One of the dumbest things I have ever done is grab a hot iron by the bottom.

We were rushing out of the house for a trip a few years back. The last time I had used it was hours ago that morning, and had left it on the ironing bourd in the bed room. I didn’t knowLauren had used it just a moment before.

I’ve never dropped anything so fast before or since!

Most of you are probably a whole lot smarter than me and have never picked up a hot iron. At the same time, I bet everyone has had the experience of picking up something hot, getting burned, and dropping it right away.

Would it make any sense to keep holding something hot like that? Of course not.

That’s why we drop them so quickly.

Then why do we hold on so tightly to hot emotional issues and allow them to keep burning us?

Yet we do it all the time. Something inconvenient, bad, or even traumatic occurs, and we hold on to it for dear life. I’ve worked with people who had experienced trauma and were doing fairly well not too long after. I’ve also worked with people who had experienced trauma years and years ago, yet it seemed as if it had just happened.

How to Hold On

Holding on to something that is burning us requires a lot of conscious attention, just like flunking gym class in school. Here’s a few “tips” for holding on:

*Play the situation or offense over and over in your mind.

Be sure to make a little “mental movie” for your own viewing pleasure.

*Make sure it’s the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing you think of at night.

*Tell everyone who will give you an ear the whole entire story, in play by play detail.

*Make it the defining moment in your life.

*Isolate yourself from other people

*Rant and rave about the injustice and unfairness of it all.

*Look at yourself as a victim.

How to Drop It

Just as holding on to something requires conscious attention, dropping something requires a conscious decision. Here’s a few tips for dropping it:

*as stated above, decide to. You must decide to do it before any ot the other tips will work.

*take away from it what you can learn, leave behind anything else.

*find a symbol of the event and burn it, bury it, or both. I know this might sound a little silly, but it works.

*remember the saying “Success comes from good judgement. Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.”

*and perhaps the most important: make a place for it in your life, because it did happen. And then put it in it’s place, which is behind you.

Hold on and get burned or drop it and move on. It’s a choice.

And it’s yours to make.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

“Learn how to turn frustration into fascination. You will learn more being fascinated by life than you will by being frustrated by it.” _Jim Rohn

Simply stated, feeling frustrated is saying that we just don’t like what life is handing us right now, today, this week, this year, this lifetime. Nothing wrong with that necessarily, but like so many other things, it’s our response to frustrating events that makes the difference.

Let’s take a closer look at how to get frustrated and then at a few more productive responses to frustration.

How to get frustrated

Take each and every obstacle that is thrown in your way very personally. Be convinced that the slow driver in front of you is doing it on purpose to you; perhaps he was even sent to find you.

Approach life with a strong sense of entitlement. Believe that you deserve to get your way no matter what.

Blow everything out of proportion. Frustrations come at us in varying degrees: On a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being the best and 10 being the worst, respond to every event as if it’s a 10.

Live life in a constant state of stress, don’t slow down, and definitely don’t develop any patience.

Get addicted to the rush of anger that comes with frustration.

Consequences of frustration

Live in a state of perpetual anger.

Say and do things you later regret.

Face the same problems over and over again without ever discovering any solutions.

Eventually this level of stress will affect you physically in some way.

You teach your kids to react the same way.

How to

get fascinated

Reframe obstacles as “challenging learning opportunities.”

Ask better questions. Instead of asking “why does this always happen to me” or “how dare they do this,” practice asking this question: “How can I creatively solve this in a way that I might learn something new and that will benefit myself and others.

Another good response would be: “Well, isn’t this interesting. I wonder how we are going to solve this one?”

Stop reacting and respond. Reacting shuts down your brain. Responding jump-starts your creativity.

Stress management expert Tim O’Brien uses the QTIP technique: Quit Taking It Personally. I’ve actually suggested carrying a Q-tip in a pocket as a reminder. Sounds silly perhaps, but it works.

Look at the things that get in your way as simply events, nothing more. This one really saved me recently when I had spent hours on the previous three nights updating our Quickbooks files. Later, when I brought up the file, it looked as if we had lost hours of work and eight months of data.

I told myself, and my wife, that this was only an event. That allowed me to have the presence of mind to remember I have a friend who is an expert in Quickbooks. He showed us how to find the data. We solved the problem and diffused my urge to throw the computer out the window.

Like most things in life, we have a choice here. This time it’s between frustration and fascination.

Choose wisely.

For more tips and tools on stress management and mastery visitTools for Successful Living

One of the best ways to manage stress is to develop a positive attitude. The way you think, day in day out, affects all aspects of your life. Studies have shown that people that maintain a positive attitude, and hence a higher level of wellbeing, have lower cardiovascular risk, lower levels of stress hormones and a stronger immune system.

By listening to your “internal dialogue” you will learn to recognize your thought patterns and how they may be affecting the way you handle the stressful situations of daily living. When first tuning into your internal dialogue, you may be surprised to find that much of it is negative, for example, “I could never do that” or “What if I fail?”. Such thoughts will have a negative effect on your behaviour and can induce higher levels of stress hormones which can cause damage to the body.

Being positive does not mean pretending that everything is great all of the time. It is about being cautiously optimistic and positively realistic when things go wrong. To adopt a more positive you can try the following:

• Use positive affirmations to increase your self-esteem. A negative mindset can be very limiting.
• Focus on the good things that people have to

  offer instead of their bad traits.

• Get rid of all negative words in your vocabulary. Eliminate words like “can’t” “won’t” and “shouldn’t”.
• Be realistic, yet positive, rather than negative. Don’t let the fear of failure stop you.
• Don’t stress over the small issues or trivialities in your life.
• Make life an adventure. Put 100% into everything you set out to do.
• Be willing to help others. By helping others, your outlook on life and sense of pride will improve.
• Take it one day at a time during the hard times. Remember the big picture and believe that tomorrow will be a better day.
• Believe in your judgement. Don’t let negative thoughts question your decision.

Thinking positively and approaching life with a positive attitude will give you the mental strength and determination to accept stress as a part of life and manage it effectively.

David Tomaselli is the creator of the Wholistic Development Exchange. The Wholistic Development Exchange is a web site focusing on Stress Management. Here you can access frequently updated tips, news and resources on how to reduce stress and manage stress.target=”_blank” For the latest tips go to Stress Management Tips and Techniques.To download free E-Books go to our Free Stress Management E-Books Section.

In previous OFN articles, we’ve covered the importance of planning your life so that fitness contributes to your overall balance. But what happens if, despite good planning on your part, you wake up one morning feeling completely overwhelmed and unable to make yourself do *anything*, much less exercise?

This is especially topical for me right now, because it’s exactly where I woke up yesterday. Yes, even those of us trained in life balance still miscalculate sometimes – we’re only human too! Our training doesn’t stop us getting out of balance occasionally – but it helps us recognise it and deal with it promptly. And since I know clients who’ve experienced the same thing, writing about my process for getting back into balance seemed like a good idea.

STEP 1: TAKE TIME OUT

Sometimes, when we feel overwhelmed, we’re too close to the situation to see it clearly. At such times, we need time out. Don’t actually *do* anything about your overwhelm during this time – just rest or do something you enjoy without making demands on yourself. Even a few hours can be helpful.

I cancelled yesterday’s appointments – then gave myself as long as I needed to doze. I knew I had work that wasn’t getting done – but I also knew if I tried to do it, I’d just add to my exhaustion.

STEP 2: EVALUATE

Once you’ve taken a break, ask yourself what’s changed recently. What are you doing more or less of than you were before? What’s started or stopped in your life since the last time you felt balanced? Don’t judge whether something ‘should’ affect you or not – just look at facts. What’s different now?

Personally, I realised that although I’d planned my days well, I’d stopped keeping to my plans. I’d been working longer hours, and let my diet become unbalanced. On top of that, there was a personal issue I’d avoided dealing with that was stealing my energy resources.

STEP 3: MAKE PLANS

Once you know what’s changed, explore what you can do about it. How simple this process is will depend on your circumstances. If your life was fairly balanced before the overwhelm hit, it may only need a few lifestyle tweaks. If not, it may be more complex. Either way, work with where you are now. Remember that there are many resources available to help you – experts you can ask, friends who might have suggestions, articles, books and websites.

In my case, I wrote a grocery list that included foods rich in the nutrients I was going short on, re-planned my day more realistically, and acknowledged my need to do something about the issue I’d been avoiding.

STEP 4: ACT ON YOUR PLANS

After identifying what needs doing, the next step is

to do it. At this point, getting help (whether from a friend or an expert) is always valuable. Remember you may not be able to act on your plans immediately – some plans will be short-term, others will be longer. Beware of trying to do too much too fast – chances are that’s exactly what exhausted you to start with!

In my case, I talked things over with a friend, then looked at what I could act on. Some actions were short-term (eating a meal containing the foods I’d bought, and talking to the person concerned about the issue I’d been ignoring), and some longer-term (committing to my more realistic plans).

STEP 5: REVIEW AND MAKE CHANGES

An important part of any action plan is reviewing it – and getting back into balance is no exception.

Once you’ve implemented a change for a reasonable length of time, go back to step 2 and evaluate how well it’s working. Do you feel more in balance? Are you finding it easier to exercise? If not (or not as much as you’d like), what else might still be out of balance? Run through steps 3, 4 and 5 again until you get the results you’re looking for. If you’re running out of ideas at this stage, you’ll definitely benefit from talking it over with an expert.

The actions I’d already taken brought me back into balance less than 24 hours after I hit overwhelm. If they hadn’t though, I’d be going through the review process right now – exploring what else might need tweaking, trying it, then reviewing it in a few days.

FINAL WORDS: WHAT *NOT* TO DO

In the article above, I’ve described my own process for moving out of overwhelm, and into balance. I’d be remiss, however, if I didn’t quickly tell you what I’ve tried that really *doesn’t* work for me:

• Ignoring the overwhelm and hoping it goes away

• Trying to muscle through with willpower

• Trying to deal with it completely on my own

While all of these appeal to the part of me that wants to appear in control, each one leaves me even more overwhelmed than when I started! The five-step process, however, always brings me back to balance. If you have any questions about anything in this article, or you’d like some expert help in balancing your life, please contact me. Otherwise, until the next issue, may every day bring you closer to your optimum life.

© Tanja Gardner, Optimum Life Ltd.

For more information on how we can help you start living your optimum life, please visit http://optimumlife.co.nz

For a copy of our free ‘What is Optimum Fitness?’ Report, please e-mail mailto:tanja@optimumlife.co.nz with ‘Please send Fitness Report’ in the subject line

VT Fitness Tips – diet plan, exercises, weight loss and gain muscles latest information.

A while back, I was in a minor fender-bender accident, and as the police officer filled out the report, I gave him my business card with my name and phone number. When he saw “stress management” listed he said, “We’ve got to talk!” That’s most people’s reaction when they find out what I do.

Many people say they feel stressed, and most people would probably agree that being a police officer is stressful, but it’s amazing how much stress we all have in our everyday lives. It can be a result of driving in rush hour, learning new software, or grocery shopping after a long hard day at work. Of course there’s stress in more serious situations too, such as illness or losing a job, but it can also result from positive events such as marriage, a promotion, or even winning money.

Stress is anything that makes you change, adjust or adapt. And it’s cumulative. For example, if you have a tense or difficult discussion with a spouse or co-worker, and later spill coffee on your computer, the stress of spilling the coffee doesn’t replace the stress of the discussion. It just adds another layer to your stress level that day. Physical and mental damage can result from too much stress, so it’s important to learn and to use good coping skills to relax and relieve the pressure. Here are just a few:

A. Allow time every day for relaxation.

Your success at managing stress depends on you not only learning, but practicing relaxation techniques. Regular practice is what makes it effective, so set aside time for regular, daily deep relaxation, even if it’s only five or ten minutes. And simply relaxing in front of the television or taking a warm bath doesn’t count! You can achieve a deeply relaxed state by learning one of the many effective techniques such as breathing, guided imagery, meditation, etc. Choose one that feels right for you.

Deep relaxation produces desirable physiological and biochemical responses that are exactly the opposite of those seen during stress. According to stress expert Dr. Edmund Jacobson: “An anxious mind cannot exist in a relaxed body”.

Regular deep relaxation has many healthy benefits. It can decrease anxiety, increase concentration, help you sleep better and generally make you feel better. When you consistently practice some form of deep relaxation, it has a cumulative effect. You become more aware of the difference between feeling stressed and feeling relaxed, so when tension builds, you’re more likely to notice it sooner and do something about it.

B. Breathe.

Breathing techniques are a foundation of stress reduction training. When we’re stressed we tend to take shorter, shallow breaths. We may even hold our breath. This decreases the flow of oxygen

to the body, making it harder to cope with stress. When you breathe properly, i.e., when you breath into your abdomen, not just your chest, you take in more oxygen, promote calmness, and can reduce tension and stress quickly. The next time you feel tension building, stop what you’re doing and take a few long, slow, deep abdominal breaths. Focus only on your breathing, and let a sense of calm wash over you.

You can also practice abdominal breathing on a regular basis, which works on keeping your stress level low. When clients tell me they don’t have time to practice, I write them a “prescription” that states: “Take 3 deep breaths every hour”. At some time during our day, we all find ourselves waiting in a line, at a red light, “on hold”, or waiting for our computer to do something. These are perfect occasions to practice deep breathing. The more you shift your breathing to your abdomen the more relaxed you will feel on an ongoing basis.

C. Change your thoughts.

It’s our perception of an event that’s stressful, not the event itself, and what we think affects our body. There’s a cause and effect relationship between what we think and how our body reacts. If your thoughts are tense or anxious your body responds with a stress response, a series of unhealthy changes; increased muscle tension, increased blood pressure, and increased heart rate, to name a few.

For example, if you’re stressed about giving an upcoming talk, you may be thinking, “What if I look foolish; I’m afraid; I hate this…” or other scary thoughts that trigger the stress response. To counteract those thoughts and the negative reaction they set off, change your thoughts. Refute and challenge those thoughts by telling yourself: “I’m fine; I’m prepared; people want me to succeed…” or other positive, self-supportive, confidence-building statements. You will feel better and your body will respond positively

When you’re feeling stressed and frazzled you can also simply close your eyes and take a mental vacation. Imagine a tranquil, relaxing scene. It could be a favorite vacation spot, somewhere that reminds you of serenity, or any place real or imagined that’s peaceful and relaxing to you. This works especially well if you have previously learned to “visit” this place while deeply relaxed. The more familiar you are in your mind with your special relaxing place, the easier it is to relax quickly.

By learning and practicing a few easy skills, you can reduce stress and make positive changes in your life.

Tedde Abbott is a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Avon. She helps private and corporate clients with stress, weight, smoking, and personal issues. She can be contacted through Healthy Life Centers at (888) 865-1870 and http://www.iwanttoquitsmoking.com

Feeling stressed? Join the club. The number of stressors our society faces on a daily basis has increased immensely during the last 10 years, and with the speed that we are leading our lives, chances are they will continue to do so. There are many things you can do to prevent, avoid, and deal with the most common stressors in your life, but, no matter how you deal with them, make sure to avoid the following stressors like the plague. Even though they may require major changes in your habits, you will be happy you did.

Here is a first list of 10 things you need to avoid at all costs.

1. TV

It is hard to believe but television is one of the greatest kill joys that have even been invented. Not mentioning the ability to kill social interaction, what you see in television is a great source of stress. Besides some excellent trash that is shown in an infinite number of channels, think commercials. The basic premise of good advertising is that it needs to create a need by instilling pain, fear or other negative emotions. Next time you watch commercials, pay attention to what kind of negative emotion they are making you feel, and what kind of solution for this problem that they just created for you, they are proposing. You will see what I mean. Now, if you must, watch one sitcom that is really funny. Turn off the TV after that.

2. News

Read good news only. Have you noticed how many bad news TV and radio bombard us with every day? Studies tell us that over 90% of the news we heard are bad news. You are already stressed. Why piling up on negative stressors? Some people argue that you need to know what is happening in the world; we need to be informed. Granted. But you could also know about things later on, when the buzz has already subsided. You don’t need more stress in your life. And, by the way, there are good sources of information that aren’t so negative. Do a search using the words happy or good news.

3. Arguments

Don’t even think about starting an argument about who’s taking the trash out, or who did or didn’t do something. Let go. This is hardly the time to pursue fairness. It is even more important when you are in a quarrelling/ fighting mood, which

is obviously provoked by your own stress. Resist. When you are in this mood, the best thing you can do is to retrieve to a quiet place until the mood is gone.

4. Caffeine

This is not the time to stimulate your adrenals. Avoid coffee, chocolate (even the soothing hot cocoa), sodas (even decaf ones) or black tea. Substitute them for herbal tea. Chamomile tea is very good. Anything decaf and natural is good. Sodas are out, especially the ones with sugar substitutes.

5. Rap or hard rock music

There is definitely a time and a place for this type of music and when you don’t feel good or when you are stressed out is NOT one of them. Many provoke anger, despair, and violence. Listen to calming music instead. A good example is the kind of music that doesn’t bring your memory to the past. Memories can be very stressful as well.

Of course, not all stress has a negative impact in one’s life. For example, you are going on a much expected trip. It is exciting and you can hardly wait. Or, you are about to get married. These are stressful situations all right, but they are not necessarily negative.

Some stressors, albeit negative, need to be dealt in a positive way, as they are unavoidable. For example, if you must bike in heavy traffic, think of the benefits of your activity: you are saving resources and getting exercise at the same time. Or, perhaps, you need to wait in line in the post office to send a package abroad to someone you love, so you put up with it; you will make someone happy.

In Part 2 we will discuss other 5 things to avoid.To be continued…

© Maria Moratto 2005

About the author

Dr. Maria Moratto is a life coach. She promotes seminars and courses in developing the perfect life blueprint, which includes attracting abundance and loving relationships, time management, stress management, diversity, goal setting, career search and change, values clarification, leisure, self-improvement, college life, spirituality, natural health and lifestyle. She is also writing a book on successful relationships, coming soon. Visit her website at http://www.rx4bliss.com and sign up for a free e-zine that is short, informative, and fun. Go to her blog at: http://www.rx4bliss.blogspot.com for great discussions on these topics. You may reprint this article in its entirety as long as you add this source box.

Living with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and having to deal with your fearful thoughts can be extremely difficult. It can be tough for people with OCD to have to experience obsessive thoughts that are intrusive, scary, and difficult to manage. As a result, here is a short list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their OCD and their obsessive thoughts.

The first thing a person must do is not to dwell or focus on the fear provoking thought when it comes. The more a person tries to reason out the thought or focus on the fear behind the thought, the stronger the thought becomes. The next time you encounter an obsessive thought, get into the practice of not dwelling on it.

From my interviews with various psychologists, I was told that a person should visualize a red stop sign in their mind when they encounter a fear provoking thought. When the negative thought comes, a person should think of a red stop sign which serves as a reminder to stop focusing on that thought and to think of something else. A person can then try to think of something positive to replace the negative thought.

A person should keep a small notebook of positive statements that makes them feel good. Whenever they come across a positive and uplifting verse that makes them feel good, write it down in a small notebook. A person can then carry this notebook around in their pocket and whenever they feel anxious, they can read

their notebook.

Sometimes, a person may encounter a lot of scary thoughts coming at them all at once. Instead of getting upset, remember that these thoughts are exaggerated and are not based on reality. From my interviews with various professionals, I’ve learned that usually it is the fear behind the thoughts that gets us worked up. Ignore the fear behind these obsessive thoughts, regardless how the strong the fear may be. If you ignore the fear behind these thoughts, then the thoughts become easier to manage.

Another thing to remember is that no one can predict the future with 100 Percent certainty. Even if your fearful thoughts tell you otherwise, the fact is that there are circumstances and factors in every situation that can not be anticipated. We may be ninety-nine percent in predicting the future but all it takes is for that one percent to make the biggest difference.

Although I am a Layman and not a professional, I have interviewed many counselors and I learned that there are many ways to deal with these kinds of thoughts. It is also important to seek professional help if you have OCD. There are ways to deal with your obsessive thoughts and with the proper treatment, people with OCD can live a productive life.

Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear” an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com

When we think about ‘stress’, we generally think about events outside our control. You know the kind of thing – experts have compiled Top Ten lists of them. These lists vary, but generally ‘death of a spouse or close relative’ is at number 1 with ‘divorce/separation’, ‘serious illness or trauma’ and ‘moving house’ following close behind. The truth is that although many of these events are outside of our immediate control, we can learn stress management techniques that can help us to reduce the effects of stress that we might experience.

But what about stress that you are choosing?

Yup, that’s right. You would think that we are all so keen to reduce stress in our lives, that there’s no way we would choose stress. And perhaps that’s true to an extent, but many of us are nevertheless making decisions every day that will increase our stress levels. The problem is, we don’t even realise that we are doing it.

“It was a stressful time.”

That last statement could be an acceptable response to a number of questions; I expect you can come up with 5 without giving it too much thought. Go on, have a go now. Think of 5 questions that might provoke the answer, “It was a stressful time.” Done? Good.

Now I’m not usually a gambler, but I’m willing to bet my PC that you didn’t come up with this question, “How was your breakfast?”! No, I thought not. And yet, if your breakfast included coffee, sugar, sausage, bacon or ham, anything fried, milk, butter or cheese, margarine or other processed vegetable oil and anything refined or containing additives/preservatives, then your breakfast, whether you know it or not, was indeed a stressful time – for your body!

A good diet is vital for keeping you healthy and reducing your stress levels. Certain foods and drinks are powerful stimulants and are therefore a direct cause of stress to your body. They will overtax your liver and upset your blood-sugar levels and though you don’t know it at the time, they are harmful over time.

And those foods listed above are not the only ‘stressor’ foods; you can add alcohol, red meat and spicy foods too.

Now if you are thinking, “hey, just wait up there a minute! That’s like everything any normal person eats!” Well, yes, sadly it is. And

that’s probably why we are seeing an increase in obesity, diabetes, asthma, liver disease, digestive problems etc.

I found out the hard way just how stressful a standard ‘western’ diet can be. This type of diet has been labelled a SAD diet (standard American diet) by those working in health and nutrition, but America isn’t the only country with mass-produced, refined and processed foods adorning the supermarket shelves. I live in the UK and the diet here is much the same as in the US. I’ve been a vegetarian for 25 years, so I always thought I was doing okay. But looking back, my old diet, for many years, consisted of lots of cheese, sugary ‘dead’ yoghurts, refined bread, pastries, cakes and biscuits, crisps, canned drinks, coffee, alcohol, take-outs and pizzas. And I smoked. I did eat a lot of vegetables, but they were generally ‘nuked’ or processed to death in the form of microwave and ready-meals. Little wonder then, that the continued stress on my body resulted in the eventual diagnosis of not one, but two dreadful digestive conditions Ulcerative Colitis and Crohns Disease.

The good news is, that despite accepted medical opinion that these conditions are incurable and chronic, I ‘cured’ myself from both simply by changing from a SAD to a wholefood diet. And if you are wondering what there is left to eat once you eliminate all of the ‘baddies’ mentioned above, I can assure you, the choice is enormous and my meals are more interesting and delicious than I ever believed they could be, eating this way.

For more detailed information about exactly what to eat, read my other article How to Relieve Stress Through Diet – 10 Transitioning Tips. You can also find regular tasty recipe ideas in both my blog http://claireraikes.blogs.com/claires_blog/ and my free newsletter http://www.liveinessence.com/free.htm

For a free Wellbeing Checklist covering the subject of this article, visit: http://www.liveinessence.com/free.htm

Claire Raikes is a Health and Wellbeing Coach who ‘cured’ herself of a chronic, disabling and potentially life-threatening bowel condition without the use of steroids, surgery or any other traditional medical intervention. She shares her passion for natural and vibrant health by working with individuals and companies to educate, encourage and inspire people to increase energy levels, boost immunity, lose weight and lead happier lives as a result.

Alcohol Abuse information, tips, recovery and treatment.

Last week my family and I took a week for rest and rejuvenation. While some families might think of this as ‘vacation’ I find it more invigorating to call it rest and rejuvenation because each time I speak or think that phrase it reminds me what the primary purpose of the time is.

And while, as a Burned Out Baby Boomer in recovery, it’s always a bit of a challenge to leave my business for a week, in large part because I also love what I do so much, I’ve come to realize with the help of coach Chris Barrow how important regular times of R&R really are, not only to my own sanity and well being, but also so I can come back ready to be of service once again to my clients.

I’m not quite sure when the R&R time officially started since we had fun traveling to Columbia SC where we conducted a Sunday On Purpose, which was also so much fun that it almost doesn’t count as work. But the real R&R time began Sunday evening when we arrived in Charleston SC where we stayed at a beautiful condominium right in the heart of Charleston where everything is happening. (Thanks to my good friend and client, Eric M. for providing us with such a pleasant place to stay.)

While we did a lot while in Charleston, we did also make time just to hang out, read, relax, talk, listen to music, watch some TV, etc. My 13-year old daughter, Amber, and I visited the air craft carrier, Yorktown, along with a battleship, Coast Guard Cruiser and submarine. We counted this as

part of her home education so while touring the vessels I gave Amber a pop quiz. It was some special time together that we will both cherish — what I would call a ‘silver box memory.’

We also visited a couple of beaches, spent most of one day shopping at the open air market, ate much wonderful food, and slept late every morning. We then returned home to our “Paradise Found” in the NC mountains where we continued 2-3 more days of R&R.

When’s the last time you took time off to simply rest and rejuvenate? Last year, after hearing Chris Barrow share about the 6-plus weeks of time off he takes for R&R, I committed to taking at least 4 weeks a year — something I couldn’t even imagine doing in my ‘previous life’ as a vet. So far, I’ve held to my promise with a lot of help from Ann and Amber. I strongly encourage my Burned Out Boomer clients increase they R&R time as well. How about you?

That’s it from Flat Rock NC where it’s another beautiful day in Paradise.BRAD

©2005 Brad Swift of Life On Purpose Institute, Inc.This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included.

Dr. Brad Swift founded Life On Purpose Institute in 1996 with the vision of creating a World On Purpose by assisting people like yourself to clarify their life purpose & live true to it. Determine how on or off purpose your life is with the fun & insightful Self Test at:http://lifeonpurpose.com/_forms/self-test.php?source=ezartInspire yourself with a fr.ee subscription to Purposeful Pondering Ezine:http://lifeonpurpose.com/index.php?dir=_ezines&task=view-ezines

A client of mine recently shared a wonderful story about butterflies and the value of struggling.

If you have ever had the privilege of watching the amazing process of a butterfly leaving its cocoon, you know it’s quite a struggle. Well, it seems some scientists, in their wisdom, found a way to get butterflies out of their cocoons without a struggle.

What they found, however, was that the butterflies that had to struggle out of their cocoons lived longer, flew better and were more beautiful than the butterflies that were removed without a struggle.

The value of struggle

Besides saying something about the value of struggle, I believe the story also says something to us about the difference between science and success.

Struggle makes us stronger. When we successfully deal with an obstacle, we begin to build momentum. With continuous momentum, obstacles that once appeared

huge become just the next thing to get out of our way.

Maybe it’s like something Tom Hanks’ character said in the movie “A League of Their Own.” One of the players was complaining about how hard something was and Hanks responded,

“Of course it’s hard. That’s what makes it good.”

Or perhaps it’s like I say to many of my clients as they struggle to grow and improve their lives:

“I won’t promise you the struggle will be easy, just worth it.”

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