Self improvement tips

Being A Born Leader Means Nothing Unless You Are A Growing Leader

Posted by admin on 05/11/2012 None comments

I’ve lost number of the times I have heard someone referred to as a born leader. The debate has been had as to whether being a leader is something you are born with or not – and to be honest I think the answer is ‘yes’ and ‘no’.

To a degree we are all leaders. If, as John Maxwell puts it “Leadership is influence, nothing more and nothing else” then we are all leaders. After all, everyone has some level of influence along the line. Couple that with the fact that being a leader means we have at least one follower – then again ‘yes’ we are all leaders – even if it’s self leadership.

The issue isn’t whether you are a leader or not – anyone can claim that title. It’s what you do with your leadership that counts. A leader can march their people into a deep chasm by simply doing nothing. Leadership is measured by the markers on the journey. It’s not where you take them but how you got them there and the shape they were in when they arrived that demonstrates great leadership.

But being a born leader is not the same as being a growing leader.

A growing leader inspires so much more. I would rather follow a growing leader than a born leader. For me leadership is organic; it is a continual process of development and change. It’s not an exact science – it’s a response to people and purpose. It demands consistent input, shaping and tweaking.

In my experience, people who describe themselves as born leaders tend to assume a right to lead, either because of job title or past

success. As we know, leadership is not a right to assume, but an honor to earn. When push comes to shove and the hard times roll, your team doesn’t care what you did in your last post, it doesn’t matter what you have achieved – what counts is what you are demonstrating now.

Growing leaders establish trust. As people see you are developing, responding and moving forward they are inspired to follow. In the end, words are hollow, direction is meaningless and inspiration is short lived unless there is evidence that it is changing the leader.

Just recently I saw a programme on TV called ‘Make Slough Happy’ (Slough is a town in the UK). Although I only watched the last in the series, I was fascinated by the story of a small company that sold tools. In all the years the team had worked there, the MD/Owner had never had a meeting with them all together. It was an extraordinary scenario to watch, and virtually impossible to believe. The MD was the leader – but he wasn’t leading.

In the end, the meeting nearly didn’t happen. Why? – The team was scared that if they said anything negative it would have repercussions. The MD/owner was cynical to start with about the necessity of meeting with his team, but eventually decided to go along with it. In the end, the meeting happened and it was a great success. It made that part of Slough ‘happy’. It seemed to me that meeting with his team was possible his first act of genuine leadership. Why? Because he changed.

For more Leadership input go to Generous Leadership

Overcoming Overwhelm

Posted by admin on 05/10/2012 None comments

My interest is in bringing wellness to life and overwhelm inhibits wellness. Some people are naturally good at managing their lives. Others appear to lack simple self management skills so their effectiveness is reduced and their stress levels are increased. This latter group are often impulsive, they fail to plan, they are disorganised and they are frequently overwhelmed to the point of stasis and eventually they manifest physical illnesses as a result.

This article gives tips and techniques which, when adopted into the lives of the serially overwhelmed, will assist them to organise themselves, their lives and their possessions thereby freeing up time, energy and mental capacity; ensuring they have the best chance of enjoying Wellness for Life.

1. When feeling overwhelmed resist the temptation to initiate large changes in your life. When you are overwhelmed you are not in the right frame of mind to make important decisions.

2. Free up some time for you. This is thinking time, relaxation time or planning time.

3. Find a cleaner, an ironing lady or a babysitter anything which buys you a little more time and energy

4. Eliminate energy drains in your life. These may be situations, people or your own procrastination

5. Reduce your expenditure and save extra money. Even if money appears to be the root of the overwhelm it is important to build a reserve even the smallest sum saved each week is better than nothing

6. Resist the temptation to set yourself new goals. Focus on reducing the current situation of overwhelm to immediately improve quality of life before taking on any new challenges

7. Give yourself permission to put yourself first. Delegate tasks where possible at work and at home

8. Make a commitment to leave your place of work at a reasonable time every evening. This will allow you time with your family and friends and time to relax. You will find that you will get more done in less time as your commitment to leave at a specific time will make you more focused and more productive during the working day

9. Arrange fewer meetings. These may be business or social. Do not cram your calendar full of appointments allow yourself some buffer time to catch up

10. Recognise that there is more to life than your career or your work. Avoid the trap of investing too much of your time in work searching for something that cannot be found there – your life

11. Ensure you get enough sleep. Tiredness is the shortest route to feelings of overwhelm

12. Eat a balanced diet and eat regularly. It is essential to provide fuel for the body if the body is to supply you with sufficient energy for the day

13. Always take your holidays from work. Resist the temptation to accept payments in lieu (even if it’s offered). You need this holiday time to recharge your physical, emotional and spiritual reserves

14. Recognise that the acquisition of more is a myth. Having it all is not all it would appear to be – it does not bring happiness, instead it brings high levels of stress and lots of responsibility

15. Make friends with yourself again. Get to know yourself again. What makes you tick? Start a journal, choose a journal which pleases you, something which gives you pleasure. Use your journal to start a dialogue with yourself. If you find it difficult to get started, think about acknowledging the things you’re most grateful for or most afraid of or most challenged by

16. Book an appointment with yourself one evening every week. Make this

a regular date and use the time for self care. Write the appointments in your diary or Mark your calendar – this is a non-negotiable date

17. Make your health a priority. Do not wait until illness strikes before you start taking care of yourself. Prevention really is better than cure

18. Take care of your emotional health. Know what makes you feel good and build it into your day

19. Take care of your relationships. Spend time with people who are important to you

20. Take care of your spiritual well-being. This will mean something different for everyone from regular religious worship to meditation or simply spending time close to nature

21. Have fun. Having fun is not frivolous it is just as important as the time we spend working. Use your journal to explore where and how you are bringing fun into your life

22. Be generous with your “self”. This is not a large request for action or a large time commitment. Demonstrate a generous spirit in small ways perhaps by holding a door open for someone or assisting an elderly person with their shopping anything which will encourage a smile in return

23. Slow down. Be aware of your whole body throughout the day. Avoid the temptation of just residing in your head. Keep your attention on the here and now. Talk more slowly, write more slowly and walk more slowly

24. Get your priorities straight. Look at where you are spending the most of your time and ask yourself if this makes sense. Define your priorities and arrange your diary around them

25. Acknowledge that you have no power to manage time. You can only manage yourself and the way you use time

26. Be aware of how often you agree to something when you would rather not. Put space between a request for your time and your response

27. Take daily breaks and allow yourself to just be. Practise doing nothing just for five minutes and teach yourself how to be still instead of always been busy

28. Identify what is sapping your energy. Procrastination often takes more energy than action

29. Deal with money problems. Acknowledge all debt and work out a realistic repayment plan. Avoid incurring further debt as debt and the worry caused by debt is one of the biggest energy drains

30. Deal with anything that has been left incomplete or unresolved from the past. These issues hold you back and leave no energy available for the present

31. Identify the people who continuously drain your energy. Either re-negotiate the basis of your relationship with them or ease them out of your life

32. Handle all outstanding communication. Return phone calls, e-mails and letters which may be outstanding

33. Maintain your home. Get on and do those niggling jobs which are annoying you. Fix the door which regularly sticks, replace the washer in the dripping tap and clear out the old newspapers and magazines

34. Sort through your clothes. Clean, repair or alter any you are keeping. Clothes which are worn out, no longer fit or are no longer required should be cleared out and either given to a charity shop, a good friend or binned

35. De-clutter your home. Go through cupboards, outbuildings and the loft. Creating physical space will also permit mental space

Donetta Harrison is building http://www.wellnessforlife.info, an information resource on all aspects of wellness in all domains of life, to encourage individuals to take responsibility for their health and wellbeing in order that that they may live life to the full. More Information from wellnessforlife@btinternet.com.

Creativity: The Key To Getting More Done In Less Time

Posted by admin on 05/08/2012 None comments

If your to-do list seems as long at the end of the day as it did at the start (or worse yet, longer!) then you could definitely use an injection of creativity in your work day.

Here are five simple ways of using your creativity to improve the quality of your day:

1) Stop banging your head against the wall — A good chunk of the time people waste in a day is due to stressing over the same problems that face them day after day. When you have a problem that you don’t know how to solve, you get paralyzed, get inefficient, and get overwhelmed. Not only do you not solve the problem, but you also start to slack off in other areas. The key is to get out of that state by using your creativity to generate more solutions to your problem. Here’s one way — sit down at a table with a blank sheet of paper. Write your problem across the top, and then force yourself to fill the page with possible solutions. Don’t worry about how feasible or crazy your ideas are; you will be tapping your creativity and empowering yourself. Just keep the pen moving until you fill the page. This will free you from overwhelm and let you go about your day. Also, the new solution to your problem may very well be on that page!

2) Stop wasting time — If you have been at your job for any period of time, you probably have a routine. Routines are great because they are safe, but once in a routine you run the risk of missing out on ways of doing it better. The worst answer you can give about why you do something is to say, ‘that’s the way I’ve always done it.’ Keep your mind, eyes, and ears open for new and more efficient ways of doing things. Even if you can save 15 minutes on 4 daily tasks, that’s one extra hour every day. Question and examine your routines!

3) Love your job, even if you hate it — It’s extremely difficult to be productive if you are unhappy. This leads to an ugly cycle: you don’t like your job, so you are less efficient, so work piles up which adds stress, so you like your job even less, and so on

and so on. If, for whatever reason, you choose to stay at a job you hate, then at least find ways of enjoying it. How does one do this? I don’t know; it depends on you. This is why you have to use your creativity. You can listen to music, or set up your environment you enjoy, or work on a special project that fulfills you, etc. Life is too short to be unhappy for 1/3 of it; use your creativity to bring happiness, fulfillment, and joy into your day.

4) Get someone else to do it — Here’s an interesting fact: for every task you hate to do and are not good at doing, there’s someone else out there who enjoys doing it. And, for every task you love to do and are great at, there’s somebody out there who hates doing it. Find someone who hates doing what you love and loves doing what you hate, and you both can benefit immensely. You’ll both get more done in less time and be happier doing it.

5) Get what needs to be done done — This is the simplest technique that is the least used. Take a look at what you need to do today. Take a look at the item that would have the biggest positive impact on your day/life/business. This should be your number one priority. Do it first and get it done, even if other things don’t get done. The challenge is that this is probably something you don’t want to do (otherwise it would be done already). Get creative, get focused, and set up your day and schedule to work on your high priority tasks first, and you will get more done in less time than ever before.

There you go. Get out there, start using your creativity, stop wasting time, and spend more time doing what’s important to you and your business.

Avish Parashar has a refreshingly unique approach to speaking and training: identify the fundamentals of success and then give people the tools to implement those fundamentals. Avish’s approach can be deceptive; it’s fun, funny, interactive, engaging, entertaining, and ridiculously simple. Success isn’t complicated, it’s simple. So visit the web site to learn more about the “Ridiculously Simple Ideas That Everybody Needs and Nobody Uses.”

Learn More:http://www.avishparashar.com

Free Creativity Mini-Course:http://www.avishparashar.com/creativity-free-minicourse.html

Helping Others Develop Their Potential

Posted by admin on 05/07/2012 None comments

Most of us find ourselves in a position to help others achieve more of their potential than we realize. Sure, as leaders, supervisors, and parents we can see ourselves in that position; but the fact is that all of us are uniquely qualified to help at least one other person in our lives reach their potential. I believe it is part of our purpose in life to serve others in this way – to encourage and support people we care about in becoming their best selves.

Many books (some of which sit on my bookcases) have been written about coaching and helping people develop their skills. This article won’t be a definitive list, but it will share my perspective on the essential ingredients in helping others reach their potential.

Help Them See

The first step in developing the potential in others is for the “others” to recognize that they have potential and to know for themselves what it is! We’ve already talked about his but you can’t forget it – it is a critical step. Our goal should be to help them get where they want to go – even if their vision is slightly different from ours.

Potential is about passion. If people don’t have passion for the future they see, they are much less likely to get there (and likely it isn’t the right future!)

Be Them Focused

Many years ago I had a manager who saw great things in my future. He was very supportive of helping me reach his vision. While I will always be grateful to him for seeing potential in me, I continue to shake my head at his approach. He never wanted to know what I saw for myself and my future, instead, he assumed I would want to become what he saw for me. Even when I tried to explain to him that our visions didn’t match, he focused on providing me opportunities and support that were right for his vision, not mine.

Remember that you are helping people reach their potential, helping them discover their agenda and goals. This is not a platform for you to exert your influence based on your belief in them or your vision for them.

Yes, if you are a supervisor or manager you may have organizational goals you hope this person can achieve. Be upfront about those goals, and look for the matches with the person’s passions and unique abilities. Perhaps there is a perfect fit, or maybe the best thing you can do for everyone is help the person move into a new or different role inside or outside of the organization.

To truly serve others in this way we must keep this process completely about them, and not our best judgment, our agenda or our vision for them.

Ask Questions

As a developer of potential our role is to draw the answers from others. Too often we want to share our wisdom and advice. We will be more effective when we spend less time talking and more time asking and listening. Ask people questions about their passions, their ideas regarding their greatest areas of potential, and about the other areas in this article.

Ask questions without bias and questions that encourage the other person to think. Then be patient and keep your mouth shut after you ask. Your only job then is to listen.

Help Them Set Goals

All of us know the value of goal setting, but many of us don’t do it very well or very consistently on our own. We can guide and encourage people to

set them. We can help them define and clarify these goals through the questions we ask. Help people describe their current situation then set goals that will stretch them from their current reality towards their potential.

Use your questioning skills throughout this process and encourage people to write their goals down.

Help Them Identify Options and Opportunities

As a part of the goal setting process, people should begin to identify some options to help them reach the goal. Here is where you can begin to provide more direct advice. Perhaps you have experience that you can share to help them identify approaches they can use. Perhaps if you are in the role of a supervisor, you can offer specific training or learning experiences to help them.

At least as important though, is that you are now in a unique position to help them in the future because you know their goals and their vision. As time goes by you will be become aware of situations, courses, lectures, books, people and all manner of other things that will help that person advance towards their goals. Make sure you share those ideas and opportunities with them.

Provide Support

If we want to help people reach their potential, we know they need support. They need encouragement, advice and even feedback.

You expected me to mention feedback, and it is very important. Sometimes though, people have more feedback than they want or need. What they are often lacking is encouragement. Be a person who is supportive, interested and encouraging and you will provide great value to others.

Be a Model

Want to help others reach their potential? The most important thing you can do is be on that same path for yourself. Model the behaviors you are encouraging in them. Have your own development goals. Be a willing and eager learner. Be open and flexible to new opportunities yourself.

You will have much greater influence and much more success in developing others if you are serious about developing yourself first.

Taken individually each of the suggestions above can be a powerful aid to you in helping others reach their potential. Taken together they will astound both you and those you are helping. The best way to apply these ideas is to get started. Identify at least one of these suggestions that you will implement today.

Getting started is often the toughest step. Seeing the success that comes with action will encourage you to continue. Doing it (rather than just shaking your head and agreeing with these ideas) will be both gratifying and life changing – to those you are helping and to you too!

Follow these steps and you are on your way to unleashing the massive potential in others.

I wish you great success.

© 2004, All Rights Reserved, Kevin Eikenberry. Kevin publishes Unleash Your Potential, a free weekly ezine designed to provide ideas, tools, techniques and inspiration to enhance your professional skills. Go to http://www.kevineikenberry.com/uypw/current.asp to read the current issue and subscribe. Kevin is also President of The Kevin Eikenberry Group, a learning consulting company that helps Clients reach their potential through a variety of training, consulting and speaking services. You may contact Kevin at toll free 888.LEARNER.

Love is All You Need

Posted by admin on 05/07/2012 None comments

Boiled down to all of our essence, all we really want is to be loved…by our spouses, by our family, by the people we work with, by everyone. The key to being loved by all of these people is actually quite simple: love yourself first!

So how do you love yourself, why don’t we love ourselves and why is this all you need? Let me start with the last question first: why is all we need to love ourself first? We need to accept ourself, to love ourself, in order to allow ourselves to be loved by others. If we can’t love ourself, can’t be worthy of our own love, how can we expect others to love us? Oh sure, our mom will still love us, and maybe our dad will love us, and yes, grandma and grandpa will still love us. But how deeply will they love us if we can’t love ourselves, if we can’t be open and honest with ourself first? Probably not as deeply as we need them to. We need to choose to love ourself, just like we choose a positive attitude. You’ve done bad things, or had bad things done to you, that make you feel badly. It’s okay and in fact, it’s perfectly normal.

Why don’t we love ourselves? It goes back to the last word in last paragraph: normal. We don’t think the things we do are “normal.” We have unreasonable expectations of ourselves, and this leads us to not love ourselves as we should.

How do we learn to love ourselves? It begins with self-acceptance. Choose

to accept yourself for who you are, warts and all, and then you can open yourself up to sharing your whole self with others.

The next thing to learning to love ourselves is changing our expectations of ourselves. We are only broken people in a broken world, and we are not perfect. We are not to be compared to anyone else, we just are what we are. We’re meant to experience life as it comes, even when it’s not “great” and to learn from our mistakes. I am often SO guilty of not doing this, but I’m working on it. It’s not easy, but with practice, it will get better.

The last thing is honesty. Be honest with where you are right now. Take a minute and write it down. Not the location, but where you are in regards to the various important things in your life. Good and bad things all need to be written down. Once you realize where you are, you’ll realize you have a LOT more to be thankful for than you thought.

So all you need is love…love yourself first, and then open your heart and let others love you too.

Phil Gerbyshak leads a team of IT help desk professionals in Milwaukee, WI, and finds that sharing his knowledge is a crucial component in his success as a leader and as a person. Phil’s personal philosophy is paraphrased from Tim Sanders’ fantastic book Love is the Killer App: “Share your knowledge, your network, and your love. The rest will follow.” Read more of Phil’s musings at http://makeitgreat.org

Tiny Love Toys

Cartier Love Ring

May the Budgie of Happiness Sit on Your Head

Posted by admin on 05/06/2012 None comments

My grandmother, Mimi, was a great solitaire player. My family legacy is mainly memories, so I especially cherish my few tangible mementos. Especially a photograph of Mimi, when she was in her mid-70’s, sitting at the kitchen table, solitaire game in progress and a small green “budgie” (aka parakeet in this country) atop her head.

You need to realize that my grandmother was a lady. She’d been an executive secretary in her working days, and there was a dignity about her that somehow hadn’t translated into subsequent generations. Genteel, she was. Prim. Proper even.

That’s why the budgie picture is such a delight. If it is possible for my grandmother to relax enough to tolerate a bird in her hair – and allow a photograph! — then it is possible for anyone to let go, let down and play. She knew what could happen. She knew what birds do . . . and she yet, let it sit there, let this fragile little creature just be.

The approaching summer will bring opportunities, and if we’re not careful we’ll find ourselves too busy . . . too tired . . . too dignified . . . too preoccupied . . . to step outside the lives of our safe and comfortable everyday. We’ll be too worried about being careful . . . to concerned about acting our age . . . too busy thinking about tomorrow to pay attention today.

And yet: When something knocks on your door and asks, “Can [your name] come out to

play?”, remember. You can’t know if this invitation is one of many or the last one that may come your way. Life is like that.

I have a new bumper sticker that says, “Don’t Postpone Joy.” I think this is what Alice Walker had in mind when she wrote, in The Color Purple, “I think it [irritates] God when you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it” (Those of you who remember the book will realize I’ve tidied up the verb somewhat, although I admit the sentiment was more effective written her way!)

Joy, playfulness, doing your version of letting a budgie sit on your head – these are our human way of saying “thank you” to the Universe for the gift of life – long life, short life, whatever weeks and days and years remain.

So, here’s my summer wish for you: Let the budgie of happiness sit on your head. Recognize there are consequences, but live with it. Let your motto be, “Don’t Postpone Joy.” May room for happiness, make time for play. Every day.

Maureen Killoran, MA, DMin, is a Life Coach who specializes in liberating people’s strengths, values and passion. Don’t miss Maureen’s great new e-workbook, “Spirit Tickling: A Workbook for Curious Souls” — a selection of her absolutely best articles, with questions to encourage your path of personal and spiritual growth. And for ongoing connection and monthly inspiration subscribe to Maureen’s free e-zine, Seeds of Change. http://www.spiritquestcoaching.com

A Lesson in Letting Go

Posted by admin on 05/05/2012 None comments

Do you hear yourself saying?

When I have enough money, I’ll… When I go on vacation, I’ll… As soon as I find the right partner, I’ll… When the house is clean, I’ll be able to… When I can afford a better car, I’ll… When this project is over, I’ll… As soon as I get more clients, I’ll… I can’t leave work, or I’ll… When my kids are grown and moved out,I’ll…

How much of your life do you put on hold?

During coaching sessions, people share their “I’ll’s” with me all the time. The most popular justifications are that they are waiting waiting for the money or the time to magically open up.

Tracking the reasons over a ten year period and finding the bottom line truth, people aren’t hungry enough to do what it takes to find or create the money.

I’m sure you have accomplished many things in your life without money. Thus, why would you believe that these I’ll can’t be on that list as well?

There are five elements involved with achieving prosperity. Money only one of them. Energy (sometimes mislabelled as power), love, time and success are the other four.

Belief underlies this whole process. The belief that you need money to accomplish whatever is on your list. The belief that there are no other options. And so many more. What are your beliefs that are placing your “I’ll’s” on your hold list?

And excellent question. However, until you are aware of what’s on the list, and they are a true want, you don’t open up your vision to their possibilities.

The biggest time I was aware of this in my life was some years back when my father was very ill. He said to me, “Go after your dream, don’t wait for anything.” I’m sure you’ve heard that as well somewhere in your life.

Discussing that further with him, I realized that I didn’t know what I wanted. So I thought. I soon realized that that wasn’t it at all. I just didn’t believe it was possible to “really” live the way I wanted. Since then, I travelled for a year all over the world, attending and teaching at conferences, attending universities, and even personally studying with well-known writers.

And how it all came about was still an awesome miracle to me. Most of the adventure paid for by someone else, or an organization. But I had to take risks, at least they were big risks to me. Sometimes I didn’t know how I was going to get there or back, where I was going to sleep, or what to do in between destinations. In every situation, every instance, things appeared that still leave me spell bound.

And it all began with a little trust and belief. Since this time other amazing adventures appeared, including studying with some of the most amazing people in the world.

Can this happen for you? You bet it can. Dr. Wayne Dyer, Donald Walsh, and Deepak Chopra, three I now call friends, tell you all about it in their books and lectures as well.

What underlies all this? One thing — our belief system. If you believe you must have money in order to do something, then you will need to. You closed the window to possibilities. If you need all the answers before you

start, you will get exactly that, waiting on all the answers to appear.

Have you given up on one of your “I’lls”?

As children, we don’t understand adult situations. We hear this and that and when there are gaps, we toss in whatever is available from our warehouse of experiences. We usually carry this learning experience until we seniors. And there is an awakening when we realize there are less years ahead than behind. A new wisdom emerges.

Until…you…

1. Ask new questions when these beliefs saboteur your success. This is examining that belief. When this occurs, it is important to ask these valuable questions:

(1) What is the belief? You need to name it to claim it. Many times, we don’t want to own that belief — we avoid the ownership. This denial dances around until we can no longer stay behind the way. Until it gets bad enough… we’re broke, eating our loneliness away, and other destructive habits. Learn to name it, this automatically starts the change, then take it one step at a time from that point. Don’t look jump the ocean. Stick your toe in the water. It’s cold water and you need to get used to it a little at a time. Give it daily conscious thought. Just by doing this alone, you build the boat that will cross the ocean.

(2) Does the belief serve me any longer? Did the belief serve you when you were a teenager, and now you are 55? Adjust it for the age.

(3) Who says the belief needs to be this way? What gives them the right to say this? Are they just transferring their own belief to you? Don’t be willing to accept it. Form your own. Give it some space.

(4) Who will be upset if you change this belief? The fear of losing someone, confronting someone on their beliefs is nerve wracking to most people. Do you really need to confront them on it? No. Do you need to tell them they are wrong? No. Do you need to let it go and form your own? Yes.

Take more leaps of faith!

Change your beliefs, every single one that isn’t current serving you. Stop, I’ll’ing…or when’ing.

It takes space to open up and invite abundance and prosperity into your life. If you life is too full with excuses, what ifs, or someday you’ll, there isn’t any room.

Invest in yourself today and every day of your life, not just your money.

Invest in your own energy, your personal power, your love for yourself and others, your time, and your success.

The payoff is the biggest in the world…happiness… living your life now and not later.

Be brave, not much, just a little. Take a leap of faith purposely every day for the next week. When it works, continue the process. One toe at a time.

Create the new space needed to invite abundance in. Go ahead, go in. The waters fine. Stop waiting for the eclipse marks to stop. They stop when you take the leap!

Catherine Franz, a Certified Professional Marketing & Writing Coach, specializes in product development, Internet writing and marketing, nonfiction, training. Newsletters and articles available at: http://www.abundancecenter.com blog: http://abundance.blogs.com

How Are Your Boundaries?

Posted by admin on 05/05/2012 None comments

Are you squandering time and energy because of absent or weak boundaries? Take this simple self-assessment and see how you measure up.

Answer true or false for each of these items:

1. I am generally present, wherever I am. When I’m at work, I’m 100% at work. When I’m home, I’m 100% at home. When I’m in a meeting, I’m in that meeting. When I’m with my kids, I’m with my kids. And so forth.

2. I do not spend time with people I don’t really want to spend time with.

3. I am honest with myself about what I will do and what I will not do.

4. I am clear in my communications with other people about what I will do and what I will not do.

5. I am not pressured into saying “Yes” when I want to say “No”. At work, in my community, at home, in my relationships.

6. People know that I am reliable. If I say I will do something, they know I will deliver.

7. I do not rescue other people.

8. I own my schedule. My schedule does not own me.

SCORING: True = 1 point, False = 0.

Totals:

7-8: You have strong, clear boundaries. Keep up the good work, and trust yourself to know when and where to build new boundaries or strengthen the old ones.

5-6: You

have some strong boundaries and could benefit from strengthening others. Some focused work on your part could deliver huge results for you.

Under 5: You are dissipating precious focus and energy through weak or non-existent boundaries. You can make some quantum leaps in your quality of life if you choose to strengthen these boundaries.

Next Steps: For a boundaries “tune-up” or to check-in about one of the above items, contact me for an initial consultation at no charge.

Sharon Teitelbaum, http://www.stcoach.com, a Work-Life and Career Coach, works with high achieving women with young children, people at mid-career, and professionals seeking greater career satisfaction and work-life balance. She coaches by phone and in person in Boston. Her newsletter, Strategies For Change, offers practical tips for work-life success.

Getting Unstuck Without Coming Unglued: Restoring Work-Life Balance, Sharon’s first book, was published in 2005.

A motivational speaker, Sharon also also delivers keynotes & workshops on work-life issues. Clients include Children’s Hospital Boston, SunLife Financial, Arnold Worldwide, and many parent and alumni groups. She’s been featured in national publications including The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, and Working Mother Magazine.

Married for 30 years, she is the mother of two amazing young women.

Managing Your Fears, Anxieties, Depression, OCD, And Panic Attacks

Posted by admin on 05/04/2012 None comments

What do you do when your fears, anxieties, and depression are stronger than what you can handle? There are times that no matter what you do, your fears have the best of you. As a result, here is a brief list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their every day anxieties, stresses, and fears.

When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, divide the task into a series of smaller steps and then complete each of the smaller tasks one at a time. Completing these smaller tasks will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

Sometimes we get stressed out when everything happens all at once. When this happens, take a deep breathe and try to find something to do for a few minutes to get your mind off of the problem. A person can get some fresh air, listen to some music, or do an activity that will give them a fresh perspective on things.

Sometimes we encounter a scary situation that gets us all upset. When encountering these events, always remember to get all of the facts of the given situation. Gathering the facts can prevent us from relying on exaggerated and fearful assumptions. By focusing on the facts, a person can rely on what is reality and what is not.

In dealing with your anxieties, learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning

how to deal with your problems. You never know when the answers you are looking for will come to your doorstep. We may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.

At times, a person might encounter a fearful thought that may be difficult to manage. When this happens, visualize a red stop sign, which can serve as a reminder to stop thinking about that thought. Regardless of how scary the thought may be, do not dwell on it. This technique is good in dealing with obsessive and scary thoughts.

Sometimes, it helps to be able to talk to someone about our stressful situations. Talking to a trusted friend, counselor, or clergyman can not only make us feel better, but they can give you additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. Managing your fears and anxieties takes practice. In time, you will become better able to deal with your stressful problems.

As a layman, I have over fifteen years of experience in dealing with fear and anxiety. At times, my fears had the best of me, however I never gave up and I was always determined to find the answers to my problems. Regardless of how difficult it may be to manage your fears and anxieties, the answers are out there if you look hard enough.

Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear” an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com

Depression Homeopathy

Depression health encyclopedia.

Authentic Happiness

Posted by admin on 05/03/2012 None comments

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE – how to build positive emotions for extraordinary and happy life.

Did you know that you can increase your happiness and life satisfaction?

According to Dr. Seligman from the University of Pennsylvania, founder of the Positive Psychology movement, there are 3 types of happy life: pleasant life, good life and meaningful life. Commonality between these areas of happiness are positive emotions. Unlike negative emotions that are about survival, positive emotions build personal resources and increase life satisfaction.

Here are some strategies and tools:

1. To rewrite your life story and deliberately use your memories as precious gifts and experiences.

Create a positive introduction.Use events in your life that most represent your talents and strength in a way you handled the events.

To use your signature strength to create flow.

To find out your signature strength go to www.authentichappiness.com and fill out VIA Strength Servey.

The test will give your top five signuture strength.

How you can use them in your life, work and play?

3. To build optimism and create the future you desire.

One of the easiest way to build optism is to interpret the what happened in your life in a positive way. Try it today and see your life change.

4. To live life of meaning and satisfaction beyond what you think is possible.

Call Bronya today to find out how to use these strategies in your life.

Have a wonderful day!

Bronya Zeitlin

Life coach – authentic happiness

973-992-8331

973-727-0807 – cell

bzeit@comcast.net

http://www.meditationstate.com/authappiness.htm

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