In a recent study conducted by the Army War College, subordinates of the major generals who are leading the war efforts in Iraq were asked to rate the performance of their superiors.

The survey revealed that the best leaders:

• Keep cool under pressure
• Clearly explains the missions, sets standards and priorities
• See the big picture; provides context and perspective
• Make tough, sound decisions on time
• Adapt quickly to new situations; can handle bad news
• Give useful feedback; sets a high ethical tone
• Are positive, encouraging and realistically optimistic

According to retired Gen. Walter Ulmer, coauthor of the study, “The study showed that even when tactical and technical competences are excellent, interpersonal skills are critical.”

What’s that? People skills are critical in fighting a war? General Patton must be spinning in his four-star grave.

According to Ulmer the survey revealed that it is easier to teach technical skills than to teach people how to gain trust and build teams. In other words, trained tacticians are important, but the worth of a true leader may best be measured by how he leads, motivates, and treats his troops.

The study further showed that many key behaviors these generals exhibit were learned by example. Their former superiors displayed people skills and whether intended or not, taught those skills to their subordinates. This means that good leaders produced good leaders. I’m sure the flipside is just as true. Bad leaders often produce the next generation of bad leaders. We see it in business everyday. The recent rash of corporate scandals didn’t just involve the bad guys at the top. They often involved subordinate executives who were following the leader’s example and carrying out his not-so honorable plans.

Not surprisingly, the same traits found in the generals leading the effort in Iraq are the same traits found in many successful executives and entrepreneurs.

Keeps cool under pressure

Contrary to what many believe, being an entrepreneur is not always a walk in the park. There is constant pressure coming from many fronts. Pressure to make a sale, to meet payroll, to keep the doors open, to keep the employees in line, and on and on. The best entrepreneurs learn to thrive under pressure.

Pressure becomes a motivator, not a detractor.

Clearly explains missions, sets the standards and priorities

Successful entrepreneurs understand that the organization runs smoother, better, faster if everyone is on the same page. A good leader makes sure his subordinates understand the mission at hand. He makes sure that everyone understands the expectations, goals and objectives. He shares his vision and lays out the plan of attack.

Sees the big picture; provides context and perspective

Many executives and entrepreneurs can not see beyond the edge of their desk. Great leaders not only see the big picture, they make sure their team sees it, as well. They share their vision and perspective for the long haul, not just the battle being waged today.

Makes tough, sound decisions on time

One trait of the successful entrepreneur is the ability to make decisions soundly and quickly. You must weigh your options and choose a direction with minimal consideration time. Procrastination has no place in battle or in business. Procrastinating entrepreneurs will quickly become someone else’s procrastinating employees.

Adapts quickly to new situations; can handle bad news

In business some days are diamonds and some days are coal. Successful entrepreneurs are prepared to deal with the day no matter what it brings. They do not stick their heads in the sand and wait for the bad news to go away.

Gives useful feedback; sets a high ethical tone

A good leader listens more than he speaks. He takes input from the team and makes decisions based on that input and his own expertise. He sets the example that he expects his team to follow.

Is positive, encouraging and realistically optimistic

A good leader never lets his team see him sweat. He does not broadcast his negativity because he knows negativity is contagious and will spread faster than the plague. A good leader encourages his team to perform no matter the odds. He is the positive force that keeps everyone motivated to win.

Every entrepreneur should take a lesson from these generals, as should every corporate executive. I’m sure it would cut down on the time many of them are now spending in the stockade.

Here’s to your success!

Tim Knox

Tim serves as the president and CEO of three successful technology companies and is the founder of DropshipWholesale.net, an online organization dedicated to the success of online and eBay entrepreneurs.

Related Links:

http://www.prosperityandprofits.com

http://www.smallbusinessqa.com

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Take a look at areas of your life where you may be out of balance. For example, if you are not careful, work can take over your life. Earn more! Learn more! Sell more! Move faster. It’s not surprising that there is an epidemic of stress in the workplace. A survey by the American Banking Association indicated that 85% of us do not find our jobs enjoyable and fulfilling. Are you balancing your work responsibilities with your family’s needs? If you are not, what is the answer?

In most cases the answer is following the 80-20 Rule. This is the rule that says that 80% of our success comes from 20% of our activity. This was true for Michael. He was having a problem balancing his family time, his time on the job, and time with his favorite activity which is golf. He simply ran out of time.

Michael asked us if we would coach him out of this no-win situation. Because of this conflict and the stress that it created, he was not performing well in any area. However, he was constantly busy. We suggested that he think seriously about the 80-20 Rule. We asked Michael to think about the consequences of the decisions he was making by asking himself these questions: Is what I’m doing really moving me to the results I want? What do I really, really want for my life? What actions will bring me closer to my goals? We know it sounds overly simple, but you will find that when you focus on crystal clear results, the actions needed for their accomplishment will appear.

For Michael the 80/20 Rule served as a daily reminder to focus his time

and energy on the 20 percent that produces results. He didn’t just “work smart,” he worked smart on the right things. As a result, not only did his job become more fulfilling, but a happy family life emerged and he was also able to take a half a day each week to play golf.

Take a look at the areas of your life that seem to be stressful and not fulfilling. How does the 80-20 rule apply to your physical well-being, your finances, your spiritual life, your family, your career? As soon as you discover what is out of balance, refocus on the results you want and take action. Action means change. Remember that the same old actions will bring the same old results.

As professional coaches, we believe in you. We believe you are capable, competent and strong. We believe you have within you everything you need to create your life exactly the way you want it to be.

“To change one’s life: Start immediately,

Do it flamboyantly, No exceptions.”–William James–

Allan and Barbara Kenyon are Personal and Business Coaches who help their clients live their dream life. Allan was a certified instructor for eighteen years with the Carnegie organization and he received coach training with Coach Training Institute. Barbara holds a Masters Degree in Counseling and is a Graduate of Coach U. The Kenyons work with success-minded men and women who want to achieve their personal or professional goals faster than if they were to go it alone. Their clientele include professionals, executives, entrepreneurs, business owners, sales people, and people in transition. Their coaching focuses on goals in the areas of career, money, retirement, health, relationships, getting organized, and life balance.

The Kenyons offer a 30 minute complimentary telephone coaching session so potential clients can decide if their coaching is for them. They can be reached at 402-423-6777 or by E-mail at KenyonCoaching@aol.com. Their website is http://www.kenyoncoaching.com.

Writing to all of you has been a great source of joy. I love hearing from you and connecting with you on a daily basis. It is a wonderful way for me to begin creating my day. Thank you.

One of my favorite writers, Wallace D. Wattles, has some fabulous reasons as to why gratitude is a key ingredient for success.

As creative beings we realize that All things are born out of a creative force. This unseen creativity is immense and powerful. It is energy made manifest. Money also is energy made manifest. The more energy you express creatively, the more comes into your world in the form of riches, or money.

Wattles writes, “If it is a new thought to you that gratitude brings your whole mind into closer harmony with the creative energies of the universe, consider it well, and you will see that it is true.

“The good things you already have, have come to you along the line of obedience to certain laws. Gratitude will lead your mind out along the ways by which things come; and it will keep you in close harmony with creative thought and prevent you from falling into competitive thought.”

Being competitive wipes out any sparks of creativity. Being grateful instantaneously attracts a movement of blessings towards you. “The law of gratitude is the natural principle that action and reaction are equal, and in opposite directions.

“But the value of gratitude does not consist solely in getting you more blessings in the future. Without gratitude you cannot long

keep from dissatisfied thought regarding things as they are.”

He is saying that if you feel dissatisfied, switch gears, then find something, anything that you are grateful for. This alone transforms the unproductive energy of dissatisfaction into the wealth-producing energy of appreciation.

“It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you; and to give thanks continuously.”

And this next bit is really important. “And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”

Wow. What does this mean?

Well, take this moment to reflect on all that has happened to you. If you really look closely, every event has formed you into the beautiful, creative being you are today. So don’t look back in judgment. Give thanks even to those who you may have previously felt don’t deserve it.

You see, a judgmental world is a sad, depressive world. A world of gratitude is a joyous, peaceful, infinitely creative world. Only you can choose which world fits your needs.

Just remember. What you want wants you too. And being thankful for even the smallest event triggers a joyful creative force that may otherwise lay dormant forever. This creative force manifests into wealth thus allowing you, the creator, the freedom and joy to be all you can be.

Copyright 2005 Tania French

Tania French is a composer who has enjoyed performances and radio broadcasts of her music worldwide. Her new CD “Renewal” (released January 1, 2006) features a rejuvenating fusion of new age, classical, and world music.Subscribe to her popular newsletter at http://www.prosperousartist.com.© 2005 Tania French. All Rights Reserved.

Because that is the time when I can hear my inner voice most clearly.

Sometimes it is just a knowing. A realization that cuts through the noise to reveal how I truly feel about something or someone.

It picks apart puzzling dilemmas and offers creative solutions.

It is at the time before I have fully awakened and left the world of dreams, that messages from some deep place percolate to the surface.

It is a peaceful time. It is easy to be sensitive to the rhythms of the body, the sounds of the quiet inner voice.

Shortly, the shrill ring of the telephone will shatter the stillness and redirect my energy to external concerns. My attention will then belong to the client on the other end of the line.

But for these few precious minutes, I savor the calm.

We function best when we make time to be both active and still. The demands of being making a living, raising a family, draw us toward motion and activity. But my observation is that we nourish ourselves and become more productive when we include the contributions of

our inner voice.

Upon awakening, while still dwelling in that netherworld between consciousness and unconsciousness, the neatly packaged solution to some petty problem floats up into my mind. Whole articles with their sentences quietly arranged in perfect rows hang in the air.

A perfect turn of a phrase, the solution to a knotty problem with a difficult client, the working out of the composition of an illustration … such jewls are the gifts of the inner mind.

They are fragile bubbles that pop when exposed to the direct morning sun. The trick is to capture the quiet voices before they are drowned by the noise of daily activity.

By extending the quiet time a little longer I can sit at my computer and transcribe those thoughts.

Some say artists and intuitives hear it loudest. But we all have an inner voice. And it speaks to us. All we must do is listen.

Ellen Zucker’s site, selfemployment101.com, provides helpful articles and resources to help the creative sole-proprietor earn a living and create a life.

Ellen has been successfully self-employed for the past 10 years.Her company, Faces & Fortunes, http://www.facesandfortunes.com, provides caricature and psychic entertainment to parties and special events in the Philadelphia area.

We were rushing out of the house for a trip a few years back. The last time I had used it was hours ago that morning, and had left it on the ironing bourd in the bed room. I didn’t knowLauren had used it just a moment before.

I’ve never dropped anything so fast before or since!

Most of you are probably a whole lot smarter than me and have never picked up a hot iron. At the same time, I bet everyone has had the experience of picking up something hot, getting burned, and dropping it right away.

Would it make any sense to keep holding something hot like that? Of course not.

That’s why we drop them so quickly.

Then why do we hold on so tightly to hot emotional issues and allow them to keep burning us?

Yet we do it all the time. Something inconvenient, bad, or even traumatic occurs, and we hold on to it for dear life. I’ve worked with people who had experienced trauma and were doing fairly well not too long after. I’ve also worked with people who had experienced trauma years and years ago, yet it seemed as if it had just happened.

How to Hold On

Holding on to something that is burning us requires a lot of conscious attention, just like flunking gym class in school. Here’s a few “tips” for holding on:

*Play the situation or offense over and over in your mind.

Be sure to make a little “mental movie” for your own viewing pleasure.

*Make sure it’s the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing you think of at night.

*Tell everyone who will give you an ear the whole entire story, in play by play detail.

*Make it the defining moment in your life.

*Isolate yourself from other people

*Rant and rave about the injustice and unfairness of it all.

*Look at yourself as a victim.

How to Drop It

Just as holding on to something requires conscious attention, dropping something requires a conscious decision. Here’s a few tips for dropping it:

*as stated above, decide to. You must decide to do it before any ot the other tips will work.

*take away from it what you can learn, leave behind anything else.

*find a symbol of the event and burn it, bury it, or both. I know this might sound a little silly, but it works.

*remember the saying “Success comes from good judgement. Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.”

*and perhaps the most important: make a place for it in your life, because it did happen. And then put it in it’s place, which is behind you.

Hold on and get burned or drop it and move on. It’s a choice.

And it’s yours to make.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

When I think about the kind of person I want to be when I die, the question that is most pressing to me is this: Did I do my best?

To me this means two things: 1) Given my current strengths and weaknesses, knowledge and skills, and internal and external resources, do I consider myself at this moment to be the best human being I am capable of being? 2) Am I making the best contribution I am capable of making with my life?

Those two questions have helped me handle the mortality conundrum. They account for the possibility that I could die at any time and for the fact that much of life is outside my control. I feel I can die at peace with myself if I can answer yes to these questions.

Whenever my life reaches the point where I cannot honestly answer yes to both questions, I know I’m off track. And by probing into why I fail these tests, it becomes clear to me what I must change in order to restore the yes.

Whenever I can answer yes, I know I am at peace with the possibility of death at any time. And to me this translates into a feeling of being at peace with life itself.

At this particular moment, I feel I can honestly answer yes. But I also know that at many times in the past I’ve had to answer no. And

most likely at some point in the future, I’ll find myself again answering no. When that happens I will have lost my sense of peace and will once again need to summon the courage necessary to regain it.

“Doing your best” is not a static destination. It’s an ongoing journey. Sometimes you’ll lose the path on your own. Other times you’ll be thrown from the path by forces outside your control. Either way it can be difficult to return to the what you feel is your very best path, especially if you’ve been away from it for so long.

In any situation the greatest good you can do is your best. I believe that when you know you are doing your best, regardless of what happens to you that is beyond your control, you will be able to retain a pervasive sense of inner peace. You can ask for nothing more than to be doing your very best at this particular moment in time. If you have that, you want for nothing. And if you want for nothing, the natural consequence is peace.

Copyright © Steve Pavlina

Steve Pavlina

Personal Development for Smart People

http://www.stevepavlina.com

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog (blog)

http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles (articles)

Steve is intensely growth-oriented. He trained in martial arts, ran the L.A. Marathon, and graduated from college in three semesters with two degrees. He can juggle, count cards at blackjack, and make damn good guacamole. Steve is also a polyphasic sleeper, sleeping just 2-3 hours per day and only 20 minutes at a time. So chances are good that he’s awake right now.

See if the following list of strategies can help your family learn to gain control of their time:

1. Hold a Family Meeting

• First parents need to objectively determine some initial priorities for their family. These need to be based upon last years schedule, the individual family member’s personalities, finances, current commitments and the comfort level of the family. Some questions that will guide this process are: Do they want to focus on activities or academics based upon last years performances? Will the demands of school or work change? Do they want to fill time with activities or a balance of activities and free time? Do different family members have different needs? Is everyone enjoying their schedules? Is there time for friends, for family, for quiet time, for reading, or for playing?

• Once the family guidelines are determined, hold the meeting and give everyone a chance to choose one or two priorities for the session or year. If one member is having trouble narrowing their list down, have them put them in order of importance. Make sure everyone shares their list and explains why they put it in that order.

2. Create a Family Calendar

• Get a large calendar and input everyone’s current schedules for the upcoming month into it.

• Add or remove commitments based upon everyone’s priorities determined in the family meeting.

• Make sure this calendar includes school hours and activities, work schedules, activity schedules, religious events, family time, mealtime, homework time, sleep time and most importantly NON-scheduled time.

• Take into account hidden time- travel time, preparation/clean up time, waiting time, etc.

• Determine where conflicts lie ­ and as a family see if you can figure out solutions. Maybe one child can suggest a friend they could car pool with, maybe another can walk to their activity, or maybe one can bring their homework along and do it while their sibling is in a lesson.

• Depending on the comfort level of the family ­ activities may need to be removed or postponed. Some families thrive on

being busy while others need to have a more relaxed schedule.

• Make sure that everyone is in agreement or can live with the schedule.

• Try it for one month and then have another meeting and evaluate the schedule. Make sure it works for everyone and make necessary changes.

How to Handle Those Schedules and Not Waste TIme

Once the priorities and scheduling are done, there are few things that families need to do to make sure that they can handle their schedules and not waste their precious time.

ESTABLISH ROUTINES ­ If everyone follows a routine that works, life will run much smoother. Some areas where routines are a must are: before and after school, homework time, chores and meals.

ELIMINATE CLUTTER ­ Looking for things wastes a lot of time. Have set places for the things you use daily ­ keys, school items, library books, bags, purses, lunch kits, etc.

DEAL WITH PAPER IMMEDIATELY ­ Read and recycle mail right at the mailbox, write all pertinent information off school papers, newsletters, mail, flyers, etc on your family calendar and recycle them.

AVOID PERFECTIONSISM ­ Aim for completion and excellence. A little dust or a wrinkle won’t hurt.

LIMIT DETAILS ­ We have so many choices available to us in life. Limit the decisions you offer your family. Ask questions like “Would you prefer a peanut butter or ham sandwich?” rather than “What do you want for lunch?”

TIME WASTERS ­ Limit the amount of time family members do the following: watch TV, play video games, surf the Internet, or talk on the phone ­ unless you are a teenage girl!

When we have children in school, we can’t help but be busy. But being busy with things that are important to us is very different than being overwhelmed by disarray. If we take the time as a family to determine our priorities and work together to eliminate time wasters, we will be in control of our time!

Tracy Lyn Moland, B. Ed, is a Mom Expert. From having written the best selling Mom Management, Managing Mom Before Everybody Else (tgot, 2003) to being a highly sought after consultant on the trillion dollar Mom Market, her advice and information has been featured in over 300 media outlets and to many conferences and corporations. For more information on Tracy Lyn’s consulting or presentations please visit http://www.TracyLynMoland.com

AR Fitness Tips – diet plan, exercises, weight loss and gain muscles latest information.

Neurobiologists Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki of University College in London used fMRI brain scans to peer into the brains of college students in the throes of that crazed, “can’t-think-of-anything-else” stage of early romantic love.

When the subjects were shown photographs of their sweethearts, the fMRI images showed that four parts of their brains “lit up.”

The researchers compared the MRI images to brain scans taken from people in different emotional states, including sexual arousal, feelings of happiness and cocaine-induced euphoria. But the pattern for romantic love was unique.

Interestingly, looking at a picture of their loved one also reduced activity in three portions of the brain active when one is upset or depressed.

** Is Love Addictive?

When you fall in love your skin flushes, you breathe heavy, and your palms tend to sweat.

Why? Because your brain is experiencing a biochemical rush of dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine – all close chemical cousins to amphetamines.

But it’s easy to build up a tolerance to these stimulating biochemicals.

Then, as with any other tolerance, it takes more of the substance to get that special feeling of infatuation.

Some neuroscientists theorize that folks who jump from one new relationship to another are biochemically “hooked” on the intoxication of falling in love.

But interestingly, in the case of enduring romance, the presence of one’s partner stimulates the production of endorphins. Endorphins are the “feel good” biochemicals that also generate “runner’s high.” They are also natural pain-killers.

** The Biology of “Romance”

Recent research suggests that romantic attraction is actually a primitive, biologically-based drive just like hunger or thirst.

The biology of romance helps account for why we might travel cross-country for a single kiss, and plunge into hopeless despair if our beloved turns from us. It’s the drive for romance that enables us to focus on one particular person, although we often can’t explain why.

“What we’re seeing here is the biological drive to choose a mate … to focus on one person to the exclusion of all others,” claims Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University.

Research has proven that romantic attraction activates portions of the brain with high concentrations of receptors for dopamine, Fisher explains. And dopamine is the brain’s “chemical messenger” connected to states of euphoria, craving and

addiction.

Other scientific studies have linked high levels of dopamine (and a related agent — norepinephrine) to heightened attention and short-term memory, hyperactivity, sleeplessness and goal-oriented behavior.

Sound like love?

When they first fall in love, Fisher explains, couples often show the signs of surging dopamine: Increased energy, less need for sleep or food, and highly focused attention.

** The Psychology of Love

Poets and song writers have long claimed that the power of the biochemical state we call “romantic love” is enough to blind one’s judgment. And we all know how new lovers tend to idealize their partner — magnifying their virtues, and explaining away their flaws.

But although “love may be blind,” take hope!

Pamela Regan, a Cal State LA researcher, believes such “idealization” may be crucial to building a long-term relationship. “If you don’t sweep away the person’s flaws to some extent, you’re just as likely to end a relationship,” she claims.

“This at least gives you a chance,” Regan feels. “If you think of romantic attraction as a kind of drug that alters how you think, then in this case it’s allowing you to take some risks you wouldn’t otherwise take.”

Not a bad thing!

But if passionate romance is like a drug, as the MRI images suggest, then it’s bound to lose its kick. But perhaps viewing romance as a biologically based, drug-like state can at least provide some balm for a broken heart.

** Healthy Romanticizing

In a 1996 experiment, psychologists at the State University of New York at Buffalo followed a group of 121 dating couples. Every few months the couples answered questionnaires to determine how much they idealized their partner, and how well their relationship was doing.

The researchers discovered that the couples who idealized each other the most were closest one year later.

© 2004 All Rights Reserved

The author, Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler, is a doctor of psychology, pioneer brain/mind researcher, and former advisor to the Pentagon, a Presidential Commission, and numerous top executives and executive teams. The author of several books and hundreds of articles, she is also the co-founder of quantum-self.com, and the Creative Director of the Self Discovery Community. She can be reached at: drjill@quantum-self.com

Come visit the exciting Self Discovery Community. Discover the most interesting, unusual, stimulating and creative methods of self discovery on the web today! Free sizzling weekly ezine, and the web’s first Brain Gym ezone. http://www.quantum-self.com

Tiny Love Toys

Cartier Love Ring

The trouble is the vast majority of leaders don’t delve into the deep aspects of human motivation and so are unable to motivate people effectively.

Drill down through goals and aims and aspirations and ambitions and you hit the bedrock of motivation, the dream. Many leaders fail to take it into account.

Dreams are not goals and aims. Goals are the results toward which efforts are directed. The realization of a dream might contain goals, which can be stepping stones on the way to the attaining dreams. But the attainment of a goal does not necessarily result in the attainment of a dream.

For instance, Martin Luther King did not say, “I have a goal.” Or “I have an aim.” The power of that speech was in the “I have a dream”.

Dreams are not aspirations and ambitions. Aspirations and ambitions are strong desires to achieve something. King didn’t say he had an aspiration or ambition that ” ….one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’” He said he had a dream.

If you are a leader speaking to people’s aspirations and ambitions, you are speaking to something that motivates them, yes; but you are not necessarily tapping into the heartwood of their motivation.

After all, one might aspire or be ambitious to achieve a dream. But one’s aspiration and ambition may also be connected to things of lesser importance than a dream.

A dream embraces our most cherished longings. It embodies our very identity. We often won’t feel fulfilled as human beings until we realize our dreams.

If leaders are avoiding people’s dreams, if leaders are simply setting goals (as important as goals are), they miss the best of opportunities to help those people take ardent action to achieve great results.

When Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence that “Governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed,” he was writing about a dream. Not one European government at that time was a democracy. There had been few true democracies in the West since the fall of the Athenian democracy more than 2,000 thousand years before. But Jefferson’s “dream” motivated people to take action. In fact, that dream motivates people to act around the world today.

Understand the dreams of the people you lead. People will not tell you what they dream until they trust you. They won’t trust you until they feel that you can help them attain their dreams. Acquiring that understanding can cement a deep, emotional bond between you.

Dreams are not fantasies. Going to the mountain may be a dream. Standing on the mountain may be a dream. On the other hand, having the mountain come to us is a fantasy. Dreams can be realized, fantasies can’t.

Focus on dreams, on what is objectively achievable, not on fantasies.

Dreams are positive, uplifting. The Old English word “dream” means “joy, music, and noise-making.” But that positive, inspirational quality can have negative effects on an organization.

Negative dreams can damage an organization. For instance, union/management issues are often particularly inflammatory because of conflicting dreams, of both sides seeing the other as “the enemy.” Your audience wanting to go back to the “good old days” can be a negative dream. Only a trusted leader can help people reshape their dreams.

Most people have a dream for their life and work. Even people in abject circumstances, such as prisons and concentration camps, dream of a fulfilling existence beyond their present circumstances. If they lose their dreams, they lose an essential quality of their humanity.

People won’t be transformed by your leadership if you have a low opinion of and low expectations for their dream and/or if they are convinced that you can’t help them attain that dream.

Many people don’t consciously realize what they dream. But that doesn’t mean that they are not influenced by their subconscious dream. A subconscious dream can motivate people to act without their clearly understanding why they are acting. Have the people you lead be fully conscious of the content and meaning of their dream or risk having your organization’s activities be impeded by a dimly perceived yet none-the-less potent dream.

Each dream has a price. It’s one thing to think it. It’s another thing to do it. Know the price people will have to pay to attain their dream. Have them understand the price.

As a leader, dream with the people! Without hitching our wagons to stars, the wagons and the stars lose their true meaning in our lives.

Dreams give meaning to emotion and purpose to action. People who believe they’re living their dream see their jobs as part of a higher cause and will work accordingly. Conversely, people who see their jobs as antithetical to their dream, may see that work as oppressive; and they too will work accordingly.

Dreams are supreme reality. Dream graffiti on a Paris wall during the 1968 student rebellion said, “Be realistic: Do the impossible!”

2005 © The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. All rights reserved.

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not required: mail to: brent@actionleadership.com

The author of 23 books, Brent Filson’s recent books are, THE LEADERSHIP TALK: THE GREATEST LEADERSHIP TOOL and 101 WAYS TO GIVE GREAT LEADERSHIP TALKS. He is founder and president of The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. – and for more than 20 years has been helping leaders of top companies worldwide get audacious results. Sign up for his free leadership e-zine and get a free white paper: “49 Ways To Turn Action Into Results,” at http://www.actionleadership.com

Well, I hope to help you start at the beginning to capture moments of time that will help you build a foundation to support that very busy, goal directed life. How can you focus on the process of living, be able to stay in and gain those moments of time as you are trying to reach your extraordinary goals?

What is a moment in time for you? How do you capture that moment? Are you even able to find a moment in time for you? The Buddhists talk about staying in the moment, Kodak would like to sell you that moment and Hollywood movies reflect that moment…. How might you capture that moment when you are struggling with doing laundry, taking the kids to a soccer game, planning dinner, trying to finish the task you started at work and you have been wanting to try that new thigh exercise you saw in the magazine yesterday. Multi tasking certainly is the norm for most women today and not the exception.

Your optimum health is dependent on seeking moments in time on a daily basis. Moments in time will lead to freedom, increase your ability to enjoy the process of life, lower your stress level and they will help you grow. Living today, for the vast majority of women, is complex and fast paced. Capturing a moment in time will help you to slow that pace so that you can enjoy all of your life not just the spare moment at 11:00PM that you have waited for all day!

As an example we often are so busy that we are not able to take the time or moment to truly connect with others. What is that about? When we are in a hurry we do the standard

-”Hi, how are you?” Then move on to the next event or task often without really hearing or connecting with the other person’s answer. What might happen if you stopped for a moment and asked that question of someone with the intent of standing there and really listening to the answer? Would it detract from your day? It might add value and a connection with someone that would benefit both of you.

So to take that moment in time – here are a couple of ideas:

• Call a friend you have not seen for a month.

• Talk to a stranger – ask them a simple question such as “Where are you going today?” and really listen to the answer.

• Sit still for a moment and just breath, breath, breath.

All of us are over-stimulated on a daily basis. Think advertising, TV, Nintendo, traffic, ambient noise…. All of these create a need to shut down some of our senses and withdraw. We simply cannot attend to everything around us. But how sad to miss the sounds of a bird or the ocean because you need to screen out daily sounds that are annoying. Where is our ability to stay in the moment and grow under those circumstances? Here are a few more ideas to help you find a quiet, no matter how small, moment in time:

• Turn off the TV for 15 minutes.

• Laugh – read the comics or rent a Laurel & Hardy movie.

• Read a good book – by “good” I mean anything you enjoy.

• Take a walk alone – you can go for just 15 minutes.

A moment in time does not need to be large, extended or planned. Just let it happen even if for only those few seconds of breathing, breathing, breathing. It will give you back a sense of who you are and more energy to reach your goals.

Just take a deep breath!

About The Author

Suzanne Berg LCSW

“Life is Juicy”

Life Coach/Psychotherapist

sudi@anaturalwoman.com

Learn more by visiting my website:

www.anaturalwoman.com

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