Peer independence is arguably the least understood aspect of self confidence. Many people who are shy, or suffer from social anxiety, tell me that they lack confidence. However, their shyness or social anxiety is only one aspect of a constellation of qualities which combine to determine our confidence profile. Understanding peer independence helps many people to appreciate and build on their personal strengths.

Peer independence is the ability to ‘stick to your guns’ in the face of opposition or dissent from your peers. Some individuals have exceptionally high levels of peer independence, for which we should all be thankful. Peer independent people are the heroes in our society, the ones with moral courage who will stand up for truth and justice, regardless of fashion. Peer independence is a special, and relatively rare, aspect of self confidence.

As a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence, self esteem and stress management, I regularly work with people with low self esteem or who perceive themselves to be lacking in confidence. Low self esteem can have its roots in a variety of sources — accidents of upbringing, inherited disposition, recent misfortune. We are all vulnerable to this curse; just consider the way you feel immediately after receiving an insult. Low self esteem can affect anybody, with some of us more susceptible than others.

Yet when working with people who rate their own personal value quite poorly, who profess themselves utterly lacking in confidence, I often find that my clients

have normal or even above-average levels of peer independence. High levels of peer independence are typically seen in leaders. Think of top politicians and business leaders. For me, the ultimate peer independent person was Margaret Thatcher. Peer independent people are iconoclasts — they are not afraid to challenge convention.

When I find high levels of peer independence in a client I am always intrigued by the way their depressed self-image interacts with the honesty, integrity and refusal to compromise which are associated with peer independence. These are interesting people — frequently very caring, stubborn and somewhat misunderstood. The first step in helping such people to rebuild their confidence is to highlight their great strength. Because peer independence is a wonderful quality, and deserves to be understood. It can also be a social handicap; the peer independent person is rarely a flatterer or charmer.

All manner of people can be helped with their self esteem issues. I particularly love helping people who have high levels of peer independence, because the gains can be so impressive. A peer independent person with high self esteem is a force of nature — and a force for good. Society needs challengers, and a self confident, peer independent person can provide that constructive challenge.

Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence and self esteem. For further information relating to peer independence, and to assess your own peer independence and other confidence-related qualities, see http://www.confidenceclub.net/content/peerindependence.php

I just delivered a free speech. I am a great believer in free speech, but an even greater believer in paid speech. However, there are good reasons why someone like me would deliver free speeches. For instance, to support a charity or a cause I believe in. Or if the audience is full of people who hire speakers.

If you’ve ever spoken at a dinner or ran a workshop at a conference, you’ll wince when I mention the dreaded “token of appreciation” presented to the speaker. In your head you think, “Oh no, not another T-shirt.” I have my share of T-shirts, golf shirts, letter openers, books that do not interest me, sweets, ball caps, and pens. I don’t need any more.

Sigh. I suppose that’s the price of free speech.

Which brings me to my recent free speech, at the end of which I braced myself to face Dreaded Token. I was presented with a lovely gift bag brimming with colorful paper — the perfect camouflage to conceal Dreaded Token until he was ready to pounce. Mercifully, Madam Group President did not make me open the bag in front of everyone.

As I was preparing to leave, I sneaked a peak inside the bag. To my surprise, there was a candy jar with dozens of tiny plastic smiley faces glued to the lid. Around the lid were foam-rubber multi-colored letters that read “Happy Guy”. Wow! It was hand-made. Madam Group President took the time to craft a personal gift. How thoughtful. Dreaded Token, you have met your match. Meet Happy Jar.

If you have ever been a parent, valuing more the hand-made card your little daughter scribbles for you than any present she could buy, you know how I felt when I met Happy Jar. I can’t wait for my daughter to be old enough to draw so I can feel that way more often.

In life, little things really do count. You might be tempted to dismiss them, but they are the seeds that grow up into

the garden of your life. Not all little things are good, but yours can be … if you are willing to make a small effort. Madam Group President could have handed me a T-shirt or a ball cap or leftover fruit cake from last Christmas. (Yes, I was once presented with left-over fruitcake.) But she invested her effort instead and I have something wonderful to write about today.

You can make someone’s day just by making that same little effort. I sent an encouraging e-mail to lift a friend’s spirits today. It worked. Those carefully chosen words brought her mood right back up. I’m sure you can guess how great that made me feel, too.

When Carolyn Howard-Johnson, author of the epic This Is The Place raved to me about the writing in my book, I felt on top of the world. (It’s not the huge $75 royalty checks every three months that inspire authors to write.) She then raved to Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com and a dozen other book review web sites. Do I have to tell you how her little extra effort made me feel?

I know I am blessed to be surrounded by so many thoughtful people, but I also know that we reap what we sow. What are you sowing? Are you making the time to give a little extra to people around you? Are you sowing seeds of happiness in your garden of life?

With the right seeds and a little extra effort, you may find more Happy Jars in your life than Dreaded Tokens. And of course, let us not forget the magic words to keep those Happy Jars coming: “Thank you Madam Group President.”

David Leonhardt is The Happy Guy. He is a motivational speaker and author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness. Buy the book at Amazon.com.

About The Author

David Leonhardt is The Happy Guy, and author of Climb your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness.

Visit him at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com

David@TheHappyGuy.com

Women should not be afraid of or feel guilty about taking a leadership role–in their organization, in their community, in their own lives. What could you accomplish if you were leading your life instead of simply living your life?

1. Avoid the Imposter Factor: Fear that Others Will Find Out I’m Not Really a Leader

Ask others what they think of your leadership abilities. You’ll be surprised at the positive response! You use leadership skills every day—managing your work group, getting the kids to school on time, supporting your favorite charity. Believe that you are a leader—your friends and colleagues already know you are.

2. Get Rid of the Guilt: I Don’t Deserve to Be a Leader

Why not? Leaders aren’t an alien species sent down to show us the way. They are everyday people like you and me. Think about a leader in your life—not someone famous, just someone you know that you’d follow anywhere. Do you think they thought they were a great leader? Do you think they knew that you’d be using them as an example of great leadership? Of course not.

3. Stop Looking for Leaders Who Look Like You

It’s hard to strive for leadership when there are few examples that look like you. Katharine Graham saw no other women CEOs of Fortune 500 companies on her way to becoming the first. Madam C.J. Walker saw no other African-American women millionaires on her way to becoming the first. Sally Ride saw no other American women in space on her way to becoming the first. It certainly makes it more difficult to lead where no one like you has gone before, but it’s not impossible…

4. What’s So Special About You?

You don’t have to be special to be a leader. You just have to have a passion to change something— that you still haven’t made time to take that class you wanted to take; that your child’s school won’t have an art program next year; that women still don’t receive equal pay for equal work. The issue may be large or small—it’s the size of your passion that makes you a leader.

5. Realize that Leaders Don’t Have to Make Sacrifices

Not if you have the right support system (see #8, below). Real leaders integrate their passion for change into their lives. The only thing you may have to sacrifice is your toleration of others’ placing unreal or unfair demands on you.

6. It’s OK to Focus on Small Issues, Instead of High Ideals

Someone once told me that one of the strongest leaders she knew was working on her local Little League

board, trying to make the league run more efficiently and to inject more fun into the games. Leadership can be as big as moving a government to pass civil rights legislation; it can be as “small” as teaching a group of girls that they can be entrepreneurs if they choose to. As long as it’s a high ideal for you, you can take a leadership role in making it happen.

7. Think of Your Self

Leaders are not totally selfless—in most cases their passion for change grows because they are personally connected to the issue. The Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation is the leading organization funding research and treatment of pediatric AIDS. Elizabeth Glaser founded it after she discovered that she and her two children had become infected with HIV.

8. Asking for Help is OK

Oh really? Star athletes have coaches, elected officials have staff, great scientists have research assistants. Leaders cannot do what they do on their own; they know it’s OK to ask for help.

9. You Don’t Have to Influence the “Big” Stuff

If your passion is to change a small piece of your own world…go for it! Exercise your leadership muscle, and soon you’ll have influenced a whole range of small stuff, which will add up to something big.

10. You Don’t Have to Be Famous

I’m sure you can think of some great leaders that no one else has ever heard of—relatives, co-workers, teachers—people that you would follow anywhere. Great leadership doesn’t start with being famous; it starts with leading your self to the brink of change in that one area you’re passionate about. Then sticking with it to make that change happen!

About The Author

(c) 2004 Barbara Bellissimo. All rights reserved.

Barbara Bellissimo is on a mission to empower women to change their world. She works with business owners, executives, new graduates and women outside the workforce. Ms. Bellissimo works in partnership with her clients, supporting them to embrace their leadership qualities to design and create the life they truly want.

She’s conducted workshops and presentations for many audiences, been quoted in Forbes and The New York Times, and has appeared on National Public Radio.

Prior to starting her coaching practice, Ms. Bellissimo spent nearly twenty years in high-technology marketing and management, and as an entrepreneur. She received her BS degree in Economics from The Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania. She currently lives her dream life on Martha’s Vineyard with her family.

“Living your best life should make you happy, not become one more item on your to-do list…”

Visit Barbara online at http://www.seasonsofsuccess.com.

barbara@seasonsofsuccess.com

The assets of your business traditionally include property, plant, equipment, and your customer base. Progressive organizations understand that business assets also include their good reputation, responsiveness to change, the ability to conduct a constructive dialogue with stakeholders, the ability to take advantage of networked resources, and a host of other non-traditional assets. Companies are increasingly adopting socially responsible business practices based on sustainable development to ensure efficiency, stimulate innovation, and create top-line growth. This “new” approach to business must reach into every area of the organization to ensure that goals and objectives are in alignment with the mission. To begin the discovery process, ask yourself these questions:

Leadership

1. Is the organization managed with an emphasis on being socially progressive? Today’s progressive organization understands what it means to be socially responsible and how that contributes to the welfare of the organization. Leadership must prioritize values and initiatives and incorporate them into the agenda in a way that is in harmony with the overall objectives of the organization. At this point, this “new” agenda must be communicated so that all concerned can progress it forward.

2. Does the organization operate using a cost vs. benefit approach taking into consideration intrinsic and consequential costs/benefits? Some may think that emphasizing social responsibility will be a financial drain on the organization too great to overcome. If that were the case, there would be no case for this new approach to management. Costs must be weighed against benefits – not just obvious costs or benefits. Benefits include increased productivity, customer loyalty, innovation, and countless others.

3. Are the finances of the operation managed to ensure long-term prosperity for all concerned? Risk is inherent in the business world. A business must invest in itself and its future, evaluating the risk of experimentation and development. Without continuing investment the organization is sure to stagnate, with too much emphasis on growth and development there is an abundance of waste. The organization just can’t keep up. To establish long-term prosperity, the financial plan must emphasize growth in a sustainable way.

Branding

4. Are printed marketing materials and packaging designed to minimally impact the environment? This is a great way to get the process started. Evaluating how the company presents itself in the marketplace can provide immediate opportunities to progress the social responsibility agenda. Making appropriate modifications to packaging is a quick way to gain some exposure and momentum. The entire life cycle of production materials and packaging should be considered and designs modified to minimize the environmental impact.

5. How has product development served to foster innovation and take advantage of advanced technology? The progressive organization is continually improving its processes, systems, and designs. Competition is fast to respond, so there is no time to sit around and wait for the next move. The services or products produced must always be ready to evolve to the next level of usefulness. With an infrastructure that prioritizes creativity and innovation, the company is always ahead of the pack.

6. Does the organization strive to get to know and understand its customers and their needs? The socially responsible organization recognizes that it must contribute to the welfare of its customers and meet needs in a way that improves their lives. Sometimes this improvement is highly visible and other times you must stretch a bit to fully comprehend it. Either way, there should be identifiable positive results for customers choosing to make use of the organization’s products

or services.

Operations

7. Are individuals encouraged to increase competency and enhance their skill set to better serve the socially responsible organization? An organization’s people are one of its greatest assets. Each staff member has the potential to take the ordinary and make it extraordinary. From the front line to top management, the organization’s people must be encouraged to participate directly in strategic thinking and progressing the agenda. Staff should be encouraged and rewarded for pursuing professional development opportunities that make them more valuable and versatile.

8. What considerations were incorporated into the organization’s facilities to stimulate creativity? The work environment contributes positively or negatively to productivity and creativity. The organization’s people spend the majority of their waking hours in the workplace. There is a tremendous opportunity to use this time to stimulate the creative process and establish an environment that fosters harmonious interactions. From color schemes, to ergonomic furniture, or the use of advanced technology, the organization’s facilities should be given appropriate consideration.

9. How has technology been employed to bring the organization closer to its customers, suppliers, and internal resources? The world wide web has reduced our farthest neighbor to the “boy next door”. We have the ability to provide our customers, suppliers and internal concerns with access to information and a convenient method of communication that 10 years ago would not have been imagined. Customers and suppliers are literally a click away. By using technology wisely, we can provide them with the information they need to help us serve them better or vice versa.

Global Impact

10. Has the organization studied and demonstrated that it understands how it contributes to the global marketplace? Every organization contributes to the global marketplace in some way. There is a chain of influence that needs to be understood to fully embrace the importance of incorporating social responsibility initiatives into an organization’s mission. You can begin by tracing your product or service as it moves through its life cycle. As you begin to recognize how even a small change can accumulate and make a global difference, you will be inspired to take an intentional first step towards social responsibility.

The Top 10 Questions for Socially Responsible Leaders have been excerpted from a FREE Report “40 Questions for Socially Responsible Leaders” available at www.WholisticBusiness.com. At Wholistic Business, we believe that business literally makes the world go around. It will be business owners and managers that will ultimately change the world for the better. By incorporating a new set of values and priorities into what has proven to be a successful formula on many levels, we believe that business will be the platform for a new agenda – the Social Responsibility Agenda.

Regardless of the size of your business, you make a contribution to the global marketplace that impacts humanity with a rippling effect. As an organization’s leader, you choose whether that ripple will be felt positively or negatively. Even a small movement or change in a socially responsible direction can have a dramatic effect. Every day produces a new opportunity for change!

About The Author

Wholistic Business (http://www.WholisticBusiness.com), a division of MetaComm International, LLC, is committed to assisting organizations in developing socially responsible business practices with a keen eye on productivity and profitability. Gala Gorman, MetaComm’s CEO, holds a Master’s Degree in Human Development, is a certified public accountant, certified financial planner, published author, executive coach and business consultant with 25 years of experience. gala@metacommintl.com

My grandfather used to speak of the days when people drove the world. It was a time when people were proud to contribute and move society and industry forward at full steam. But, people were proud of themselves! However, before he died, one of his observations was that “we have come to mediocre times.”

I was a bit appalled at that statement because, to me, these times were the epitome of existence! However, over the years, I began to see what he meant. It is not so much that our advances are mediocre, but it is the state of humanity and society that has become mediocre in comparison. Yet, we don’t see it as such because we live in these times daily and have no real comparison.

In these times, people lose hope. While I agree that, many times, circumstances are to blame for a particular situation; however, we allow such circumstances to overpower us. We need to take control and decide which circumstances are to be allowed into our lives.

In today’s environment, there are only a handful of individuals that move the society forward and so many people simply follow. Perhaps the difficulties, stresses, and complications around us have turned many of us into “mediocre people” in extraordinary times. It depends on how you look at it all! But, indeed, this is not the case.

When all need

a hero, a hero is not to be found. That is when the best hero we can have is ourselves. That may sound arrogant, but who would you rather be like: a better you, or someone else who might be where you think you want to be, but may have myriad other problems with which you would have to contend. Deal with your own and become the better you!

We are all extraordinary and we all have something unique and phenomenal to contribute. However, we must learn to contribute to ourselves, first, and then consider the contribution to the world around you. It is how you see and feel about yourself that reflects upon and influences your environment and society. Turn inward and exalt the extraordinary you. Learn that the odd little nuances of life are there to strengthen you to create “extraordinary times.”

About The Author

Edward B. Toupin is an author, life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki Master, technical writer, and PhD Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among other things, he authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging from career success through life organization and fulfillment. Check out some of his recent print and electronic books as well as his articles covering various life-changing topics! For more information, e-mail Edward at etoupin@toupin.com or visit his site at http://www.make-life-great.com or http://www.toupin.com!

Copyright (c) 2004 Edward B. Toupin

etoupin@toupin.com

“…I know that the only source of happiness is within me, and I will begin to share it. Like a perfume, I know that I cannot pour it on others without getting a few drops on myself.” – Og Mandino, “The Choice”

“You cannot antagonize and influence at the same time.” – John Knox

The childhood chant “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me” is a lie.

Do you remember every time you fell from your bike as a child? How about every time you have hit your knee or elbow working around your house? Most people forget these incidents as soon as the physical pain subsides.

Do you remember some nickname that you hated as a child? Did your parents or teachers ever tell you something that made you feel inferior or weak? Do you remember any negative comments you have received on job performance reviews? If you are like most people, you remember these negative words long after the moment has passed.

Now consider the positive words you have received. Maybe, like me, they came from your family as a child. Maybe they came from a favorite teacher, coach, or mentor. Think for a moment about the impact these words have had on your life.

Positive or negative, words leave a mark. The mark is not on the surface where you can see it, but there is a mark.

Here’s a story to illustrate my point. As a child, my parents and I lived in North Carolina. Both sets of my grandparents lived in Texas. We visited Texas about twice a year. During these visits, we often split our time between the two families. I loved both dearly, but I always wanted to spend more time with one than with the other. Both sets loved me. Both treated me well. Both would do nearly anything for me. But there was one big difference. One grandmother called me “precious, angel, baby child” and “my wonderful, precious angel”. The other called me Guy. Which do you think was my favorite? You can probably guess where I wanted to spend my time.

I loved both of my grandmothers, but one became a greater influence on my life. Why? She constantly spoke words of encouragement to me and everyone else she met for that matter. In fact, she still does to this

day. She always tells me how wonderful I am, how much she loves me, and how proud she is of me. As an adult, I still look forward to speaking with her.

When my grandfather passed away, I spoke at his funeral. I did the best I could to pay tribute to one of the greatest men I have ever personally known. About six months later, my grandmother called again to tell me how wonderful my comments were and how smart and wise I am. I don’t really believe that I am the smartest person on the planet, but it sure feels good to have someone tell you that. After we spoke, I felt like a million bucks and believed that I could accomplish anything.

Would you like to have that influence on people? Would you like to inspire the people around you to work harder and accomplish more? You do hold that power. You have it when you use positive words – words of encouragement and praise. As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “Treat a man as he appears to be and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.”

Next to example, words are probably the most powerful tools leaders use. Words communicate your hopes, your dreams, your vision, your message, and your heart. Words show other people how you see them. As a leader, your words make a difference. Your words will either build-up or tear down, encourage or discourage, inspire or deflate. The choice is up to you.

I encourage you to remember this simple tip and spread some perfume of happiness around as you . . . Choose to become an encourager.

Copyright 2005, Guy Harris

You may use this article for electronic distribution if you will include all contact information with live links back to the author. Notification of use is not required, but I would appreciate it. Please contact the author prior to use in printed media.

Guy Harris is the Chief Relationship Officer with Principle Driven Consulting. He helps entrepreneurs, business managers, and other organizational leaders build trust, reduce conflict, and improve team performance. Learn more at http://www.principledriven.com

Guy co-authored “The Behavior Bucks System TM” to help parents reduce stress and conflict. Learn more about this book at http://www.behaviorbucks.com

A willingness to change first is one of the major pre requisites for leaders!

If the situation is deadlocked or blocked, they need to find the best opportunity, shift their personal perspective to accommodate it and take action from there. This is no matter how personally attached they are to their current position!

Three sixty degree feedback is a great example. The manager/leader is given feedback from their management, peers and reports; expected to take it on board, and integrate the necessary changes to become more effective within the team!

Sometimes the feedback is very concise and confrontive.

The program manual’s documentation on how to make change happen is almost non-existent. We are very poorly aware or educated about what to do here. Many leaders are left with a desire to change and no information on what to do to make it happen other than manipulate themselves, this is painful, energetically draining and not sincere.

So how do we do it?

By analogy it is based in energetic principles of physics and chemistry. When we take something that is negative and something that is positive and add them together they neutralize each other and we end up with something else instead.

In our personal lives we can see this in the break down of relationships especially with divorce: the strength of the original attraction becomes the force of the repulsion for the ex partner. If both the attraction and the repulsion were added together they would neutralize each other out and there would be no need for action, anger or pain.

In business, a recent senior client summarized their use of information as either a weapon or a gift. They were insightful, and presumed others were too, about a particular set of circumstances. When the other party seemed to be not getting the ‘common sense’ of it, they would use their information as a weapon to inflict harm. In their more patient moments, or more equal relationships they used information as a gift, to enable the other person to move forward freely.

Through our work this client took the energy they held for both issues, the weapons and the gifts, and added them together. What surprised them was the sense of the transformation and the moment of profound realization – their “ah ha!” about the difference.

These opposite and equal forces are called polarities. Love and fear are polarities of each other and represent two of the most potent forces for creation or destruction on the planet. We make tremendous efforts to keep them apart from each other to create results and to limit opportunities with our fiercely held unconscious assumptions!

The key here is that we need to work out what we love and what we fear that are equal and opposite forces, we then need to bring their energies together within us and allow them to meld, neutralization will occur and a moment of profound “ah ha!”.

You actually already know how to do this unconsciously. It is what actually happens when we are really stuck and it matters. If we really don’t know how to make it happen, but ‘it’ really matters, we often let go of knowing how and allow the outcome to present itself! Our role then is to take advantage of the opportunity! Most of us know how to do this!

Think about times you have run out of ideas, options and actions on what to do yet the outcome or contribution still has your full commitment. What has happened? Write to me and tell

me your experiences (email address on web site).

My example is that I have gluten intolerance that has involved much disturbed sleep due to cramping of my digestive tract. When I have eaten well and still have insomnia I have been very intolerant, as my sleep bank is already regularly overdrawn!

I remember once being awake three nights in a row for many hours for no apparent reason. I thought I knew all about how to work with polarities, bringing the energies together and neutralization. On the third night I ran out of ideas about what the poles might be before I got distracted and fell asleep again. I distinctly remember giving up knowing how to do this, but still deeply desiring my sleep. In the morning the last thing I could remember before falling asleep was this thought.

My body is a machine to some extent that ‘runs’ programs; my job is to choose a useful program! Given it has all the usual associated stimuli, it is dark, it is quiet, everyone else is asleep, then it has the potential to ‘run’ the sleep program or the insomnia program. Clearly, something unconscious is giving it directions which one to select. In letting go of knowing how, we can enable our innate wisdom to come to the fore and sleep returns.

As part of my personal coaching business, I set homework for clients to integrate their new perspectives and skills into their lives. Information is only useful when it works for them and they can use it to acquire wisdom in their lives.

I am constantly surprised at the tough circumstances in which they choose to ‘give it a go’! Areas I would be fainted hearted to suggest, as I know how committed they are to their unconscious assumptions (their love).

What I often fail to concurrently perceive is their constant and deep frustration at being stuck so often at this common point (their fear). Their need to move beyond this barrier of assumption is so profound, that the first opportunity to do so is taken with both hands and ridden to success!

Next time you are really stuck, work out what you love about the situation, it may be the rush from the fear! Work out what you fear about the situation, it maybe that you will never have this level of rush again. Bring the two energies together in you.

If the result is neutralization, you have dealt with a polarity and now practice of the choice is required to reinforce the new ‘programming’. If it hasn’t shifted then you need to look further for the equal and opposite nature of the two poles.

Change at this level is profound and sustainable. Your choice has been enabled for this issue and you can now deliver modulated behavior rather than only on or off results. For example my client can now be wise about the use of the information, rather than only use it as a carrot or a stick.

This article may be reproduced in printed or web format, provided the resource box below is included.

Rosemary Johnston is a professional corporate and personal coach. Working with executives from some of Australia’s largest and most successful companies for over 15 years.

Rosemary’s new book, “How To Develop Your Leadership Style and Skills to take charge of your life and career” is now available to download at her web site. Read about some of the success Rosemary has had coaching leaders in Australian blue chip companies. http://www.leadershipfirst.com.au

How does one go about getting deep results? There are many paths up this mountain. But one path is straight and steep and clear. That is the path of the Leadership Imperative.

I WILL LEAD PEOPLE IN SUCH A WAY THAT THEY NOT ONLY ACHIEVE THE RESULTS WE NEED BUT THEY ALSO BECOME BETTER AS LEADERS AND AS PEOPLE.

The Imperative has two parts: one is results-accomplishments and the other is self betterment.

You are never more powerful as a leader as when, in getting results, you are helping others be better than they are — even better than thought they could be. Guided by the Leadership Imperative, you’ll find yourself realizing deep results.

Deep results are not a measurement or a direction. They are not a central purpose. They are a process of being. They are not something achieved. They are an achieving — taking place not at a special place in a special time but at every place at all times.

You are deep results before you know that you are. Though deep results are easy, though often they do not come easily.

We are this mind/body in this space/time continuum. We know that. But to realize it, we must live it. To live it, we must seek it in our living. And that knowing and living and seeking is deep results.

The task that we shoulder reveals our heart to the world. Deep results show our soul to the world.

Examples of deep results:

–With the disasters of the Franco-Prussia War tumbling down upon Paris, a remarkable event took place, the word of which spread like wildfire through the city. The great author Victor Hugo, exiled for 19 years, had come back to Paris. Traveling through German lines, through the war-ravaged countryside, he had come into the city on virtually the last train. He had come to share the sufferings with the Parisians in their darkest hour when his arriving meant virtual imprisonment in the city. Throngs gathered at the station to applaud him. One man shouted over the crowd, “If defeat brings us Victor Hugo, we couldn’t be better rewarded!” – deep results.

–Doug Collins, member of the ’72 U.S. Olympic team that ultimately lost the gold medal on a disputed call to the Soviet Union, describes the dramatic moments at the end of the game. We’re losing by one. The Soviets have the ball. The clock’s running out. I hide behind the center, bait a guy into throwing a pass, knock it loose and grab it. A Russian goes under me as I’m going up for the lay-up. I’m KO’d for a second. The coaches

run to me. John Bach, one of the assistants, says, ‘We gotta get somebody to shoot the fouls.” But coach Hank Iba says, ‘If Doug can walk, he’ll shoot.’ That electrified me. The coach believed in me. I can’t even remember feeling any pressure. Three dribbles, spin the ball, toss it in, same as in my backyard. I hit ‘em both and got the lead. I didn’t know what I was made of until then.” –deep results.

–Herb Rammrath, a General Electric client of mine in the late 1980s, told me this. “I was a young Naval officer reporting with many other new sailors aboard an aircraft carrier. The captain met us in a formation on the flight deck. He shook my hand and went down the line greeting many other sailors. I didn’t think anything of it until several weeks later when he passed by me in a passageway. He said, ‘Hi, Herb!’ I never forgot that. He remembered my name despite the fact that he had met scores of new sailors that day. It’s made a tremendous impact on me till this day.” –deep results.

–Seeing abolitionist William Lloyd Garrison dragged with a rope down a Boston Street, Wendell Phillips became so outraged that he joined the abolitionist movement and became one of its most effective activists. –deep results.

Many people go through their careers ignorant of deep results. But when you view your career as a whole, don’t you think that the ultimate yardstick of your life should be deep results? Deep results are not about getting but giving, not about doing but becoming, not about material accumulation but about the enrichment of human relationships. From now on, when thinking about getting results in your jobs and your career, think too of the deep results you should achieve.

2005 © The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. All rights reserved.

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not required: mail to: brent@actionleadership.com

The author of 23 books, Brent Filson’s recent books are, THE LEADERSHIP TALK: THE GREATEST LEADERSHIP TOOL and 101 WAYS TO GIVE GREAT LEADERSHIP TALKS. He is founder and president of The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. – and for more than 20 years has been helping leaders of top companies worldwide get audacious results. Sign up for his free leadership e-zine and get a free white paper: “49 Ways To Turn Action Into Results,” at http://www.actionleadership.com

Are your meetings generally a waste of time? Do you have trouble getting commitment on the decisions made? The following information is based on “Conference Leadership”, an atypical Marine Corps publication that is no longer available to the public (as it has been incorporated into a sensitive and restricted document.)The publication details a method of achieving results from groups and meetings that was far ahead of its time, originally published in 1947. Veins of “stewardship,” “dialogue” and “servant leadership” can be seen throughout, though not by those names.

This article details eleven affirmations that create powerful facilitators and make up the “Code of the Conference Leader” as found in “Conference Leadership.”

The first affirmation is that “I frankly recognize my own limitations and do my utmost to improve my qualifications.” As conference leader you should not feel like you need know the answer to everything, nor portray yourself to the group as any kind of oracle. However, understanding and having confidence in the processes of effectively leading and managing the group is extremely important. You should strive to get and act upon feedback that will make you a leader and facilitator that the group respects.

The second affirmation in the code is that “I keep confidences under every circumstance.” The best way to keep confidential information and discussions to yourself is not to have them in the first place. Explain to the group (and first to the client if appropriate) that you prefer not to have private conversions. You shouldn’t take sides and the group should have all the information that you have. A detailed discussion of this principle can be found in the excellent facilitation book “The Skilled Facilitator” by Roger Schwarz.

The third and fourth affirmations are “I always consider other people’s point of view” and “I will be open-minded about the other’s job, view-point and experience.” It is very important to recognize and appreciate the fact that your group are adults with varied histories and experiences through which they will filter the entire group experience. Adults learn most by association and we’ve all heard that “Where you stand is where you sit.” Regardless of whether or not you personally agree with all of the points of views and agendas present, you must not ignore this dynamic.

The fifth affirmation is “I believe in the duties of conference leader.” The job of the conference leader is not an intuitive one for most people. Most people want to be responsible for something, or not, and are not used to being on a real team. Real teams are more like soccer teams versus wrestling “teams” where a real collective effort is required versus a combination of individual efforts. An effective conference is where everyone is helping to pick up one big rock versus everyone breaking it up and picking up their own little piece. Additionally, as leader, you need to lead by example in the front but also be in the background. You’re a facilitator, not a savior…

The sixth affirmation is that “I give credit where credit is due” which is mainly to the members of your group. Throughout the conference, it is most useful to simply respect and acknowledge contributions from members without agreeing, disagreeing or otherwise judging them. For example, just say “thanks” not “right.” Let the group evaluate comments. You cannot afford to be perceived as being in one camp or the other and sacrifice your position as an impartial leader and facilitator.

The sixth affirmation is “I remember constantly, that the people in the conference groups are worthy of every consideration and respect, and deal with them as fellow men and women.” Similar in intent to some of the previous affirmations, it is very important to truly respect the people in your group. Only through their efforts and commitment to follow through will anything be accomplished. If you don’t honestly respect them, then it will be hard to believe that THEY have the answers they need and with your help, will discover them themselves.

The seventh affirmation is “I stimulate and develop thinking and expression.” Your group needs to discover and experience its own answers AND share and express them. Google both “critical thinking” and “emotional

intelligence” to understand the breadth and depth of this deceptively simple statement.

The eighth affirmation is “I listen more than talk.” Remember, your job is not to “instruct” or to “lecture.” You can lead and facilitate best by understanding what’s going on with your group. You do this mainly by watching and listening. Even if you could lead them somewhere they didn’t want to go by force of your personality and style, this only creates an unhealthy dependency. As soon as you leave, they’ll be lost. Some interesting facts about listening can be found at www.listen.org/pages/factoids.html.

The ninth affirmation is “I avoid prejudice.” This is one of the hardest ones. We all “pre-judge” a lot of stuff in our lives to save valuable time and not re-invent the wheel every time we need to make a decision. I pre-judge most of the my food and do not normally order red-wine. I do not particularly care for lima beans nor pig-brains (though since I’ve never tried the latter, how would I really know?) Pre-judging people often is a useful practice too. When I see someone I view as a threat, I may decide to lock my car doors or choose not to walk down an alley. Unfortunately we pre-judge people more than is useful, especially if our job is to help them help themselves. Do not let that first impression become concrete. Stay open to the fact that you do not know them, their history nor their motivations and you will learn far, far more that you can use to help them think and express their own solutions.

The tenth affirmation is “I minimize my own personal experience and achievement.” This overlaps appropriately with several other affirmations. The focus of any meeting or conference should be on the members and not the leader. The best conference leader is in the background or else the group may become dependent on him or her. While your personal experience and achievement may be important in justifying your role as leader, once it is determined to be your responsibility, further advertisement of your own credentials should not be necessary. The group should not be concerned with your credentials since you will not be providing the “answers” but rather themselves (and there may be some work to do to get the group to believe in themselves.) Do not portray yourself as a knight in shining white armor to lead the way, but rather a seasoned stable hand who will work beside them and help shovel the manure to discover their own solutions.

The last affirmation is “I remember that the success or failure of the entire training program rests with its leader.” This does not contradict the previous affirmation. Left to their own devices, the group will likely continue to get what its been getting. You need to help them raise their thinking (if not even thier “being”) to a higher level at which time they can carry on by themselves. But they will need your help or nothing will change.

These affirmations have been modified slightly from the original publication in which they were more statements and principles than affirmations however I have found that they are even more powerful if actively used as affirmations – statements consistently made to yourself about how you are and what you believe right now. Not how you will be “in the future” (i.e. “I will…”) or else the creative tension is gone and you let yourself off the hook since all you have to believe is that eventually, some time in the future you will change. Instead, decide and change right now! Be the leader you can be and get the results you and your team needs and deserves right now.

Stephen Pellegrino is a former Marine officer, operations analyst and consultant. A “plank holder” in the Marine Corps Business Enterprise office, he championed various cost and performance management initiatives for the Marine Corps, including leading the largest activity based costing implementation in the world. He is currently most interested in helping people committed to helping themselves get past the hype of the latest fad and get real results from real people.He can be contacted at stephen@conferenceleadership.com..

STEPS TO BECOMING A GOOD LEADER:

1. Develop a master plan. What are your goals? What are the organization’s goals? How are you going to reach them? 2. Develop a leadership style. To manage people, you need to know how you’re going to do it. Be comfortable with the leadership style you choose, and it will lead to future success. 3. Know the risks. Making any decision has its risks. Know the risks involved and whether the organization can afford to take them. 4. Get the authority you need. You need authority to achieve goals. If you don’t have enough, get assertive. Tell your superiors you need more authority to make decisions. 5. Be decisive. Don’t get caught saying, “Let me get back to you.” Consult staff, but you make the decisions. 6. Be firm. If you believe in your decisions, then stick to them. However, be open to suggestions and be flexible.

LEADERSHIP CHECKLIST:

–Do you have a clearly defined leadership style? –Does your group have clearly defined working conditions? –Is your group organized? –Can you communicate with

employees? –Do you consult staff before making decisions that impact them? –Can you write effective letters and memos? –Do you make effective decisions? –Do you act quickly and responsibly? –Can you gather information and present reports based on the information? –Do you use your time and resources effectively? –Do you devise efficient and effective plans, procedures or methods to carry out work?

Copyright AE Schwartz & Associates All rights reserved. For additional presentation materials and resources: ReadySetPresent and for a Free listing as a Trainer, Consultant, Speaker, Vendor/Organization: TrainingConsortium

CEO, A.E. Schwartz & Associates, Boston, MA., a comprehensive organization which offers over 40 skills based management training programs. Mr. Schwartz conducts over 150 programs annually for clients in industry, research, technology, government, Fortune 100/500 companies, and nonprofit organizations worldwide. He is often found at conferences as a key note presenter and/or facilitator. His style is fast-paced, participatory, practical, and humorous. He has authored over 65 books and products, and taught/lectured at over a dozen colleges and universities throughout the United States.