Do you know how truly blessed you really are? I can hear you’re “yeah, buts” when you think about your answer to this question.

Yeah but, I don’t have any friends, yeah but, I am up to my ears in debt, yeah but, my mother is dying of cancer, yeah but, I’m so overweight, yeah but, my son is a drug addict, yeah but, yeah but, yeah but.

Do you know how truly blessed you are in spite of the yeah buts? There is not one person in this whole wide world who is immune to difficulty and challenges. It is a part of our human existence. It is incredibly easy to get caught up in what is wrong in our life instead of being in gratitude for all the blessings we have been given.

I am just as guilty of this. I am very impatient with life. I want what I want when I want it. The problem with this is I have trouble appreciating where I am and what I do have. I am too often thinking life is ok, but just wait until the time comes when I have this or that. Then my life will be great.

Guess what I realized? That “someday when” may never come. What a waste it would be to get to the end of my life and to never have fully seen the gifts, the blessings, the beauty and the love without this veil of “it’s not quite good enough yet” covering it all up.

Of course there are moments when I can be present and feel grateful, but they are too few and far between. Today I was reminded by a dear friend that life is in the here and now and when life throws us lemons, we need to make lemonade!

This friend is also a compassionate wife whose husband has been challenged by an illness that has recently forced him into a wheelchair. They had just returned from their first trip with the wheelchair. In her words, “It was so difficult to travel; the world is not very accessible. As time passes, we remember the wonderful things about the trip and less about the struggles. Traveling, like so many other things over the past two years, is changing for us. At home, he seems so able and life feels so full. In a different environment, it is clear just how much he’s lost. This opened up the wounds for us again, and we needed some time to grieve. Now we know that we need

to travel smarter, and there are trips that aren’t possible for us anymore. Life is full of losses, but also of gifts. We haven’t lost sight of how many gifts we’ve been given. I’m grateful for everyday together.”

It’s easy to forget we are not alone, we are all one. We are all faced with challenges at one time or another in our lives, but we are all on the same journey through life. We all basically have the same lessons. They are lessons of love, joy, forgiveness, and healing for our selves and others. At times, my challenges seem insignificant in comparison to others, and at other times they don’t, which is exactly why we need others. Other people serve as a mirror to our selves and our own life and help us learn. When we are unhappy because life doesn’t seem fair for one reason or another, by being in relation to others we get to be reminded that things aren’t so bad and also how great life can be.

After hearing from my friend, I am jolted back into present time and into appreciation and gratitude. I have my family, my health, my career. There is money coming in, food on the table, and wonderful friends to share stories and laughter with. I have people who love me and I them. I have choices and freedom and a connection with an infinite source of love-a higher power. And, I am fortunate enough to be able to have dreams of where I want to be in my life and the insight to keep it all in perspective.

There will always be someone in the world who is in more pain or less fortunate than we are. Send them blessings. There will always be others who seem to have it all and there are always going to be others who think you have it all. Send them blessings too and then remember, no matter what, we all have blessings and gifts in our life to be grateful for, we just have to sometimes be gently reminded.

Debra Betterly, Ph.D. is a Life Coach whose specialty is midlife mastery. This article is derived from her eNewsletter, “Second Acts”, a spirit-mind-body approach for women re-inventing the second half of life. Please visit http://www.amazingjourneycoach.com where you can receive her free eCourse, “Eight Steps to Creating Positive Life Changes in Midlife” http://www.amazingjourneycoach.com/eightsteps.html, subscribe to her free monthly eNewsletter, learn more about her “Midlife Mastery Club” membership along with other transformational programs.

If you don’t get the right diagnosis for your depression, you won’t get the right treatment. I have written many times about the importance of getting care for a serious mental illness, such as major depression, from a psychiatrist. Yet according to the Wall Street Journal over half of all antidepressant and antipsychotic prescriptions are written by general practioners or primary care physicians. This static has always confounded me. Psychiatrists are specially trained in diagnosing, assessing and treating mental illnesses. Psychiatrists are up-to-date on the latest drugs to treat specific mental illnesses, while primary care physicians are kept up-to-date on the latest drugs covering a broad range of illnesses.

In the once-a-decade report funded by the National Institutes of Health( June 2005), researchers found that one-quarter of Americans had a psychiatric disorder in the year prior to the survey, and 40% of them sought treatment, up from just 25% who sought treatment in the previous report a decade ago. What researchers said was particularly troubling was that, of those who did turn to traditional medicine, just 48% of those who went to psychiatrists got the “minimally adequate care,” while only 12% of those who went to general doctors did.

About half of people who seek help for a mental illness see a general doctor, not a specialist. The survey didn’t ask people why, but mental-health experts

say that people often turn first to a primary-care doctor for a variety of reasons, including a lack of qualified specialists in their vicinity, lack of insurance coverage for mental-health services or lack of confidence in someone other than their family physician.

In my opinion, if you don’t get the right diagnosis, you won’t get the right treatment. Patients suffering with a difficult mental illness must make an appointment with a qualified psychiatrist, to improve the probability of getting the correct treatment. There is a treatment just approved by the FDA for chronic or recurrent depression: vagus nerve stimulation-a ninety-minute out patient procedure.

This treatment completely changed my life. You can learn more about vagus nerve stimulation at http://wwww.VagusNerveStimulator.com

Charles Donovan was a patient in the FDA investigational trial of vagus nerve stimulation as a treatment for chronic or recurrent treatment-resistant depression. He was implanted with the vagus nerve stimulator in April of 2001. He chronicles his journey from the grips of depression thanks to vagus nerve stimulation therapy in his book:

Out of the Black Hole: The Patient’s Guide to Vagus Nerve Stimulation and Depression

The book was exhibited at the American Psychiatric Association’s Annual Meeting, May 21st-May 26th in Atlanta, GA. This was the largest gathering of psychiatrists in the world( 25,000 attendees). The book is available at Amazon.com and 24/7 at 1-888-VAGUS-88

Depression Homeopathy

Depression health encyclopedia.

Happy, sad, or indifferent? That is the choice.

Now I know that all of us cannot be happy 100% of the time. Life is just not like that. Events can occur that will make us sad in an instant. Examples are the death of a loved one, some senseless act of violence, losing your job or even a series of unrelated events that combine to make us feel we are being pummeled from all sides.

However, all those things aside, do you choose to be generally happy, or do you choose to be generally sad? For most of us that is pretty much what it boils down to – a choice.

Have you ever had one of those days when everything went wrong? Me too. Conversely, ever had one of those days where everything has gone wonderfully well? Yep, I’ve had them too!

A person who makes a choice to be happy can cope much better with the pressures of everyday life. So, why not make a decision to be happy? If you walk around perpetually miserable then that is what you will attract. Is that what you want? I didn’t think so.

When you open your eyes in the morning put on a smile. I don’t care if you think this is ridiculous, just do it. After a while it will become a habit.

When you look in the mirror, smile. When you greet others, smile.

Here are some other ideas you might like to think about:

I usually try to walk my talk as a business owner and live a fairly balanced life. However, despite my best attempts, life happens and blows my plans all out of whack. For me, this is especially pervasive during the winter months when I’m living my life between crazy holidays and days that have gotten colder with the daylight in short supply. I’m craving a vacation break right now but just simply don’t have the ability to schedule the week away at a beach resort at the moment. So, here’s my remedy for beating the mid-winter blues when chaos overtakes my life:

1. Take a mental health day (or half a day) and do something fun. Forcing yourself to leave your office and pampering yourself in some way will give you a brief reprieve. Need some pampering ideas? How about a massage or long soak in a tub or taking in a new movie or visiting a museum or a leisurely lunch in a nice restaurant? The key here is to engage in a relaxing, enjoyable activity that lets you escape from your daily task list.

2. Go to bed early one night or take an afternoon nap. Americans are the most sleep-deprived people of any nation on earth, and increased technological advances that are supposed to streamline our lives in reality only serve to keep us connected 24/7. I love the concept of an afternoon siesta, as happens in parts of Mexico, and think we all ought to incorporate more naps into our lives. Naps are a good thing..:)

3. Do it, delegate it, or dump it. Many times we hang onto tasks because of a feeling that no one can do it as well as we can. Get over that notion, and hire someone to do the things on your to-do list that you can’t get to or really don’t want to do. So, hire a cleaning service to get rid of the dust bunnies or a bookkeeper to update your financial records or a professional organizer to make sense of the nightmare junk bedroom. The feeling of completion that you’ll get after hiring out a yukky task feels euphoric.

4. Stay connected. I’m the world’s worst for going into hibernation during the winter months, just like the bears and the squirrels. Since I run my business from home, it’s only too easy to disconnect from others.

I make it a point to get more than my money’s worth out of my unlimited long distance plan and stay in touch with friends in other parts of the country. It’s the next best thing to a visit to their homes…:)

5. Read inspirational books or listen to upbeat music or to motivational CD’s. If you’re in a consulting-type service business, the month of December can be your slowest of the year. Instead of letting the lack of business drag you down, find and some autobiographies of inspirational business owners who overcame adversity to create their dream company. Pull out the CD’s of music that you love and play them and dance in your living room. Or, let Jack Canfield or Tony Robbins (or your motivational speaker of choice) pump you up with an inspirational message.

6. Get some exercise — preferably outdoors. Going outside to run or take a walk in the brisk 20 degree air isn’t something that I place on my list of favorite activities. However, I know that my body craves sunshine and even 20 minutes spent outside can brighten my day immeasurably. If the weather outside is frightful, join the mallwalkers early one morning at your local indoor mall, or take a walk or do a quick exercise routine with your favorite instructor-on-CD program. One of my favorites is Leslie Sansone’s Walk Away the Pounds, www.walkawaythepounds.com.

7. Ask for a pep talk. Sometimes us self-employed people can be our own worst enemies as we listen to our IBSC’s in our head (Itty Bitty Sh**ty Committee) that berate us for our shortcomings. Kick the ISBC’s to the curb, and ask a friend, spouse, colleague, or family member to “pump you up” when the going gets rough and to remind you how wonderful you really are!

The days between November – March can seem endless and dreary. Don’t let the winter doldrums overwhelm you! Try at least one of these activities on a weekly basis to pick up your spirits. Spring is just around the corner!

Copyright 2005 Donna Gunter

Online Business Coach Donna Gunter helps self-employed professionals make more profit in less time online. To sign up for more FREE tips like these and claim your FREE ebook, TurboCharge Your Productivity: 50 + Tools To Help You Automate Your Business and Make More Profit in Less Time Online!, visit her site at http://www.OnlineBizCoachingCompany.com .

Living skills are skills that help you to live your life better. Unfortunately, living skills are often not taught or emphasized in schools. Thus, most people acquire living skills from the “school of hard knocks” – through experiences in life.

There are many living skills. Two of the most important and useful skills are mindfulness and letting go.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is effective in noting the arising of our thoughts and in recognising the contents of our thoughts and beliefs. It is particularly useful in changing the self limiting beliefs we have that is preventing us from unlimited possibilities. Since changing these unconscious self limiting beliefs requires that we first identify them, mindfulness plays a crucial role in this identification process.

When we are mindful of the thoughts and beliefs in our mind, we can then work on replacing limiting beliefs with wholesome and life-enhancing ones.

How can we increase our mindfulness? We can do that through meditation.

Meditation, when done on a regular basis, increases our mindfulness and allow us to gradually peel away layers upon layers of negative mental and emotional imprints, and creating rooms for new positive and life-enhancing beliefs and imprints. This process is often compared to peeling the layers of an onion. Some compared it to tending a garden.

Another way for us to identify our self limiting beliefs is through the Option Method, which was created and introduced in New York City around 1970 by Bruce DiMarsico.

Bruce had studied psychology and philosophy. Years later, while working as a psychotherapist and human relations consultant, he developed the Option Method as a self-help tool for people to become happier in their everyday lives. Option Method uses a series of questions to help you identify and clarify what exactly is bothering you. The questions that follow then expose the belief behind your emotion or bad feeling. As the questions open the door to your heart, your true feelings will become evident.

Letting Go

The ability to let go complements mindfulness. Mindfulness allows us to be aware of our negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings. With the awareness and insights we can then let go of them.

Since we spend almost every waking hours seeking, acquiring, grasping and clinging on to things, we have the tendency to resist letting go. In fact, most people find it extremely difficult to let go of anything and

particularly of feelings and beliefs. This is because we have learned to identify our feelings and beliefs as ourselves. We think we are our feelings and beliefs. Thus we fight and struggle to keep these feelings and beliefs in an effort to preserve our SELF, regardless of whether they are useful or harmful to us.

One method of letting go is through mindfulness itself. When we are aware of our negative thoughts and feelings, which often hide in our subconscious mind, we can then decide to let them go. So mindfulness and letting go come hand-in-hand.

Another method of letting go unwanted feelings is to actually allow ourselves to feel the negative feelings, and then ask ourselves three important questions:

1. Could I let it go?

2. Would I let it go?

3. When?

The answer to the first question is always a “Yes”. We can always let go of anything, even long standing and major mental and emotional imprints.

The second question is more personal. “Would I let it go?” is intended to give yourself the permission to let it go. For some people, it may take a while to give a “Yes” answer to this question. It is perfectly alright. In fact, this step cannot be rushed so take your time. You need to convince yourself (and no one else) and when you are ready and willing, then say “yes” to it. In some cases, going through and completing the forgiveness process is essential to finally allow yourself to let go.

The last question, “When?” gives you a time frame. The best time is of course “NOW” but this again depends on whether you are mentally and emotionally ready to let go. It is perfectly alright to choose a time that is most appropriate for you.

This method that I have just described was created by Lester Levenson and is now called the Sedona Method.

Dr. Tim Ong is a medical doctor who runs his own thriving medical practice. In his free time, he enjoys giving public talks, teaching meditation and offering his service to hospice work in the community. He also has keen interest in self improvement, mind science and spirituality. Dr. Ong is the webmaster of MindScienceInfo.com and TheSelfImprovementSite.com. He is also giving away his personal collection of life transforming e-books at BookofTransformation.com

We all begin life traveling on the “road to happiness.” At some point during this journey we may come to realize we turned left when we meant to turn right; which sidetracks us and puts us on plan “D” instead of plan “A”. Life’s not exactly “unhappy” – it’s just not as fulfilling as we know it can be. We begin to feel as if life became” sabotaged” somewhere along the way. Now it’s time to regain control and get back on track. You just need to readjust the road map!

That said, you are at “choice point.” Maybe your choice is to continue what you’re doing. OK. Just don’t expect different results. Maybe your choice is to do something different to get different results. Once we set a direction in life, all our habits, behaviors, and choices either support or sabotage us in reaching that destination.

Let’s take a look at some choices that may be sabotaging your life and solutions that will support getting you back on track.

Sabotaging Choice #1 – Hit the floor running and don’t stop ‘til you drop. Fill your schedule to overflowing so that even taking a moment to catch your breath leaves you hyperventilating! #1 Supporting Choice – Follow the airplane rule, “put your oxygen mask on first.” Before you wake each morning, give yourself a moment to be still with yourself. Consciously take a few deep breaths. Visualize your day flowing smoothly and easily as you continue to consciously breathe. On today’s calendar, block out 15 minutes and write your name in “pen.” Set your cell phone alarm. When the time arrives, use it to sit and do nothing but consciously breathe. Doing this ensures that you put on your oxygen mask first.

#2 – Sabotaging Choice – Hang out with toxic people who criticize, judge and carry around all their emotional baggage. For added effect and drama, make sure you unpack these people often.#2 Supporting Choice – Find the “balcony people” of your life. The people who always have “the best seats in the house”- those who make sure to see things “from the top.” There is at least one person who sees the best in you. Make contact with them frequently. Let them cheer you on, inspire, motivate and support you. Begin to create your “team” of balcony people- your own cheering section! (Keep in mind these people are different from the “nosebleed section people.” – those who can’t see anything beyond the tips of their own noses and are committed to sabotaging anyone who attempts to get better seats than them.)

#3 Sabotaging Choice – Procrastinate! – Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow!? Let’s face it, if you let something go long enough, it may just disappear altogether and you’ll be “off the hook,” right?#3 Supporting Choice – Procrastination is a symptom of a deeper issue and instead of being “let off the hook,” you’re often left “hanging” your head in guilt. Why would you need to feel guilty? You don’t, but you probably have a fear of succeeding and guilt guards you from this fear. (And those guards have some pretty hefty armor, don’t they!?) Instead of lugging around all that heavy guilt, break free, connect with your “balcony people” and let them cheer you on to victory each and every time you follow through! Count all these victories and as they add up, let them empower you to take the next step to success.

#4 Sabotaging Choice – Hold onto the “right” attitude and make sure you’re never wrong. It

will keep you feeling like you’re in control.#4 Supporting Choice – It takes so much energy to be right all the time. Plus you really miss out on other ideas that can enhance your life. Learn to apologize. Learn to forgive. Learn to receive. Learn how to listen. (I could be wrong, but my guess is that there will be many treasures waiting for you when you give yourself permission to not always be right!)

#5 Sabotaging Choice – Fill your life with clutter, stuff and mountains of paperwork. Keep all the drawers empty and the tabletops full!#5 Supporting Choice – Clutter creates confusion. Confusion clogs your life’s energy flow, your ability to think clearly and to be creative. Clear your space. Begin small. Sometimes it helps to set an alarm for 15 minutes and begin. Take in small bites. As you clear the clutter, even a small corner, allow yourself to feel good. Exhale. Let that good feeling motivate you for another 15 minutes. You’ll be amazed at how quickly de-cluttering clears the mind.

#6 Sabotaging Choice – Ignore self-care. After all, your mind and body are only the mechanics that keep your life running. You put gas in your car and send it for six month tune-ups; why is extending the mileage on a heap of metal and glass more important than extending the mileage on your life’s journey?#6 Supporting Choice – Taking care of the “self” is a number 1 priority. It is important to remember all areas of self: mind, body and spirit. To begin, make one change in one area. For the body: eat a piece of fruit every day, drink a glass of water, and say one nice thing about yourself when you look in the mirror. For the mind: have an intellectually stimulating conversation with someone; read a book; watch a group of children discovering the world at a playground during your lunch break. For the spirit: sit quietly every day, subscribe to a daily inspiration, and share your gratitude daily. You’ll be amazed at how much more mileage you get with just a little self care.

#7 Sabotaging Choice – Expect perfection or “black and white” solutions for everything. – If it’s perfect, there’s no room for option or choice, which means you don’t have to deal with it!#7 Supporting Choice – There is no such thing as “perfect.” Perfect is a relative term. Striving to be perfect fits into the category of needing to be right. Redefine your standards. Consider the option of making gray the “new black” when it comes to savvy thinking!

In reality, each of us practice all 7 of these sabotaging behaviors, so you’re not alone. But you’re also not necessarily in the best of company, either. These alternate ways of thinking and problem solving solutions allow you to begin to make a shift in the way you live your life, make the right turn and get back on track. Choose one solution and begin to put it into practice. You can make a change to empower yourself; and you can ask for help in creating a new pattern. Be inspired this week to stop sabotaging your life and get back on the road to happiness.

Sharon Marquart is a gifted Certified Personal Coach, inspirational speaker and author. For more than 13 years she has shared with audiences large and small. Her coaching practice is Living at Yes. Sharon is committed to using Metaphysical and Spiritual Truths and applying them to everyday life. http://www.Livingatyes.com or Sharon@Livingatyes.com

Do you know what all happy and healthy marriages have in common? In every one of them you will find two people committed to making each other happy. You will find a man who cherishes his wife and puts her needs above his own, and you will find a wife who respects and trusts her man. We live in very selfish times. Pop-psychology messages are everywhere in the media encouraging us to love ourselves, do right by ourselves, and generally please ourselves first. If you really want a happy marriage, don’t buy into that type of self-centered thinking. Instead, try these 10 time-tested techniques and experience the happiness, peace, and tranquility of a healthy marriage.

1. Make time for each other. It’s so easy in our hyper-busy modern lifestyles to forget to set aside a little time to enjoy each other’s company. Start a weekly tradition of setting a date for the two of you to be together doing something you both enjoy. Keep it simple. Take a nice walk together. Sip coffee together in a cozy coffeehouse. Talk to each other, reminisce, and get to know each other again.

2. Take time off from each other. Give each other space and time to work on hobbies and personal interests. When you have an interesting project to work on, you will feel more fulfilled and you will be a more interesting person.

3. Make little romantic gestures. Remember to compliment your spouse. Leave a little love note for them to find once in awhile. Celebrate the day you first met. Send flowers for no particular reason. You should continuously make little deposits in your spouse’s emotional bank account. The return on your investment will be incredible.

4. Fight fair. Don’t argue in front of other people. Don’t insult each other or each other’s families. Never threaten divorce, and never go to bed angry. Let the little things go, and don’t make a big deal out of every disagreement. Before arguing, think; is this really going to matter in

the long run?

5. Take interest in what interests your spouse. Watch their favorite shows with them. Read their favorite book, so you can talk about it with them. Encourage them to develop their talents.

6. Listen to your spouse. Husbands, remember that women need to express their feelings. Be a good sport and just listen. Don’t interrupt, or get distracted. Empathize with her. Let her know that you can relate to what she’s feeling. Ladies, please remember that the kind of talk you might like to have with your husband does not come naturally to most men. Just be patient. It’s not a good idea to “unload” on him right when he comes home from work.

7. Accept your spouse for who they are. Practice total acceptance. Don’t hold your spouse to your expectations; you will only succeed at building resentment.

8. Express your commitment. In little ways, you can, and should, renew your vows to each other over and over. Your spouse will feel comfortable and secure knowing that you are truly committed to the marriage. True closeness will only happen when all doubt and insecurity is replaced by confidence in the relationship. Let your spouse know that you really are in it “till death do us part.”

9. Trust in each other. Don’t be suspicious. Don’t snoop through each other’s belongings. To help ensure the trust, be honest with your spouse in all things. Never keep secrets from each other, not even little ones.

10. Make it your aim to be your spouse’s best friend. Appreciate your spouse for who they are. Loosen up and have fun with each other. If you are practicing the steps above, you are on your way to being your spouse’s best friend – the ultimate relationship in marriage.

Slade Hartwell, Webmaster at http://www.ezromantic.com

http://www.ezromantic.com/home.html “> Romance Relationship Resources We offer tons of romance and relationship help such as: great articles, advice, love poems, book reviews, gift ideas, romantic travel guides, a relationships forum, and more.

People’s lives today are jam-packed with great projects, ideas, to-do lists, errands, things we should do, things we could do, duties and obligations. No surprise then, that many of us feelwe barely have time to do the things we have to do (or think we have to do), let alone spare time for fitting in anything extra.

Why do we insist on keeping ourselves so busy? We have trained ourselves to believe that to be busy improves our chances of success in this world. The “no pain, no gain” mentality. Also, our minds love to be active. For many high achieving types, taking “mental time out” is tantamount to laziness!

Being busy is not necessarily a bad thing – often we accomplish a lot in our busy lives. But when we get to a point where the level of activity is running our lives, it’s time to take some action! Ask yourself:

Why do I choose to take on all the things I do?

Do I really understand what is driving these choices?

What are the things I can’t do that I would like to, because I am too busy?- Enter the simplification process. It sounds deceptively easy but the reality is usually different. It’s hard to let go of things that you have invested time, money and emotions into.

I suggest people look at 3 areas:

Firstly, stop doing things – just stop

Pick 2 or 3 activities (like projects, committee memberships or DIY home activities) and

decide not to do them. That’s the first big step.

Second, examine all the great ideas you have in your head

The things you keep thinking about that take up mental space like:

- financial goals that have yet to come true

- becoming a size ten

- winning the lottery

You’ve done OK in your life without those things so far, and chances are that you’ll continue to survive. Give them up.

Third, reduce or eliminate your errands

These sneaky timewasters chew up a lot of physical and mental energy. If you haven’t’ done them, you are thinking about doing them, and once they are done, you often need to repeat them from month to month! With the technology around today, there are very few errands that need to take up time. Bill paying, shopping, buying presents – all these things can be done in a fraction of your time on the internet, or can be outsourced.

The reality is if we have nothing better to do, we’ll keep doing all those things we normally do – the things that keep us busy. Simplify your life and make time to find those better things to do. Guaranteed, you’ll enjoy it.

Megan Tough – published writer, coach, facilitator and speaker – works with people to create outstandingly satisfying and truly successful professional lives. Make more money – have more fun! To learn more and to sign up for more FREE tips and articles like these, visit http://www.megantough.com

How do you know if you are done with the past?

How do you know if there are still old wounds, hurts and/or resentments that are still festering beneath the surface?

The answer is twofold. First, if you keep repeating the same self-limiting or self-sabotaging behavior over and over, that could very well be an indicator of unfinished business.

Second, if you find yourself telling the same “they treated me so badly” stories from the past over and over, then that too could be an indicator. It would be of great benefit in any case to do an “unfinished business inventory”.

Go back over your life and identify any times in which you believe you were treated poorly, hurt, felt abandoned and /or abused.

Is there any emotional charge still remaining when you bring up those situations in your mind?

If so, then you most likely have some work to do to get complete.

And then what do you do next? Read on…

Write a letter to the person. This letter needs to have the emotions that you feel in it, so let it flow spontaneously without doing any censoring. Take as much time

as you need with it and you may want to leave it “open”, meaning that you write over the course of a week or two.

Then create a releasing ceremony in which you let go of these past hurts. I like to burn what I have written with some sage over an outside grill. Whatever your spiritual preference is, make you include that as you do this ceremony.

If you find that you have some additional feelings from the same incident come up later, just simply repeat the process as necessary.

Once you are free from the past you can more effectively step into the present and the future. Get complete and enjoy your life even more so!

Ken Donaldson has been based in Tampa Bay offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His REALationship Coaching programs empower people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships by building a powerful relationship with themselves first. Visit his website at http://www.REALationshipCoach.com for more information and sign-up his free e-program Illuminations and Sparks of Brilliance. Ken is also the author of the upcoming book Marry YourSelf First!

When we choose to move beyond the boundaries of the ego, we choose to step into a different world. We find ourselves above the matrix of conceived causality, alive on a unique plane of experience. Here, much to our amazement, everything happens by itself. Grace, or effortless effort, now define our actions.

Our egoic self is characterized by its neediness. Need arises as an urge to survive. It is, in fact, a pro-survival urge that emanates from the ego. The ego thrives on its own insecurities, finding substance through elaborating its own shadows.

Stepping beyond the ego is an act of recognition. What we are recognizing is that we are more than a person.

What, however, can be transcendent to our personhood? After all, this part of us appears to be all of us.

Life is what is transcendent to personhood, particularity, and isolation.

When we recognize that we are life, an embodiment of the life-force, a marvelous and eloquent expression of consciousness itself, then we transcend the ego. We discover ourselves to be more than our narrow view of ourselves. We find ourselves to be a numinous consciousness that uses a mind, animates a body, and assumes a socialized identity.

When we thus change our conditioned view of ourselves, stepping beyond our identification with our own limitedness and stepping away from our plethora of difficulties, we see that we are the force of life

itself seeking greater expansion through experiences.

This elusive concept, once grasped, creates a critical shift in our awareness.

When we acknowledge that we are more than a person, and that we are life in motion, we alter our goals to serve the greater life all around us. The instant becomes for us much more important than ruminating over our lived experience.

When we, as a life-force, as a unit of consciousness, seek to serve life-in-general, we need no longer concern ourselves with issues of survival or unfulfilled wants.

You see, our outflow of service toward all of life creates a reciprocal wave that takes care of our every need.

Those who have mastered this subtle self-transcendence will find themselves living in a whole new universe while still habituating the old, familiar one. Everything will be new and different. Serendipidity and synchronicity will happen all the time and quantum leaps in personal evolution will be a matter of course.

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Saleem Rana got his masters in psychotherapy from California Lutheran University, Thousand Oaks, Ca., 15 years ago and now resides in Denver, Colorado. His articles on the internet have inspired over ten thousand people from around the world. Discover how to create a remarkable life

Copyright 2005 Saleem Rana. Please feel free to pass thisarticle on to your friends, or use it in your ezine ornewsletter. It’s a shareware article.