of our time attending to needful things, must-do’s and other onerous tasks. All the while we wish we could be living a different life or getting on with being a Merlin. I hear you, I’ve been there. The way out of the crazy maze we call “normal life”is to take one step everyday towards the new life you intend for yourself. It doesn’t have to be a huge leap, or even a dash for the finish line. If our lives only currently permit an inch in the right direction today then that’s the step we take today! An inch out of the crazy maze today allows us to make a mile tomorrow.

8. Refuse to grow up

Did you know that when most people tell you to “grow up” what they are really saying is “I can’t handle your reality, come down and live in mine.” No thanks! Life doesn’t have to be and isn’t intended to be the incredibly intense and serious drama we turn it into. Yes be responsible for your life and your commitments but don’t lose your childlike ability to dream about and create enchantment.

Whatever enchantment you feel in your heart is there because the universe intends for you to live it. And if something as big and powerful as the universe wants to give it to you, who are you to deny it?

9. Don’t wrestle with dilemmas, they’re bigger than you

Your mind is an energy magnet. The more excited it gets the more energy it attracts, but what kind of energy is it attracting? Thoughts that make you feel anxious, uneasy and helpless attract big hairy monsters known as dilemmas. They’re bullies and they’ll beat you down every time. Thoughts that make you laugh, feel ecstatic and blush attract lovely muses that sing you to sleep at night and also just happen to carry dilemma repellant. When you’ve got a problem to solve watch your energy, is your mind attracting the muses or the dilemma’s? If it’s the latter you’d better call in the Magickal Worry & Worse For Wear Department so they can fed-ex you the perfect solution asap.

10. Get addicted to happiness

It’s sadly true that most of us for a great portion of our lives are addicted to negativity. For some reason we just don’t feel right unless there’s a major drama going on. Sure we can take happiness in small doses but too much and we start worrying about when it’s all going to end. And then sure enough something “bad” happens. But help is available, you can become addicted to happiness and all it takes is a willingness to experience a little more happiness every single day. Before long you’ll be able to tolerate happiness on a regular basis.

Start a happiness tolerance calendar to see how many days you can be happy without worrying about when it’s going to end. Then you can begin increasing your ability to receive more happiness.

Claire Hunt is a modern day Merlin, Merlin’s mentor and founder of the online Merlin community. To find out how you can become a real-life Merlin or live an enchanted life visit us at http://www.merlinsouls.com

For more great advice from the fey & fun Merlin practices get a FREE subscription to Lucid Dreams – the Merlin’s newsletter Subscribe now!

Hugs have a long and honorable tradition, going back to the day the caveman first squeezed his wife and discovered that no ketchup squeezed out. Since then, he found that his wife makes an awesome teddy bear, and he can always squeeze a rhinoceros when he wants ketchup for his hotdog (which gave him the necessary motivation to go hunting when his wife asked him to).

Hugs remain an important part of our daily happiness, but some cultures raise better huggers. For instance, North Americans exchange way too few hugs, depriving themselves of an abundant source of warmth and comfort.

So for a little motivation to increase your happiness, here are the top five reasons to hug somebody today:

1. Save on your heating bills (good

   for the environment, too!).

2. Keep your shnookums from eating that extra piece of double-fudge choco-blaster cake.

3. Hugging sure beats crying.

4. Love makes the world go ’round, hugs help you gather it in.

5. The warm glow of a good hug lasts for hours.

So go forth and hug somebody. No, not the parking lot attendant. It’s too cold this time of year for that. But hug someone who wants to be hugged, and see if you might just bump each of your happiness up a notch.

About The Author

This motivation first appeared in A Daily Dose of Happiness: http://thehappyguy.com/daily-happiness-free-ezine.html Get the best Daily Doses in a free ebook: http://www.thehappyguy.com/l/daily-motivation-inspiration.php, or visit David Leonhardt’s home page on happiness: http://www.thehappyguy.com.

Info@TheHappyGuy.com

Imagine humungous, bulbous, billowing alto-cumulus clouds building higher and higher in the sky. They are as black as tar at the bottom and snowy white at the top. It looks as if we’re in for a storm.

CRACK, rumble, rumble, rumble. Use your imagination folks. That’s thunder, not a malfunction of my keyboard.

My black and white Border Collie, Tip, catapults from her slumber, ears laid tight against her head, and she’s off, full tilt, as fast as her legs will take her. Where is she going? She doesn’t know. She’s scared and she is just running.

Does she have a safe place at home?

Absolutely. She has a nice dog house that she uses for protection from the rain, snow, and coyotes that venture too close to the yard. But when there is thunder, she runs blindly. She is an incredibly intelligent dog, but under these circumstances, the expression “as dumb as a sack of hoe handles” comes to mind.

You may be thinking, “Cute story but what does this have to do with me?”

Ponder this:

Does a similar reaction happen for you? Something happens in your life (the something rhymes with “it”), and you jump to reaction mode, as if on autopilot. You know what I’m talking about: angry outbursts, sarcasm, rudeness, aloofness, running away, or retreat. It doesn’t make logical sense, and it doesn’t get you the results you want, but you do it anyway. You are an intelligent human being, and yet, it still happens.

Why does this occur?

Let’s have a quick look at how the brain works – in dogs and in you.

Dog Noodle Notes (about Tip’s brain)

The intense sound of the thunder is a nerve message that goes to Tip’s brain. Her brain stem, the most primal part of her brain, receives the stimuli and determines that this loud sound could be a threat to her safety. A threat causes fear, and the brain stem instantaneously overrides all other brain systems and directs her body to do one of three things – fight, flight, or freeze. In Tip’s case, it’s flight.

Is she really in danger of losing life or limb? Not a chance, but her brain doesn’t know that.

If I am near Tip, and hear the thunder, there is a split second in which I can catch her attention, and encourage her to make a different choice – to go to the safety of her house. If I miss that chance, she’s gone.

People Noodle Notes (about your brain)

As a human, you have the same primal brain stem and it works exactly the same as Tip’s. When you are hurt or frightened (physically, emotionally, or mentally), a message goes to your brain stem, the threat is recognized, fear is created, and you move into the same mode – fight, flight, or freeze. You lash out at yourself or others physically or verbally, cry, pout, become argumentative or defensive. You run, or at least leave. You retreat to your own space, and are unable to do anything constructive. You do and say things that you

wish you hadn’t, and the consequences of your reactions, over time, can completely destroy your relationships.

I know this happens for you because the “fear” and “reaction mode” happens for me.

What is my reaction? Because of my personality style, I retreat, become aloof, and lose myself in my work. I become sarcastic and abrupt.

Am I this way to customers or friends? No way! I take it out on those closest to me – my wife Carol, my sons Jamie and Brad, or other family members, even though they may not have had anything to do with my fear.

Does it make logical sense?

Not at all, but it happens, unless I am aware of what is going on and make a different conscious choice.

Just like Tip, there is a split second in which I have the ability to let the message move past the brain stem to the cortex of my brain, which is the logical and spiritual part of my brain. The cortex processes the message, considers consequences, alternatives, feelings, and allows me to make a different choice for myself and others.

The same applies to you.

How can you benefit from this knowledge?

Here’s how.

4 Steps to Use Fears as Friends

These are basic, not necessarily simple:

1. Notice that feeling of fear, disappointment, discouragement, hurt, or anger. It may be: tenseness of muscles, heat, perspiration, scowling, tears, clenched fists, rapid heartbeat, and lack of focus. These are some cues to let you know that fear is present.

2. In that moment, STOP! Take a deep breath – or ten. This gives the stimulus enough time to be accepted by your rational cortex. Think about your reactive responses in the past to the same or similar experiences. Were you happy with the consequences and the effect on your relationships? Do you want that to happen again?

3. Wave your magic wand. What is the “best way” for this to turn out, and what actions can you take to achieve that desired outcome? Notice it says “actions you take,” not what someone else should do.

4. Choose and Act!!

You are a human. You have fears. They show themselves as: anger, defensiveness, frustration, or a need to be right. The reactions are not healthy for you or your relationships.

The truth is this: you are the captain of your ship! You are accountable for everything that happens in your life. You always have the power to make a choice – ALWAYS. And ultimately, not making a choice is still a choice.

Use the fears as friends and follow the steps above. You will notice a dramatic improvement in your self-esteem and self-confidence. Watch your personal and business relationships soar.

You know that relationships are vitally important. Treat them with care. Genuine happiness is impossible without them. Don’t be a “Thunder Dog!”

About the author: Dan Ohler is Thinkin’ Outside The Barn!

Dan writes and speaks internationally on relationships, happiness, and change. He helps you learn the secrets to create life-long delightful relationships and abounding success.

For FREE how-you-can-do-it-too articles, visit http://www.ThinkinOutsideTheBarn.com

1. Do not act in order to receive a payoff.

This is what is causing much of our discomfort as individuals and a society. As soon as you act with the purpose of receiving something, you have removed love from the act. The goal is to act as if all your needs are met, then all your thinking and behavior comes from a different perspective. You also find that you act more effectively to get those things that you truly want, because you are acting and thinking as if you already have them. The alternative is acting and thinking as if you don’t, and guess what, you don’t. The state of mind of having something creates it, not the other way around.

The place you see this most is in relationships. The more you need in relationships, the less you get. This is simply because you are saying that you are not whole until someone else meets those needs that can never be met. Often what happens is that you eventually get the opposite because you are trying to show yourself that you must look inside. Once again, in relationships you must look to be loving, respectful, and accepting, because this is saying that you have all these things to give. In the end these things will be overflowing from you. Remember if you want to have something, give it, because you must have it if you can give it.

Abundance is another area this concept plays a major role. The more you say you need and operate from a place of not having enough, the more that state of mind will be created physically. This is why the very wealthy can sometimes feel impoverished, and the very poor can sometimes feel wealthy. Remember that perception is everything and that your thinking, feelings, and actions come from those perceptions.

2. You are the only judge of your life and what you will judge in the last moment of your life, is how well you loved.

Believe it or not, you do not really care what you accomplish in your life. How much you acquire, and how successful you are will not mean a thing when you decide to leave your body. Imagine that you are all living your own movie. Each movie has different characters, a different plot, and a different setting, yet the goal for each conclusion is the same. The happy ever after ending for every movie, is that the main character loved well at least once in their life in spite of circumstances. You have probably noticed that people on their deathbed, do or say something loving, often out of character, before they go. This is because they are closer to their spirit and may finally realize that to love well was their goal. Imagine if you lived with that consciousness while you were healthy and had time. Everything else physical comes to an end when you die, but people can take your love with them long after you die.

3. You are perfect, were perfect, and always will be perfect.

To the degree that you believe this, is how much physical success you will have. The people who believe in themselves and their ability are the ones who have lasting success in their lives. Belief creates reality. Some people have success for fleeting periods of time, but it doesn’t last if their belief in themselves is dependent on what they do or what others think of them.

Belief in yourself is not like what you consider ego or arrogance. To truly believe in this perfection, you must also believe in the inherent perfection of all people and things. Remember how all things were created. Therefore you do not believe you are better than anyone, even though you may act better and have more success because you know the truth about yourself. You never have to judge or be right because you know that you cannot make anyone believe in themselves, though you can show them what it looks like. Your belief in the constant perfection of creation allows you to know that you are successful always because you cannot be anything else. Then what you choose to create will be a success and you know you can create anything.

4. You act based on what you know.

This sounds simple but is actually very profound. In order to act in a truly loving way, you must know what love really is. To be successful at anything, you need to know what success is. How many people are attempting to be successful in relationships, but don’t know what to do because they have never learned what a loving, successful relationship looks like. If you do not know what to do, you will do what you have learned, or try something that you think might work, sometimes getting lucky.

You cannot program a computer without knowing what actions you must perform. If you must learn things because it is so difficult to remember in your physical state, perseverance, patience, and belief in yourself come in handy. Sometimes you have housed yourself in a body which does not allow you to be successful at certain physical endeavors. This you do because you choose to limit yourself so that you can focus on your higher desire to succeed at something else. If you were physically capable of the other things, you may not choose to do the thing that you really want to accomplish on a spiritual level. Many handicapped people know this and don’t like it when people feel sorry for them. They may not know why they don’t like sympathy, but they know it feels wrong.Believe this. You have chosen the body conditions, and situations you experience. This is done on a spiritual level and for good reason. Your goal is to find out what you can do with it, not feel bad about what you cannot do.So if you want to run a marathon, but your legs don’t work, don’t focus on not running a marathon. Find out what you can do because you cannot run a marathon.

5. Fear is your biggest enemy, and can only be conquered by faith.

Fear tells you that to only love will not be enough. Fear and faith cannot coexist or control behavior together. One or the other has to take over. Believe it or not, which one takes over is your choice. This may not appear so, because many of you have developed a habit of acting on your fear. Remember that you can act with faith even though you are feeling fear. Which habit have you developed?This goes back to the role of emotions and how you have developed a script, so to speak, about which behaviors go with which emotions. When you say you are depressed, you are really labeling your set of behaviors and thoughts. A good experiment is to consciously act in a way that your feeling does not describe. For instance, if you are angry, try smiling and saying something nice. If depressed, exercise and tell someone what a beautiful day it is. Most importantly, if afraid, do the thing that you are afraid of if it is in your best interest (jumping off a building may not be included in this).

You may find that these strategies make you feel like a fraud, but they will show you that you can do whatever you choose in spite of what you are feeling, including loving. Remember to use the feeling as a message, but choose the behavior that most effectively and lovingly responds to the message. Knowing that you can choose gives you real power over your life.

I understood the concept of faith. To me it is a powerful word that literally leads to mental invincibility. I was really beginning to feel it in my life.

The next principle takes from the last and is perhaps the most difficult for all of you.

6. No action is involuntary, including your thoughts.

Many of you may have at least come to believe that this is true for overt behaviors, but still struggle with applying it to thoughts. The scope of this principle is out of most human conception. There is not even a body function that is completely involuntary, though the medical profession would like you to believe that they are. Most of you simply do not know the force that controls your so-called autonomic nervous system. Once you really learn where and how thoughts work, you will know this force.

Many of the things you say you are (shy, stupid, alcoholic, etc.), have (depression, diabetes, cancer, attention deficit disorder, etc.), or feel (sad,

angry, love, etc.), are actually verbs, not nouns. Whether you are doing a behavior, having a body function, or thinking, you are on some level doing something voluntarily. All of it, every event that happens in your life, and in your body, is a product of thought.

You are probably thinking that there is no way that you could voluntarily be doing cancer, but it does begin with a thought, and your body is completely controlled by thought. Do you ever wonder why you don’t die in dreams very often? Because if you really think you are dead, you are. After being diagnosed with cancer you have more thoughts about that, then more thoughts about your prognosis and course of disease. If you could examine a record of every thought you have ever had, conscious and unconscious, you could find the explanation of everything you experience in your life. We have talked about thought and belief before, but what is important is that you know what is having these thoughts and how you can be the decision maker about the thoughts you have.

When you are born, there is one source of thoughts, your soul, spirit, higher self, God, whatever you choose to call it. This source has all the ultimate truths. Over time (and not a very long time) another aspect of consciousness emerges, which you can call the learned self. This is like an observer who begins to notice that you are separate, have needs for physical survival, and can experience pain. This part continues to define itself through experience. It also defines everything and everyone around it. Within a short time, by about six years, this learned self has all but completely taken over, and is giving commands to your body and the universe by its constant thoughts. Once a thought or belief is established, it may never again be consciously verbalized in your mind again. You may call these echo thoughts because they are no longer conscious, but like an echo, they continue to fill every space available. These thoughts or beliefs are usually in the form of a conclusion and are the most constant, therefore most creative thoughts of all. They begin to operate behind the scenes very powerfully and without conscious attention.

Thought is the creative force of the universe, but it needs to have conviction and consistency to manifest in physical reality. Thought is like hammering a nail. Usually one hit will not put it all the way in. You must decide where you want it and hit it until it is all the way in so it can’t easily be pulled out. This is how the echo thoughts work. They continually hammer at the nail until it is very hard to get out. Unless they are recognized, even if you try to pull them out by replacing them with other thoughts, the echo thoughts will hammer themselves back in even if they are part way out.

This is why it is so difficult for you to change your life circumstances. You are not often aware of the echo thoughts which continually maintain the circumstances. Even if you do things to change the situation, you will find yourself in a similar one at some point if the echo thought does not change.How do you change an echo thought if it is out of awareness? Remember that everything in the universe is a manifestation of thought. If you are unsure what your echo thoughts are, there are two ways to find out. Both of these require guessing and detective work.

First, you could simply look at the circumstances throughout your life and ask what a person with this life might believe. Ask people close to you who know about your life, what they think you believe about yourself and the world. Most people will come up with similar guesses if they have some information about your situation and they are willing to be honest. This is simply working backwards from the manifested to the manifesting thought. Even if you doubt that these beliefs are present, remember that you have lost conscious awareness of them. Therefore act as if they are true based on the evidence in your life, and you will benefit anyway. If you do not challenge a belief, you will provide evidence for it in your life, period.

A second way to accomplish awareness of your echo thoughts is to look at the major messages you got from your parents, or whomever raised you. One or both parents taught you to make conclusions about yourself, the world, and other people, by their words, actions, or other more subtle means. You likely took these conclusions and accepted them as real guiding principles in your life. You wore them like glasses which you saw everything through, and they determined how you acted, thought, and reacted throughout your life. It is then inevitable that the consequences of these accumulated acts will give you what you have today.

Most important among the echo thoughts are the I am commands that are constantly working in your self-talk. These almost always come from the pre-adult years with evidence being provided throughout your teens and adulthood. Some of the more common commands you people are giving yourselves are… I am stupid… I am a quitter… I am worthless… I am a loser… I am weak and powerless… I am fat and ugly. You also make conclusions about the future: I will never be successful; I deserve to be punished and treated badly, My life sucks; I will never be happy; I always screw up; There are no decent men out there.

All of these have endless variations which may be more specific or more general. You were fortunate to discover these as your energy blockages or bumpers as you called them. Meditation and an honest inner enquiry can also give you the awareness you need.

Once you have this awareness, you can apply the sixth principle, that all thoughts and behaviors are voluntary. This is where you must be completely dedicated to find another echo thought and corresponding behaviors. This requires daily practice in all situations with conscious intent. This must take priority over all else for you to manifest these new things in your life. The hardest part is persevering until you see results. Remember that for many years you have burned the old ways in to the universal framework. The old thoughts have become like a template which will be used until another one is complete and more prominent.

7. Gratitude is the antidote for unhappiness.

This is perhaps the easiest yet most powerful truth. When there is gratitude their can be no other feeling than joy. There is always something to be grateful for even in the most dire of situations. You must find a way to focus on that which you have and are grateful for at all times. Even if you have to look at the fact that you are breathing because you can’t find anything else. Gratitude brings with it more things to be grateful for. The universe is waiting for you to be grateful so that it can give you more.

If you are dying, be grateful for your life. If someone you love is dying, be grateful for the time you had with them. If you are broke, be grateful for your health and other’s prosperity. If you are lonely, be grateful for the time with yourself. It is up to you to find and focus on gratitude. If you are envious of what someone else has, remember you are all one and be grateful for what they have.

In the end you have a choice to be grateful or not. If you choose not to, don’t expect to be happy for any great lengths of time. If you choose to be grateful because the sun comes up, you can be happy all the time in spite of your circumstances, and you can choose to change your circumstances without need because you are already grateful for what you have. If you want more, that is fine, but be grateful for what you have until you have more.

Finally, always be grateful that you know the truth about yourself and your connection to all things including God, for these things are everlasting.

This article was written in 2003 by Sean Harder, author of Earth Wisdom, and founder of WholeLifeGym; www.wholelifegym.com.

Sean has been a therapist and life coach for over 13 years. He is a published author and founder of WholeLifeGym.com which is the home of “The 10 Pillars of Health and Happiness” eBook.

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I just read an installment from another self-improvement course that states that celebrities are unhappy because they don’t have gratitude for what they have. I disagree.

Have you ever had a time when you were making a good living, lived in a nice place, drove a nice car, took trips, had everything you needed and more – and yet you were still unhappy?

It wasn’t that you were ungrateful for what you had, just something seemed wrong. You weren’t fulfilled, or some-thing, but you couldn’t quite figure out what the problem was? Maybe you’re in a situation like that now. You feel like you should be happy, who wouldn’t given all that you have, but you’re not.

It simply means that your life is out of balance. Something has been shoved under the rug and forgotten about. It might be spending quality time with family or friends, or even just by yourself. It might be that you’re not eating well enough to keep your body balanced. It might be that even though you make a good living, you don’t love what you do.

If you look at the life of a celebrity, you can understand why they would be so unhappy. Their lives are totally out of balance. They spend years on the road. They don’t have the time for important relationships and recreational time. They’re always under pressure to be the “star”.

Think about how you feel when you’ve put in a lot of hours at work and then have no energy left to give to your family. You don’t have the energy to eat a good meal or get the exercise you need in order to have more energy.

People are on the never-ending treadmill trying to get money. But money itself will not make you happy. Life is a delicate balance of relationships, emotions, desires, and responsibilities to others as well as to yourself.

What do you really need to live a balanced life?

A clean, safe, calm home to retreat to – your escape from the rest of the world where you can let your hair down and be yourself.

A healthy diet and exercise to stay fit, healthy, trim and full of energy.

Self-Care, whether it be reading, meditation, prayer, soaking in a hot tub, a new hairstyle, new clothes, you need to take care of your personal needs. It’s not selfish. It’s necessary. Remember

the old saying “If Momma’s not happy, then no one’s happy”? There’s a lot of truth in that.

Loving relationships. As much as some people swear they are happy being alone, we need human companionship to feel alive and part of the world.

Quality time with family and friends. Everyone thrives when you take the time to enjoy the important people in your life. Even if you’re a workaholic like me, make sure to set aside time everyday for important relationships. You think that if you do all the work now, you can make it up to them later when you’ve made it. Most of the time by the time you’ve made it, the important people in your life have left. It happens all the time.

A way to support all of the above. Yep, that’s where the money comes in. But it’s more than that. It has to be some-thing you like doing, or every workday will seem like a prison sentence.

Dreams and goals. Without something to strive for, something to live for, we end up in a tedious existence. We need something that keeps the fire going – no matter how old you are. How many people have you known who reached retirement only to spend the rest of their days in front of the television?

Faith. It takes many forms throughout your life. Faith in your God, faith in yourself, faith in your kids. You’ll find many times in your life when you just need to have faith that things will come out ok. Faith is what get us through the tough times. It has been proven in numerous studies that those who practice their religion live longer, healthier, and happier lives.

Whenever you feel discontent coming on, do some soul searching and find out what you’ve been ignoring. It may seem like a lot of work to tend to all this stuff. It’s just like the juggler. When you drop one of the balls, the rest come dropping down too. You need to pay attention to all of the balls. Instead of a balancing act, let’s call it a Juggling Act!

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The world is becoming obsessed with money and all things material. From the size of your house, the type of car and even where you travel on your holidays, some people are trying to go one better do their friends and family.

For me these people are quite sad. I have a friend who is similar to the people above, he is always thinking of money, always talking about money. How to earn it, how to spend it etc.He is part of a lottery syndicate, there are about fifty people in this syndicate. When he goes out on the Saturday evening, he always takes with him a piece of paper with the numbers on and a little pen. At around nine o’clock he phones his girlfriend and she tells him what the numbers are for that particular night. He then spends around twenty minutes checking the numbers, and then re-checking to see if he has any winning lines.

He then returns from the toilet area and is asked by other members of the group about how much he has

won/lost. He has yet to have any major win to this point, this does not deter him however and for the next hour, he will start a debate, asking different people how they would spend their winnings, if they ever won the lottery.

For me the two most important things in life are health and happiness. These are two things which money can not buy. A number of years ago, my father became very ill. He had to spend around five months in hospital and he was only fifty seven. I feared the worst, even though I was trying my hardest to think and stay positive. I remember thinking, if I could give those doctors everything I own in the world, it still would not help him.

Happiness is the same, at times I have had lots of cash in my back pocket, however have been quite depressed. At other times I have had next to no money and have been extremely happy.

Stephen Hill has a couple of websites at http://gain-confidence.co.uk and at http://www.stuttering-help.co.uk

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Nothing is working, what should I do? Have you ever had that unsettling thought? What happens when you wake up and nothing seems to be working in your life? There is no immediate crisis, but you feel “out-of-step.” Now, because you are a “doer”, you will begin to take a mental inventory of your relationships, job, family and personal life. You will be checking to see what has changed. What has caused the life that was fine yesterday, to look unappealing today? Your mind is racing, your pulse is rising and you begin to make a list. “This will solve the problem,” you tell yourself in between fits of scribbles. “If I take action, and do more, the noise in my mind will stop. If I make a list and then check off the items one by one, I will be satisfied. I will be happy.As a Life Coach, I am a great believer in taking action to move forward in life. In fact, I would say that action is one of the most powerful tools that human beings have to change their experience of life. Action is the root of progress. There is nothing more powerful than an intention rooted in a personal desire, combined with actions taken in line with that intention. However, there are times when action is not only a tool in our toolbox that we use to achieve our goals. Action becomes the goal in and of itself. In that case, we are not taking actions. Instead, actions are taking us where we don’t want to go. Too much action for the sake of “doing,” can result in fatigue and disillusionment.

The problem that we are having may not be in the realm of doing, the problem may be the microscope through which we view our lives. Are we focusing too closely on each detail? Perhaps the lens is a little dusty. Why does a life that once looked vibrant and colorful, become gray? Is there something wrong here, or, are our “doer” instincts robbing us of the simple neutrality and rejuvenation that could be found through surrender to these gray moments in life?

In general, “doer”s are not comfortable with a lot of gray in their lives. In fact, by our nature we may see gray as boring, static, listless and dull. We like to have a plan, a list of things to do and a well-worn appointment book. We have learned to thrive on the “doing” of life and get high on the accomplishment of our goals. Sure, we know how to throw out little pearls like “trust the process” and “smell the roses” but we’re not taking any chances. We’re hedging our bets by getting out there and making things happen through our ability to “do” “do” “do.”And, let’s face it, our ability to take action moves the human race along. It took a group of “doer”s to fight for Civil Rights and it will take even more “doer”s to solve the problems this world is facing now. But what happens when all we know is the realm of “doing” and then one day, “doing” stops working? We have become so used to the “doer” mode that we no longer remember that we have options. When faced with challenges or emptiness we forget that we can take a breath and a break. Or, if we do stop for even a moment, the stillness makes us anxious. We are afraid we will be stuck there forever. We “do” more. “Why do we not trust the process of life to help facilitate change?

If you ask for advice from a non-”doer”, they may suggest that you simply “be.” This sounds to the “doer” like such nonsense. They may be smiling at you and nodding in agreement, but inside they are incredulous. ‘How do I “be?” In fact, can’t I “do” a little something, while I “be?”’ How long does one have to “be” before getting back to the business of “doing?” This creates a kind of circular thinking that I have found to be ineffective and downright upsetting. After working with many clients who struggle with this dichotomy of “doing” and “being”, I have learned something. When they are in the gray zone, they can only see through the filter of “doing.” They need a reminder in language that a “doer”

can understand, that can help them out of the mucky “do.” For someone who is most comfortable in the realm of action, (even if it means spinning their wheels) “being,” is doing something. In fact, it’s probably one of the hardest skills the “doer” will ever learn. And, it is one of the most powerful skills if employed at the right time. And now, these are some ways that I help my “doer” clients to take a breath, and “be.”

1. Take an “Action Vacation”. Tell yourself that you are not going to work on your weight, your job, your relationship or your life for one whole week. When your mind wants you to work, work, work. You tell it that you are on an “Action Vacation” and that you will get back to it next week.

2. Tell one person how you are feeling. A spouse or friend is preferable, but I have found that waiters, bus drivers and car wash attendants all have the facility to listen. You may get many reactions. People are uncomfortable with discomfort and they may try to fix your problem. Their reaction doesn’t matter – what is important is that you express the feelings and don’t feel the need to explain why.

3. Take a walk. Somehow physical activity has a way of quieting the mind. I like to listen to music when I walk, because this allows me to shut out the incessant chatter of my “doer” brain, but complete silence may be your preference.

4. Take a long hot, bubbly bath. This is the oldest trick in the book, and it works.

5. Write down everything that is going on in your head – fears, anxieties, questions and thoughts. Read it over and over until it means nothing or until you are rolling around on the floor laughing at yourself.

6. Read a self-help book. Some people call them “shelf help,” because we buy them and leave them on the shelf. Go to your bookshelf and choose one. Or go to your local library and find something that makes you feel good when reading the book jacket.

7. Do something you never allow yourself to do. Watch T.V. in the middle of the day, skip your exercise class and have an ice cream. Take a nap with dirty dishes in the sink.

8. Visualize. Lay down in a quiet place and relax every muscle in your body one by one and then begin to create pictures in your head. Create what you intend to have in life. Maybe you want to visualize your own peace of mind or, perhaps you want to visualize turning your problem or issue over to a higher power. Visualizing is very powerful even if the images are not clear in your mind. There are some wonderful books about visualization that can take you step by step through the process of visualization. One of my favorites is “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain

9. Open a book of prayers, daily thoughts or meditations and read the page that you happen to find first. There are three books that I use for this purpose; Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach, A Course in Miracles and Illuminata by Marianne Williamson. Each approaches life from a different and profound perspective.

When you are not in the gray zone, add to this list and delete anything that doesn’t work for you. Over time you will create your own personal “doer’s guide to being.” When you begin to feel the impulse to look for solutions – things to “do”, tell your mind that you appreciate its input, but that you have chosen to “do” something else right now and let that voice fall away. Remember – it takes practice to shift from “doing” to “being” at will. But even a few moments of “being” will rejuvenate the “doer” in you.

Jamee Tenzer is a professional life coach who specializes in working with women who are committed to professional and personal success and fulfillment, in other words, “doer’s.” The foundation of her coaching practice is the belief that if we pursue the dreams that truly inspire us, we can have what we desire in life. Jamee operates from this perspective in her practice allowing her clients to create the life they envision. Her practical sensibility, professional background, and ability to motivate clients as they face obstacles, proves to be a powerful combination. For more information, please go to http://www.lifeworks4ucoaching.com or email her at tenzer@lifeworks4ucoaching.com

1 Timothy 6:3

3 If any man teach otherwise, and consent not to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness; 4 He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmising, 5 Perverse disputing of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself. 6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.

What does it take for man to find true happiness in the world that we live in? How can a person be content in this fast-paced, drive-thru society that we are a part of? For that matter, what does it mean to be content, or be in a state of contentment, and how does an individual arrive at the heels of contentment?

Year after year, the greed level of society is grows to disproportionate levels, especially within the western hemisphere. With the mindset of having bottomless pockets, and the ambition to strive neck and neck with the Jones’, Gonzalez’s and the Rockefellers’, Americans have unfortunately fallen into a pattern of life that has been built up on pedestals of self-pride, arrogance, greed and materialism.

Materialism has become a major headline, along with other sinful acts, such as sexual immorality, murder and violence. Materialism has sent the moral character and credibility of this great nation into a significant tail-spin towards the bottomless pit… hell. It is the spirit of pride, spear-headed by the spirit of Leviathan (Job 41), that has overtly corrupted and soiled this country to the point that secular society’s reprobate mindset cannot possibly understand the fact that this country was once built on biblical, Judeo-Christian principles and commandments of Almighty God.

The fact of the matter is that great gain does not come from the gain of material items. I believe Jesus Christ made it very plain and simple for us to understand when he mentioned the following:

Mark 8 36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

Men and women are in search for something that truly satisfies their hunger and emptiness. The unfortunate thing is that they are searching in the wrong places and for the wrong things, or people, to satisfy their thirst and hunger. Greed and covetousness is caused by the failure of a substance, person or any object that has been used to satisfy a craving in which the source is unidentifiable. And what do I mean by “unidentifiable source of craving?”

When we are born, we are brought into this world with discontent and hunger for something that will satisfy our cravings in life. What we don’t realize is that the emptiness and discontent that we feel as we stroll through life is a spiritual emptiness and discontent. The discontent is caused by the absence of a critical segment in our life in which will totally satisfy us. This segment is none other than the line of communication, or adapter to the heart of God.

The first thing that we must do is address the fact that there may be discontentment in our lives in which the remedy for it is not a new car, new clothes, a new mate, or a bucket of ice cream! We must realize that the source of discontentment in our lives is caused by the absence of the presence of God within our lives. It is through our relationship with God that true contentment and happiness begins to invade and inhabit our inner man. The only source of happiness and contentment is a direct line of communication with our Daddy God, Abba, Father, through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

God longs for us to see Him for who He really is, Divine treasure! It is the treasure chest of the Father that fulfills all of our needs, aspirations, desires and necessities. He loves us so much and He wants to share His heavenly stuff with us immediately! There’s an entire kingdom that God wants to pour directly into our spiritual bank accounts – a kingdom that will sustain us for eternity. There is literally a hole within our heart in which no other item of any shape will be able to fill, except for the outpouring of

love by our Daddy God. He wants to fill our vacancies with His Spirit. He wants to enter into deep dialog with us for eternity. He wants to be the friend like no other – a friend that will never leave us, no matter what the situation may be.

Philippians 4:10-13

10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. 12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Hebrews 13:5

5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

There is a mandate for us to learn how to be content. Contentment is a plateau of the Christian life that every believer must reach in order to be fulfilled spiritually, mentally and emotionally. The apostle Paul makes reference to the significance of being content in Philippians 4:11:

11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

Even the apostle Paul had to humble himself and learn how to be content, no matter the situation or circumstance, whether rich or poor, in sickness or health, in a state of authority or subjection, power or persecution. When Paul states in verse 13 that “he can do all things through Christ,” he was explaining to the Philippians that he has learned how to be all things to all people and adapt to different environments as necessary. This is the meaning of being content – to be satisfied and at peace no matter the situation or environment.

To be content, we must give God thanks and praise in everything that we do and in every circumstance that we are in. Abba, Father, is the main source for our contentment. No one on this earth is born into contentment. We are actually born into discontent because when we are brought into this world, we are immediately separated from the nurturing presence of God because of sin – not because of any sins that we have committed, of course, only being in the world for a short period of time after our birth! But it is the sin of our forefathers, going all the way back to the garden of Eden, in which we are bound to. Therefore, our connection and line of communication with God is severed at birth – this is a spiritual separation that parallels our physical separation from our mothers when the umbilical cord is cut.

John 14:6-8

6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. 7 “If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; and from now on you know Him and have seen Him.” 8 Philip said to Him, “Lord, show us the Father, and it is sufficient for us.”

To be shown the Father is what we must desire. Just to get a glimpse of His glory and majesty will be enough to make us content. As Philip states in John 14:8, that it would be sufficient for him and the disciples to be shown the Father by Jesus, so shall it be sufficient for believers and non-believers alike to be shown the path to the Father by Jesus Christ. For it is through Christ alone, and no other path, that we will be able to see the Father in all of His splendor and magnificence.

Let us make it a daily priority to be shown the Father. Let us seek Jesus, in order to be led to the Father. This will be sufficient for us. This will bring us contentment , and inevitably this will bring us happiness.

Maurice Perry is an up and coming author in the kingdom of God. He is currently writing his first two books on spiritual warfare in the urban community.

If you are interested in knowing more about this anointed young man of God, sign up for his Christian Newsletter today at http://www.todays-word.com/signup.html